Markers and Clubs
by Supermandayz
Summary: She's loved her husband since she was 18. She knew he cheated and she kept turning a blind eye but she was getting tired of constantly being forced to look at it. There was only so much she could take before she has to choose. Then he was forced to leave her and she realized maybe it wasn't so bad after all.
1. Chapter 1

Taking a deep breath in and holding it for a second I closed my eyes and released it. This wasn't my first time being pulled into a police station but this was the wrong time for me to be pulled in.

"It's nice to meet you Ms. Caymen," a smiling officer said as he came into the room.

"Why am I here?" I asked moving my hands from the table to my lap.

"We recently came across your name in a few documents concerning a couple of people under investigation right now," he said sitting down across from me and looking through a folder.

"Care to share with the class?" I asked getting annoyed that I was being held here.

"Your family is a bit of a legend around here Ms. Caymen," he said closing the folder and looking directly at me.

"Well they've been around for a long time. Now why am I here?" I asked again.

"You own a couple strip clubs correct? How'd you get involved in that line of work? If I'm correct your family is in auto repair."

"You're imagining me in a thong with my tits out and crawling towards you on the stage aren't you?" I asked smiling at him and leaning forward.

When he didn't answer my smile got wider as I leaned back against my chair.

"I got into this business because my husband likes to screw strippers. I bought the first club and fired the girl. She hasn't worked a club in over eight years.  
"A little harsh don't you think?" the officer asked.

"Is this why you brought me in? To talk about how I treat my past employees? I'm assuming I'm not under arrest. So why am I here?" I asked yet again getting more annoyed by the lack of answers.

"Did you know that your husband has brought back his past time of cheap women? From what I've seen it's been at least four different women all blondes and well they differ a great deal from you," he said referring to my dark brown hair and lightly tanned skin as he showed me a pile of pictures.

"So I'm married to a cheater, thousands if not millions of people are. I didn't know that having bad taste in men was a crime. So again what do you want?"

"We want information about your family and who your husband is working for. I thought that you'd like to know about your husbands extra-curricular activities," he said folding his hands on top of the folder and looking at me.

"The only information I have is what my son is learning at his fancy ass private school and how much a lap dance is going for now a days. So unless you want to learn how to read a Dr. Seuss book or where to get a cheap lap dance, which I'm guessing you'd need more help with the book. I'm going to go now," I told him standing up.

"I guess I will see you around then Ms. Caymen," he said smiling at me before I walked out of the room.

Walking out of the station I pulled my sunglasses out of my purse and started for my SUV. If I was lucky they would all be at the shop. Pulling out I saw a blonde woman in a suit watch as I backed out of the parking spot and pulled out of the lot onto the street.

I parked on the other side of the street watching as cars and motorcycles pulled into the lot and people were looking happy. I remembered this, I remembered what it was like to a part of a family. But then again I also made my choice to stay away from this and raise my son. Sighing I looked at myself in the mirror making sure that my makeup was still dark and smokey, my lipstick was still a grey purple, and my bronzer was still just right.

"Come on girl get it together. You're a top bitch, you know these people. Your husband is a part of this," I muttered to myself as I started to breathe again.

Looking back at the building I grabbed my purse and got out of the SUV. Locking it I walked across the street and walked up to the gate.

Taking a deep breath in I walked in and felt an odd sense of calm and panic. Each were fighting for dominance and I honestly had no idea what one was going to win.

"Hey sweetheart friends and family only, you gotta leave," a younger tanned member said walking towards me.

"I'm looking for someone flash," I said putting my hand on my hip and raising my eyebrow over my sunglasses.

"Aye we have a problem here?" said the scotsman from behind me.

"Finally someone I know around here," I said smiling as I turned around and took off my sunglasses.

"Lela it's good to see ya love," Chibs said smiling as he hugged me.

"Good to see you to Chibs. Have you seen my Old Man?" I asked as we pulled apart.

"He should be inside. Gemma's put up a breakfast for everyone. We didn't know you were coming love," he said as we walked towards the club house.

"It was a last minute trip. Is my Uncle here? I asked as he opened the door for me.

Before Chib's could answer me I was greeted by name being yelled out across the room.

"Lela!"

Smiling I turned towards the crazy man with the curly hair and blue eyes.

"There he is," I said smiling as he came and hugged me.

"What are you doing here baby girl? I thought the kiddo had school still?" he asked as we pulled apart.

"He is, he is. I uh just have to talk about some stuff real quick," I told him.

"What are you doing here?" asked a gruff scratchy voice from behind me.

Turning around I looked at him.

"We need to talk big man," I told him crossing my arms against my chest.

"Fine, come on," he said walking away.

"I'll uh talk later Tig," I said before following him towards the dorms.

When I walked into the room he was in I looked around. It was clean, like our house but yet it still felt dirty and cheap.

"Why are you here?" he asked again after closing the door.

"I got pulled into the police station today. Care to guess why?" I said leaning against his dresser and crossing my legs.

"I don't have time for these games Lela," he said getting upset.

"Are you guys in trouble? I know I don't ask and you don't tell till I do ask, but if I'm going to be dragged into a police station every day I come here for work I want to at least know why Hap," I told him.

"Fuck. Where's the kid?" he asked finally noticing that I was alone.

"It's ten in the morning Hap he's in fucking school. Besides if he was with me I would not be asking this calmly."

"Fine. We are getting some pressure from the Feds but we are taking care of it. Just watch out and keep the kid close okay?" he said walking towards me.

"Are you going inside again?" I asked him pushing the thought of the blondes out of my head.

"Yeah we are. You're a tough bitch babe, it will be okay," he said wrapping his arms around me.

"Sure it will be," I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and we just stood there for a moment in our own little world.

"Hey Happy lets go!" came a voice I didn't recognize from the other side of the door as the hit it.

"That's your que. Be safe baby," I said kissing him on the cheek before we pulled apart.

"You stayin?"

"Nah I have work to do. Call me when you can?" I asked gripping my faded dark red and black plaid shirt tighter to myself.

"Yeah, tell the kid I said I love 'im," he said opening the door.

"Always," I said giving him one last smile.

Taking another deep breath I closed my eyes and let it out.

"Your Uncle said that you came by. Something wrong baby?" Gemma asked from the door.

Looking up at her I smiled at her.

"No everything is good. Just had to talk about some stuff about the kid. You look better," I said as I grabbed my purse and walked towards the door.

"I feel better baby. You staying?" she asked as I turned off lights and locked his door.

"No I have to get to the clubs and do some work while there's school," I told her as we walked back out to the party.

"You staying baby girl?" Tig asked as I passed by the food.

"No I have to work today," I said I put my purse across my body.

"You sure? There's muffins?" he asked again with a smile.

"I'm sure Tig. Look I really have to go, come by some time and we will have dinner Vic was asking about you the other day," I told him before I kissed him on the cheek and left.

As soon as I got out of there I put on my sunglasses and started walking across the quiet parking lot. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of my black heeled boots on the pavement and the faint sounds from inside the building I came from.


	2. Chapter 2

#2

You know those days when your gut is just telling you that you should have stayed home and locked the world out? Well that's where I was right now. Before I even had pulled back into the street my phone started to ring from inside my purse, sighing I reached over and grabbed my bag and took the noisy piece of technology out.

"Hello?" I asked annoyed as I turned onto the street.

"Lela we have a problem."

"Fuck what now Robert?" I asked as I got to a stop sign.

"Just get here as soon as possible," he said before hanging up.

"God damn it mother fucker," I yelled hitting the steering wheel repeatedly.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry over being forced to see my husband screwing other women, I wanted to cry over him leaving again, and over our son not having his father for god knows how long. And now there was something wrong with one of my clubs.

Taking yet another deep breath I sped off towards the club and tried to get myself under control.

"Fucking yoga video was good for something after all," I muttered to myself as I turned the corner onto a back road street.

Pulling up to my club I couldn't believe it. It looked we were in the middle of a god damn raid.

"Son of a bitch," I muttered as I parked on the street.

Grabbing my purse and phone I got out and made sure it was locked before walking into the parking lot.

"Ma'am you can't go in there," an officer said as I got closer.

"The hell I can't this is my club," I told him before ducking under his arm and walking to Robert.

"What the hell is going on here?" I yelled as I got closer.

"Hell if I know. I just saw them on the camera then they were screaming they have a warrant," the big bald man answered.

"Fuck okay did you call Dice?" I asked running my hands through my hair.

"As soon as I saw them on the screen. Told the girls to flush what they could and hide what they couldn't. They shouldn't find anything," he said as an officer came towards us.

"Nice of you to join us Ms. Caymen," said the same smiling officer from this morning followed by a blonde woman in a suit.

"What's going on here? Everyone is clean and there isn't any drugs in my club," I asked folding my arms against my chest.

"Well you can never be too sure. Especially with the company you keep Ms. Caymen," said the blonde woman before they walked away.

"Is this about the club?" Robert asked turning to me.

"Apparently. Jesus fuck, I wanted one day where my kid wouldn't be around a bunch of women with their tits out," I muttered as I walked away from Robert towards the back of the lot.

Taking another deep breath I dug my phone out from my purse and pressed speed dial one.

"What?" came a gruff voice from the other line.

"Are you sure you have this Fed problem under control?" I asked him.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well I'm at DNA and it's being raided right now," I said letting my annoyance come through.

"Are your girls clean?"

"Yes, Jesus I'm not an idiot Hap. Robert was here this morning and saw them on the monitor, all we really have to worry about is Dice. But Hap I can't have this shit ruining my businesses. This is how me and the kid survive and with you going inside we need this money."

"The problem will be taken care of. Go handle your shit," he said before hanging up.

"Gee thanks for all the answers asshole," I mumbled before throwing my phone in my purse.

Walking to where the other girls were I watched as people went in and out of the club never taking my eyes off the door. I wanted nothing more than to burn the place to the ground now that it's been taken over. This was my club, the one place where it didn't matter who I married to or related to. I was in charge, it was my own little world and I was paid to keep it that way.

I stood there for hours just watching them. Watching as they brought things out and took things in. But never finding anything that would make this a clean search.

"Looks like they're leaving," Robert said walking up to me.

"All we can do is hope that shit's not to torn up. I really don't want to risk losing the insurance," I told him.

"You call him?" he asked as we watched cars pull out.

"Yeah, shit's getting rough over there. Didn't say much about what's happening," I told him as the blonde Fed came walking up to us.

"Mrs. Lohman, I'm Agent Stahl," she said sticking out her hand.

"It's Ms. Caymen actually and am I supposed to know who you are?" I asked her not acknowledging her hand.

"I see you and your husband don't talk. I've got to go handle some business now, but I look forward to seeing more of you," she said smiling before walking back to her car.

"Damn bitch," I muttered as I watched the last of the cops turn out of the parking lot.

"Come on we have to go see the damage," Robert said grabbing my elbow and leading me to the building.

"Make sure the front gate is locked. We're closed till we get shit cleaned up," I told him as I stepped inside.

Looking inside I was greeted with broken glasses, torn up furniture and a torn up stage.

"Looks like we get to repaint and get some new furniture," I mumbled as I walked towards the bar.

"Little early ain't it?" Robert asked as I found a bottle of whiskey and opened it.

"Fuck it. It's already been a hellish day," I told him as I took a drink from the bottle.

"What do you want to do?" he asked motioning to the half naked girls walking around.

"We clean up I guess. I'll look at shit tonight when Vic's asleep try and figure out how much all this shit will cost and hope we have enough in the bank," I said as I leaned on the bar top.

"I'll tell the girls to get dressed and we'll clean up. You okay?" he asked looking at me.

"I want to burn this place to the ground. I worked so hard and then we moved and now it's all just trashed to shit. This is all happening at the worst possible time on top of it all."

"The kid at school?" he asked.

"Yeah, I was hoping that after school we could just go home, but looks like we'll be here," I said taking another drink.

"Put down the booze and go get him. Play hooky, he's five he'll love being taken out of school and you need a break. Take the kid out of school get some ice cream, go see his dad. Do something other than sit here and drink and worry," he said taking the bottle from my hand.

"Call me if you need anything. I'll be back later," I told him.

"Okay just go. We have it under control. I'll call Dice later and see if they were hit," he said as he started pushing me towards the door.

When I got outside he opened the gate and I went to my SUV. As soon as I got in my phone started to ring.

"You stupid mother fucker. Don't you ever just shut up," I yelled at it as I grabbed it from my purse.

"What the hell could you possibly want now?" I yelled into it.

"Hey baby girl bad day?" I heard laughing on the other end of the line.

"Jesus Tig you have no idea. What can I do for you?" I asked him.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm going inside for a bit."

"I know Hap told me. Do you guys know how long?" I asked as I started the car.

"No doll we don't. You okay? You sounded a bit annoyed," he asked as I turned toward Vic's school.

"It's been a very long day and it's only two thirty," I explained.

"Well I just wanted you to know what was going to happen. I'll call when I can okay?"

"You always do. Hey you see my husband you tell him to come see his kid if he can before he goes in?" I asked as I turned on to a different street.

"I'll do that. Tell the little monster I said hi."

"I will, hey I gotta go I'm almost to his school. Love you," I told him.

"You too baby girl," he said before hanging up.

Making a right turn I parked in front of Vic's school and got out. It really was a hooky kind of day. Walking into the fancy school I realized how out of place I looked with my black destroyed jeans, black boots, with my one size to big racer back black tank and my plaid shirt.

"Can I help you?" the secretary asked from behind her desk.

"I need to pick up my son," I told her setting my bag on the counter and pushing my sunglasses to the top of my head.

"Name and grade?" she asked getting a slip out.

"Victor Caymen Lohman he's in kindergarten."

"Okay I'll send this down have a seat." She said before standing up and looking at me.

Walking over to the row of uncomfortable chairs I waited for Vic to show up. A few minutes later he was running towards me. His mass of curls flopping and his big brown eyes shining with excitement.

"Mama!" he yelled when he saw me.

"Hey baby," I said standing up and smiling as I hugged him.

"Where's Daddy?" he asked as I picked him up.

"Daddy's at work baby. I thought that we could play hooky for a bit, maybe get some movies and a pizza for tonight," I told him as we left the school.

"Okay," he said wrapping his arms around my neck.

Strapping Vic into his booster seat I kissed the top of his head and went to the front. Again as soon as I got inside my phone started to ring.

"Mother fucker," I yelled as I started to dig for it.

"Mommy that's a bad word," Vic said looking at me through the rear view mirror.

"I know baby and I will put a dollar in the swear jar when we get home okay," I promised as I answered the phone.

"Hello?" I asked as I started the car.

"Hey," he said on the other side.

"Hey baby," I replied smiling as I pulled out.

"Where you at?" he asked.

"I am currently pulling out of Vic's school. I decided we needed to play hooky for a couple hours. Where are you?" I asked as we pulled up to a stop sign.

"I'm about to head out. Just wanted to call you before shit went down."

Sighing I bit back the tears and took a deep breath.

"So it's happening today?" I asked staying longer than needed at the stop sign.

"Yeah, I won't be coming home tonight. Can I talk to the kid?" he asked.

"Yeah, Vic Daddy wants to talk to you," I told him as I turned in my seat to hand him the phone.

"Daddy Mommy says we're having pizza," Vic said excitedly into the phone.

As I drove I couldn't help but wonder what Happy was saying to Vic. But from the sudden fall of his smile I knew he was being told that Daddy wasn't coming home. Pulling over to the side of the street I waited and watched Vic through the rear view mirror. He didn't say much just nodded his head.

"Okay Daddy, I love you," Vic said into the phone before handing it back to me.

"Hey baby," I said smiling into the phone.

"I need you guys to come here. I don't want to risk shit."

"You sure? I was just going to head to DNA and clean up," I replied gripping the steering wheel.

"Just get here okay," he said before hanging up.

"Dick head asshole," I mumbled into the phone.

Taking a deep breath again for what felt like the millionth time today. I closed my eyes and let it out. Putting the phone back in my bag I looked at Vic through the mirror.

"Well baby looks like we are going to go see Daddy at work," I told the little boy as I turned back on to the road and started towards TM.

"Mama why's Daddy going away?" he asked after a few minutes.

"I'm not sure baby. But just know that he's protecting us okay?" I asked making a turn.

"Okay. Do you think Grandpa Tig will play cards with me?" he asked with a smile.

"I'm not sure baby. I think Grandpa Tig is working with Daddy, but I'm sure you can probably get one of the other guys to play with you or maybe Gemma," I told him as we made another turn and pulled on to the street where TM was.

"Mama why aren't you at work?" he asked.

"Because I missed you baby and I wanted to spend some time with you," I said pulling into the lot for the second time that day.

Turning off the car I grabbed my purse from the passenger seat and got out. Walking to Vic's side I saw everyone walking about looking tense. Opening his door I took his back pack from the floor beneath his seat and watched as he unbuckled himself.

"Vic baby you know Mama loves you right?" I asked him as I pushed back some of his curls.

"I love you to Mama," he said giving me a toothy smile.

"You know that Daddy loves you too right?" I asked pushing my sunglasses to the top of my head so that he could see my eyes.

"Mama you okay?" he asked putting both his hands on my cheeks.

"I'm perfect baby," I said smiling at him before I kissed him on the forehead and picked him up.

Closing the door with my hip I began to walk towards the club house. I saw Happy as soon as he walked out and saw me. Before any words were spoken he had us wrapped in his arms and we just stood there in the lot. I knew this was bad if he was hugging us already and it just made me more nervous. But I stuffed down my anxiety and leaned into him as much as I could while still holding Vic and breathed in his scent.

"Thank you," he whispered into my ear.

I couldn't say anything so I just nodded against him.

Before anything else could be said the sound of a bike could be heard and Happy's head shot up.

"Get inside," he said simply pushing us behind him towards the clubhouse.

"I love you," I told him before kissing him quickly.

"Love you Daddy," Vic said giving him a toothy smile.

And that was the last time Vic saw him. After I got inside I put Vic on the couch with his book and walked back outside. I watched as a fight broke out and harsh words of anger and hurt were said. I watched as my husband was taken away in handcuffs, before he was put into the truck he looked back at me and nodded his head. I nodded back and went back inside. It never got old or hurt any less when he went inside and after Vic it just seemed to hurt more.

When I was back inside I sat next to Vic and listened to Vic as he tried to read aloud. I didn't look away from the book till I heard people start to walk inside.

"How you doin' baby?" Gemma asked sitting on the chair.

"It's been a day. But at least Vic got to say goodbye," I said kissing the top of his head.

"You okay with them both being put away?"

"No but we don't get a choice right. We have to go in a bit, there's a lot of shit to clean up," I told her.

"Let me know if you guys need something," she said smiling at me before she got up.

"I think we'll be good Gem but thanks," I said as I closed up Vic's backpack.

"Come on little man we have places to go," I said as I got up and grabbed Vic's hand.

"Where's Daddy?" he asked as he jumped off the couch.

"Daddy went away remember? But he's with Grandpa Tig and we can visit him as soon as he says we can okay?" I said reassuring him as we walked out of the building.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes baby I'm sure. Come on let's go home," I told him as we got closer to the SUV.

The first night was spent watching movies and cuddling with Vic in my bed. It wasn't as hard it was in the beginning, it took a few times but the first became like any other. As the night went on and I watched Vic as he slept I got out of bed and went into the kitchen. Sitting on the counter I took the bottle of whiskey and took a drink. After all the shit of today I was alone now for god knows how long.

Sitting there I drank and let the silent tears fall.


	3. Chapter 3

#3

A/N: I just realized I hadn't really said what Lela looks like. But she looks like Ashley Graham, I love her she's like my total girl crush. To me she fits the character perfectly she looks like she could do what Lela does and be with a man like Happy. Well happy reading folks that was all

The next morning I woke up to the sounds of the TV on and my phone ringing. I tried to ignore it all and fall back asleep but then I realized that it was just Vic and myself in the house and that Hap wasn't here. Sighing I slowly started to open my eyes and looked at Vic as they focused.

"Baby where's Mama's phone?" I asked him when my vision finally focused.

"On your bed," he answered not bothering to turn away from the TV.

Getting up I stretched as I walked down the hall towards the bedroom. Looking at the bed I saw that it was more of a mess than usual and began searching through the jumbled mess of sheets and blankets for the phone.

"Hello?" I answered as I began to change out of Hap's old shirt.

"Hey baby. You free today?" Gemma asked on the other line.

"Uh don't think so why?" I asked putting on a bra.

"You need to come over is what I'm saying. Bring Vic too," she said before hanging up.

"Ugh fucking hell," I muttered as I put on shorts and grabbed another racer back tank.

"Vic baby come on we have to get dressed," I yelled as I walked into his room to get a change of clothes.

"But Mama Dora's on," he yelled back.

"I know baby but we need to get dressed. Now come on," I yelled walking back to the living room.

"But Mama," he whined as I came into the room.

"No whining okay. We are going to go see Gemma and maybe Piper will be there, I'm pretty sure Aunty Lyla told me that she was going to be there this morning. Now please get dressed baby, Mama has a headache and she forgot Daddy wasn't going to be here and I just really need you to be a big boy for me and get dressed," I said sitting in front of him.

"Okay Mama," he mumbled as he took of his pajamas.

"Thank you baby," I said giving him a small smile.

As soon as Vic was dressed in a pair of dark overalls with a white tshirt underneath I turned off the TV and got us to the front door. Grabbing my purse and phone and put on a pair of black sandal wedges I waited for Vic to put on his own pair of Spiderman sandals. Rushing us to the car I made sure to lock the front door and went to unlock Vic's door.

"You buckled in?" I asked him as I got in the drivers seat.

"Yes," he said as he picked up one of his toys from next to him on the seat.

"I'm sorry baby for rushing us this morning. Mama did not expect to be going to Gemma's today, she thought that it was going to be a me and you morning," I told him as we backed out of the driveway.

"Are we going to have breakfast there?" he asked as we sat at a stop sign.

"I'm not sure. But if not we can pick something up okay?" I reassured him wondering if I had a granola bar or some crackers in my bag.

Sighing I knew that this single parent thing was going to take some time to get used to. On a good day Hap was usually the one to be up with Vic in the mornings and made sure he had breakfast, he was the morning person I was the one that slept in till they couldn't anymore. I felt guilty for not even having thought that my own kid hadn't eaten before we left the house.

"Vic," I started looking back at him through the mirror.

"Yeah Mama," he said showing me a smile.

"I'm sorry I didn't remember breakfast baby. Daddy's usually the one to have breakfast with you," I said trying to make sure he knew that I was genuinely sorry.

"I know. I had a poptarts when I woke up. Daddy has a secret stash of them in the cupboard," he said as he went back to playing with his toy dinosaur.

"Daddy has a secret stash of poptarts?" I asked trying not to laugh at the thought of Hap hiding poptarts somewhere in the house.

"Yeah he said it's only for me and him and that I can get one when he's not here in the mornings. Is Piper's Daddy with my Daddy?" he asked.

Biting my lip I couldn't exactly figure out how to explain that to my six year old.

"No baby Opie's not with Daddy," I told him trying to take the easiest way out of the question.

"Oh well who is with Daddy?" he asked as we pulled up to Gemma's house.

"Let's talk about this later at home okay?" I asked as I turned the car off.

"I can unbuckle myself Mama," he said as he went ahead and did it.

"Well aren't you the smart boy," I said smiling at him as he proceeded to climb over the center console and sit in the passenger seat next to me.

"I'm a big boy," he stated with a smile that took up his whole face.

"Yes you are. Now let's go inside and see what's going on," I told him as I looked out the windshield and saw a couple bikes and cars.

Getting out I walked around to the passenger side and opened the door for Vic. Once he was standing on the lawn I made sure the doors were locked and grabbed Vic's hand. When we got to the door I walked in and could hear people talking.

"Hello?" I yelled into the house.

"Aunty Lela," Piper yelled when he saw me.

"Hey Piper," I said smiling as I hugged him.

Walking into the house further I found the rest of the adults talking at the table.

"Well it's about time you got here," Gemma said walking up to us.

"It's been a rough morning," I said as we hugged.

"Gemma do you have poptarts?" Vic asked.

"Poptarts?" she asked back looking confused.

"It's a long story that I just learned about today. Vic baby go play with Piper," I said letting go of his hand and slightly pushing him towards the living room where the kids could be heard.

When I was sure he was out of ear shot I sat down next to Lyla and looked at Gemma and Opie and Kozik.

"What?" I asked looking confused as to why they were staring at me.

"We have some news baby," Gemma said sitting at the head of the table.

"Jesus fuck what one was it and what did they do?" I asked running my hand through my hair annoyed that it hasn't even been twenty four hours and either Hap or Tig were already in trouble.

"It's not that. Your guys have some tempers but not that quick," Opie said laughing at my reaction.

"Then why the fuck are you all looking like someone's in the hole?" I asked.

"They get fourteen months if they are on good behavior," Gemma finally answered.

"That's all?" I asked.

"Yeah that's all," She replied looking worried.

"Why do you still look worried Gemma?" I asked her.

"Do you not care?" she asked.

Before I could answer the front door opened again Tara walked into the room. Sighing I tried not to say anything and just bit my tongue.

"Hey Gem," she said walking over to Gemma and kissing her on the cheek.

"Hi baby. Abel's with the other kids in the living room," she said as Tara went to get a cup of coffee.

"Is that all?" I asked wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

"No, we need to talk about your reaction baby," she said as she lit a cigarette.

"Gemma it's not the longest he's been inside in our relationship. Yes it's not the shortest but it's fourteen months, one year and two months. I will miss him like hell and so will Vic but we have to get on with our lives. Besides now that I know how long he's going to be I can get a dog," I added shrugging my shoulders.

"A dog?" Kozik asked looking confused.

"He hasn't agreed to it for a few years because he wasn't sure how one would work with Vic but a girl that works with me she brings her dog and when I have Vic he loves that thing so why not get one while he's inside."

"You take your son to a strip club?" he asked again.

"Actually I take him to both of my clubs here and he hangs out in my office. But I guess I do why?" I asked getting confused as to where he was going with this.

"Will you adopt me?" he asked laughing.

"Jesus no. I don't need a blonde devil I already have a bald one and two curly haired ones. Besides Tig will not share with you," I told him.

"Ope we should get going," Lyla said looking down at her phone.

"By guys, we have to get some stuff signed off," Opie said before kissing Gemma on the cheek.

"Come by later Lyla Vic misses you and Piper," I said smiling as she hugged me good bye.

After they left it got quiet and Gemma went to go sit with the boys and Kozik went outside to smoke. It was just me and Tara, sighing I started to get up.

"Why do you hate me?" Tara asked forcing me to sit back down.

"Excuse me?" I asked confused.

"Every time we see each other or are around each other you leave or ignore me and I don't know what I did to make you not like me."

"You hated me first Tara. Every summer I would come here to spend it with my Uncle and you hated me for some unknown reason. I don't know if it's because you thought I had a thing for Jax which is so completely wrong because as you can tell by my husband who I've been with for the past ten years Jax is obviously not my type. But whatever it is that made you hate me as a kid did not go away when we moved back down here from Washington, and again I'm still with the same guy and we have a child. So why am I going to be around someone and risk getting into a fight with my husband's VP's old lady?"

"Every time you came I became second place to Jax. That's why I hated you when we were kids, I was his girlfriend and I got replaced to second place every time. I guess when you guys moved down here those old insecurities came back, I know I shouldn't feel that way because you are married but they are there," she said playing with the rim of her coffee cup.

"That's all you had to say. And for the record if I knew Jax had left you to come hang out with me I always tried to get him to go back," I told her before getting up and walking to the living room.

Walking in I saw that Vic was standing in front of the TV watching Transformers and Gemma was talking to Abel on the couch.

"Vic go sit down on the couch or on a chair," I told him before sitting next to Gemma.

"I heard what you said in there," Gemma said while smiling at Abel.

"Yeah? You approve?" I asked.

"I do. I knew she had a problem didn't know that it was because she was jealous. If I had known that I would of told her back then that you already had someone."

"What? I didn't actually date someone that you guys knew about till Hap?" I asked smiling in confusion.

"I know but when you two where in a room together we could all see it. Tig didn't know what to do when you moved down here and started hanging out around the shop after school. Drove him nuts seeing you and Hap together, his niece and his brother."

"Well he obviously got over it," I said looking down and smiling at my silver wedding ring.

"He did. Clay talked him into it you know? We knew he wanted to get Happy away from you, but he was to over protective to see what literally everyone else in the world saw. I guess it all ended for the better," she said smiling at me.

"Yeah I guess it did," I agreed feeling the twinge of pain in my heart as I remembered the blondes from the pictures.


	4. Chapter 4

#4

A/N: And it's flashback time. All italics are flashbacks. Enjoy!

We ended up eating lunch at Gemma's and Vic couldn't be happier as he ran around outside with Kozik. Sitting on Gemma's patio we sat there and smoked.

"What's the matter baby?" She asked flicking the ash off

"Nothing just realized that it's been awhile since Hap's been on the inside," I told her as I brought the cigarette back up to my lips.

"What were you guys talking about the other day when you came to the club?"

"I got pulled in to the station when I drove in. They had pictures of Happy," I told her as I flicked my own ash.

"What kind of pictures?" she asked with a worried tone.

"He was screwing some blondes, in town. I mean I'm not stupid I know he screws other women, but really here. I even know a couple of the girls, they work for me. I just I don't know what to do," I told her as I brought the cigarette back to my lips.

"Well that's a shit storm. Does he know you know?" she asked.

"No, I was going to but then he told me they were going inside and I dropped it. What's the point in starting something if he's not going to be here to have a screaming match with and end with angry make up sex," I explained shrugging my shoulders.

"What are you going to do about the girls?"

"Oh as soon as DNA is cleaned up their skinny little bitch asses are fired," I told her with a smile.

"There's my girl. So how's Vic handling Happy being inside?" she asked changing the subject.

"I don't think he realizes that he's not coming back. I'm guessing in a month or so he'll start asking questions. I mean it's not exactly strange for Hap to be gone for days on end Gem."

"Are you sure you are going to be okay with Hap being inside?" she asked turning to face me.

"Did he ask you to keep an eye on me?" I asked turning to face her now.

"He's worried baby. It's been a rough year for you guys and him going in he's not going to be the most confident in it," she explained.

"Jesus, Gem it's not like that was the first time this is happened to us," I said feeling tears form in my eyes as I thought about the miscarriage.

"That doesn't mean he's not going to worry. I mean the last time it happened and he was inside you ran away for two years and no one heard from you till he got out and you had Vic."

"Okay that was the first one and I didn't know what to do, I had no one. We had just moved to Tacoma and he was just put away and I was twenty two. It's a little understandable that I would be scared and run. Besides this is a totally different situation," I told her as I lit another cigarette.

"Oh yeah how? Because they seem pretty identical to us."

"How about that I'm twenty eight now and since then I've now had two others now. I'm not going to run because of that. Is it painful yes, but its life and I have Vic now."

"Alright well just be sure to tell him that when he calls. It's not going to stop him from worrying that you are going to do something stupid, but it helps that hears it."

"Jesus you guys are acting like I'm going to kill myself over this shit," I said getting up and walking into the house.

Walking in I got a glass of iced tea from the fridge and when I turned around Tara was standing there holding Abel.

"Fuck how much did you hear?" I asked her.

"Just the miscarriages. Have you been to a doctor about those?"

"Yeah after the first two. I didn't want to but Hap did, they said that sometimes these things happen. Ironically the first one was the only one we really tried for. What about you doctor you and Jax going to have some kids?" I asked as I brushed back some of Abels hair.

"Actually I'm pregnant," she said giving me a small smile.

"Congratulations. It's an amazing feeling no matter how long it lasts," I said smiling at her before going back outside.

"Mama Kozik says we can go out for ice cream," Vic said running up to me with a smile on his face.

"He did did he?" I asked looking between the young child and the grown man.

"I might have mentioned it," he said taking a drink from his beer bottle.

"I'm not sure baby. I'll think about it okay?" I said as I sat back down in my chair.

"But Mama please," he begged putting his hands on my legs.

"I said I'll think about it. Now go play before I change my mind and say no," I told him as I lit another cigarette.

"Fine," he mumbled before walking inside.

"So why can't the kid have some ice cream?" Kozik asked sitting on one of the patio chairs.

"Because I'm his mother and I said so. Is there a reason your making promises to my kid that you have no way to keep? I think his Dad does that enough for one lifetime," I said taking a drag of the cigarette.

"I'm just going to go inside with the kid," he said getting up and walking inside.

"Sweetheart get a drink," Gemma said.

"That's for tonight. I'm going to get going, I have to get to DNA I left them all in charge of clean up yesterday and I can only hope that they actually did shit," I told her getting up.

"Call if you need anything baby," she said as Tara came out of the house still holding Abel.

"Vic meet me by the door," I yelled walking inside.

Walking in the house I saw various pictures of everyone. I smiled as I saw a picture of me and Hap when we first started dating. We were just sitting next to each other talking about nothing but everything.

 _I was waiting for Tig to be done fucking whoever it was this afternoon to get the new keys to the house. As I waited Happy came over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders._

" _What are you doing here?" he asked pulling me in._

" _I am waiting for Tig. He has the new keys," I said smiling at him._

" _And here I thought that you were just here to see me," he said smiling before kissing me._

 _I smiled as I gripped his kut pulling him into me. We didn't pull apart till both of us needed air, effectively just leaving us gasping for air._

" _I should leave more often," he replied with a chuckle._

" _Don't even think about it big man," I said patting his hand as I turned back to the papers in front of me._

" _What are you looking at?" he asked finally noticing the stack._

" _Just some college shit. Uh Mac left it in the mailbox last night," I told him getting nervous._

" _Your brother's back in town? I thought that he was put away?" Hap questioned._

" _I did too. But who the fuck knows with him," I explained watching as he picked one up._

" _You thinking about it?"_

" _God no, I barely got through high school there's no way in hell I'm going to make it through college. Besides the way shit is now I'd have more luck stripping than going to school," I said laughing at his facial expression when I mentioned it._

" _Ain't no one seeing those tits but me," he growled reaching down and grabbing one._

" _Sorry big man but I gotta make money somehow. So it's either stripping or porn, I got a real nice offer from Luann after I graduated," I said laughing at him._

"Mama I'm ready," Vic said tugging at my shorts.

"Okay lets go," I answered giving him a smile before walking to the door.


	5. Chapter 5

#5

"Mama where are we going?" Vic asked as we pulled away from Gemma's house.

"We are going to one of Mama's clubs. Did you have fun?" I asked him as we turned onto a back road.

"Yeah Kozik is fun. He doesn't know how to play tag though," he said as he found his toy dinosaur.

"Oh yeah, did you teach him?" I asked him as I turned.

"He got mad when I said Grandpa Tig knew how and that he was better."

"Yeah Kozik and Grandpa Tug don't really like each other."

"Why don't you just take away their toys till they get along? That's what my teacher does at school or we go on the naughty chair," he explained swinging his legs in his booster seat.

"I don't think sitting in a naughty chair will make them get along baby. But it's sweet that you want them to," I said as we pulled up to the front gate of DNA.

"That's okay Kozik said that every time he sees me I get five bucks, because I told him that Grandpa Tig gives me a dollar," he smiling at me.

"Baby Grandpa Tig gives you a quarter," I corrected before putting in the security code.

"So?" he asked looking confused.

"You are your Father's child," I mumbled as we pulled into the lot.

Parking I saw that the front door was open and there was already a dumpster outside the building.

"Okay when we get inside you stay where I can see you. There's a lot of broken things inside and I don't want you to get hurt," I explained as I grabbed my purse from the passenger seat.

"What happened?"

"Some people got very mad and made a mess. You know like when me or Daddy tells you to put up your toys and when you don't want to you throw them?"

"Oh did you tell them to pick up their toys?" he asked.

"Something like that baby," I said getting out of the car and walking to his door.

"Did you put them in time out too?" he asked as he unbuckled himself and got out.

"No I did not, but I would like to. Come on little man," I said putting my hand on his head and steering him towards the door.

Walking inside it looked sadder than it had yesterday. There were more torn up booths and broken tables looking around it looked like the glass had all been swept up.

"Wasn't expecting you. I heard about the guys," Robert said walking out from the back.

"Yeah, I needed to avoid some people so we are going to clean," I told him as I sat my purse on the bar.

"Well it's just me right now. We got all the glass and most of the broken furniture thrown out yesterday. At this point it's just deciding what to keep and what to throw out and seeing how much the stage will cost to fix," he said wiping his hands on a rag.

"Mama can I play over there?" Vic asked pointing to one of the smaller stages off to the side.

"Yeah just be careful please," I told him as he ran off.

Sighing I looked around. All the years of hard work thrown out and not to mention two days of business lost.

"How much crap do we have to replace?" I asked turning to face Robert.

Hearing him sigh I knew it was bad and hoped that I had enough in the bank.

"Well we need a wall of booths and about six tables. I can talk to some people see if we can get a deal on some stuff or we can try and redecorate. It's up to you," he said leaning against the bar next to me.

"The booths we need and I'll look into maybe getting some different tables for that stage. What about the stage?" I asked not wanting to know how much the damage was.

"That's the only good news. The damage isn't too bad, I know a guy and he can do it for about half of what some of the other guys would charge. But it's not going to be cheap," he said looking around.

"Well it looks like things are going to be tight for a bit, good thing I'm not paying a couple girls," I told him as I started to dig in my purse for a notepad and a pen.

"Why aren't you paying a couple girls?" Robert asked with a worried tone.

"They screwed Happy. So I'm going to fire them and say that I got a tip that they are hooking on the side and we can't take the risk of their shit blowing back on us. Don't give me that look Robert," I said looking up at him.

"You're firing two dancers because your husband can't keep in his pants. Is that really fair?" he asked.

"No it's not but I don't give a fuck. They should of known not to let him stick his dick there, it's not like we are exactly no PDA around here. Besides I made it very clear when I hired each and every one of them that they were not to go to any of those parties and if I find out they did they will be fired. I know the shit that goes on there I don't need some used, diseased dirty tits and pussy at my club," I told him as I went back to making my list.

"You're the boss lady," he said before going back to cleaning.

"You bet your bald head I am," I said laughing at him.

We went through the club till it was dark outside. A majority of the furniture had to be thrown away or with a few tables put aside till I figured out what I wanted to do. As I carried a sleeping Vic out I looked around and couldn't help but feel some sadness at how empty everything looked compared to what it usually looked like, full and busy with drunk and sober men walking around. Sighing I watched as Robert locked the front door.

Putting Vic into his booster seat I made sure he was buckled in before closing the door.

"I'll call you when I have shit figured out," I told Robert.

"Do we send the girls here to Dice?" he asked leaning against his own SUV.

"Yeah I guess I mean we all need to make some money and I want to keep as much of them as I can. So I guess talk to Mike and see who can go where and I'll try to think of some events to get more people there. I'll talk to you later, I have to get this one some food and to bed," I said pointing to inside the car.

With a nod of his head he got into his SUV and I followed suit. Pulling out first I turned towards home. Seeing the club so empty I thought back to when I first bought it and showed Happy.

" _Please just close your eyes babe," I asked again as we stood in front of the closed black door._

" _Why?"_

" _If you close your eyes now I'll let you blind fold mine and do that thing you only get on special occasions," I proposed with a smile._

" _Do we have the kid tonight?" he asked smirking._

" _No Grandpa Tig wanted him for the night. So it's just me you and I bought some treats today at the store," I told him making the deal a little sweeter._

" _What kind of treats?"_

" _Oh for the love of god and all that is holy. Close your mother fucking eyes and I will let you do all types of dirty shit to me, just let me have this one fucking surprise," I yelled getting annoyed._

" _Your last surprise was a kid," he mumbled before closing his eyes._

" _Well this one is a bit bigger," I told him as I unlocked the door and grabbed his hand before leading him inside._

 _Turning to face him I positioned him so that he was more in the middle of the room._

" _Okay and open," I said smiling._

" _What is this?" he asked looking around._

" _This is my club. I'm done stripping," I told him as I walked towards where I had marked out the main stage._

" _Wait what?" he asked looking confused._

" _I know you hate that I do this, but you let me because we need the money. Well while you were inside in Tacoma I saw got a package from Mac. I never opened it because I thought that it was just some bullshit thing he sent while high but when we moved I found it and I opened it. He created an account and told me the money in it was for me to do with as I pleased. This right here is where the main stage will be," I explained as I spray painted it onto the concrete floor._

" _When were you going to tell me about the money?" he asked getting angry._

" _When I figured out what I wanted to do with it. It was either create something that would give us the money we need or continue with a job you hate that I do and that I don't want my son to see me do when he's fifteen and sneaking into strip clubs. I know I should of told you but I'm doing this for you, I don't want you to hate what I do to help put food on the table."_


	6. Chapter 6

#6

 **A/N: I'm going to jump a few months well like a lot like seven months. Shit is going to get real so be prepared!**

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"Mama, Mama come on," Vic said shaking me awake.

"What is it baby?" I asked mumbling into my pillow.

"It's time to go visit Daddy. Come on lets go," he said proceeding to jump up and down on the bed.

"Victor what did Mommy say about jumping on the bed?" I asked sitting up.

"Not to unless it's my own or to only do it if Grandpa Tig is on the couch," he said stopping and sitting down.

"Exactly and baby we don't see Daddy till tomorrow remember? It's only on Saturdays," I told him as I moved the curls from his eyes.

"What day is it then?"

"It's Friday. So we have to get you ready for school and then after school we will go and get you a haircut as a surprise for Daddy," I explained getting up.

"Can't I miss school?" he whined from his spot on the bed.

"As much as I would love to not take you baby you have to. Daddy wants you to go to school so that when he gets out you can read him a story and write him letters," I said putting a tank top over my sports bra.

"I can write Daddy letters?" he asked with a hint of excitement in his voice.

"Of course baby. I'm sure that he would love to get a letter from you same with Grandpa Tig," I said walking over to him.

"Why can't we go see Daddy today?" he asked again.

"Because those are the rules. Now come on lets go get some breakfast and see if I can fix your bed head," I said picking him up by the waist upside down.

The whole time he was laughing as I waddled the two of us to the kitchen. Once I set him back up he looked up at me with the biggest smile and his curls everywhere both from being upside down and from his bed head.

"What would you like?" I asked as I started to make myself some coffee.

"I want chocolate cereal," he said going to his chair.

I grabbed his Captain America bowl from the cabinet and grabbed the coco pebbles from the top of the fridge.

"Milk?" I asked him.

He was going between wanting milk in his cereal and not, no matter what type it was.

"Yes please," he said looking at the small TV he had turned on.

Looking at the clock I grabbed the milk and poured it into his cereal.

"Okay we have fifteen mins till we have to leave for school," I told him.

Just mumbling something he continued to watch the cartoon and eat his cereal. Shaking my head I walked back to my room and grabbed my phone from the bedside table. Looking at the mirror facing the bed I looked trying to decide if I should change out of the running shorts and tank top and put on real clothes. Deciding against it that I was only dropping off Vic at school I walked down the hall into the bathroom deciding that I would at least fill in my eyebrows.

"Mama I'm all done," Vic yelled as he ran into the bathroom.

"Come on then, I have to try and get your mess of curls fixed and you have to brush your teeth," I replied setting the pencil down and moving his stool over to the sink.

Grabbing the spray bottle from beside the sink I began to spray some of the curls sticking up and grabbed the brush.

"Ow," Vic yelled with his toothbrush in his mouth.

"I know it hurts baby, but we don't have any detangler and you had a wild night apparently," I told him as I grabbed his head and tried to brush some down.

After a few minutes of trying and Vic yelling I gave up grabbed a wash cloth to wash his face with.

"Okay spit and rinse," I told him turning on the water.

When he spit and rinse I quickly washed his face with the washcloth and told him to go get dressed. I have never been so thankful for dark colored jeans and shorts. No matter what he chose it would at least decently match and that's all I cared about as I quick cleaned up the bathroom.

"I'm ready Mama," he said running into me as I walked out of the bathroom.

"You have your books and homework?" I asked as I walked back to my room to get my flip flops.

"Yes," he said following me.

"Why are you wearing sandals and jeans baby?" I asked when I looked down at his feet.

"I couldn't find my other shoe. I think the dog hid it," he said as we walked out of my room and to the front door.

"Vic we don't have a dog," I told him as I grabbed a red and black plaid shirt and my purse before turning off the TV in the kitchen and pouring my coffee into a to go cup.

"He's invisible Mama," he said making it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh really, well maybe you and your dog can find your shoe tonight when we get home," I told him as I opened the front door.

"If he doesn't want it found I can't help Mama," he explained as he walked to his door.

"Vic you need those shoes to go see Daddy. So either find them or you don't get to see Daddy," I told him as I unlocked the car and opened his door.

"Fine," he mumbled before climbing into the SUV.

Sighing I closed his door and got in to the driver's seat. It was already a long morning and I hadn't even been up thirty mins. Taking a sip of my coffee I pulled out of the driveway and tried to ignore the grumpy child in the back. Half a cup of coffee later we pulled up to the school and I parked.

"Vic," I said looking at him through the rear view mirror.

"Baby please look at me," I asked after I turned around in my seat to face him.

"Yes Mama," he said finally looking at me.

"How about after your haircut we get some ice cream?" I bribed.

"You promise?"

"I pinky promise," I replied sticking my hand out pinky in the air.

"Okay," he said wrapping his own small finger around mine.

"Did Grandpa Tig ever teach you how to end a pinky promise?" I asked him.

"No he said he would though."

"Well I'm going to. So after you lock pinkies you say 'Lock it',"

"Lock it," he repeated.

"Then you say 'Kiss it' and then out kiss the end of your hand."

"Kiss it," he repeated before kissing his own hand.

Following suit I kissed my own and saw the smile on his face.

"Okay now you can't break a pinky promise baby."

"I won't Mama."

"Okay now unbuckle yourself and I will walk you to the yard," I told him as I turned back around and turned off the car.

Getting out I put my sunglasses on and walked around the car to Vic's door.

"Come on big boy," I told him when I opened my door.

"I'm a big boy," he said smiling as he jumped from the car on to the asphalt.

"Jesus Vic you are going to be the death of me," I said as I closed his door and grabbed his hand before we walked across the street to the school.

When we got to the gate I let go of his hand and bent down so that I was eye level.

"Have a good day and be nice to the other kids and your teachers and I will be right here to get you after school," I told him before kissing the top of his head.

"Bye Mama," he said running off.

Smiling I walked back towards the car.

Stopping for a passing car I heard a couple of the moms whispering and turning to face them they instantly stopped talking.

"Would you like to tell me something?" I questioned.

"It's really inappropriate of you to come around children dressed like that," a blonde lady said.

"So I should dress like my grandmother, in slacks and an ugly as fuck printed shirt?" I questioned crossing my arms.

"It's appropriate and modest," she answered.

"I'm dropping my kid off at school not going to a funeral or court. I'd say the fact that I'm covered as much as I am is a miracle since I was working till four. Now if you'll excuse me I have random people to show my tits to," I told them before walking across the street and getting into the car.

Starting the car I pulled away and drove home. When I finished my coffee I noticed a car parked outside of the house as I pulled up. Grabbing my purse I made sure I had my phone and that the gun was in the bag. Getting out I quickly locked the car and walked inside the house. As I sat the cup and my purse on the kitchen counter there was a knock on my door. Grabbing the gun from my purse I walked to the door and looked out the peep hole. There was a blonde woman standing on the porch looking nervous.

"Can I help you?" I asked opening the door keeping the gun in my hand but at my side.

"Yeah uh is Happy here?" she asked nervously her eyes going between me and the gun.

"No he's not what can I help you with?"

"Do you know when he's going to be back?"

"In about another seven months sweetheart. Now why are you here?" I asked again getting annoyed.

"Are uh you his wife?"

"Jesus you fucked him didn't you?" I asked figuring it out.

"Look I didn't come here to cause trouble I just really need to talk to your husband."

"He's locked up right now, so what did you come here for? Did you think he'd want to go another round? Or that him seeing you he'd leave me for you?"

She waited a few minutes before answering but when she did it made my heart stop.

"No actually I just wanted to tell him I'm pregnant. Look I don't know if I'm even going to keep the baby or give it up, but I figured that he at least deserved to know. This is my number can you have him call me?" she asked handing me a piece of paper.

Without saying a word I grabbed the paper and slammed the door shut. Turning around I was faced with a wall of pictures from over the years. Most from the first year Happy and Vic spent together.

Hearing her words echo in my head I grabbed a picture and threw it at the next wall. Before I knew it the wall was bare and there was a pile of broken wood and glass. Gasping for breath I slowly fell to the ground as I tried to breathe. The tears just kept coming as I leaned against the wall.

This wasn't happening, he was having a baby with another woman. Someone that wasn't me.


	7. Chapter 7

#7

A/N: I see two more chapters before another time jump to when they get out. But be prepared it's going to be a hell of a ride.

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I sat there for hours. I couldn't bring myself to move. This wasn't happening, this was some sick and twisted dream that my mind had come up with. Looking at the clock on the wall I saw that it was almost time to pick up Vic from school.

Looking around I felt numb. I walked over to the pile of broken picture frames and glass. Carefully bending down I started to pick the pictures up, there were pictures of Happy and Vic sleeping on the couch together. Another from our first Christmas together where he spent all day building toys. As I picked them up I felt more tears roll down my face. After all the pictures were picked up and stacked, I put them on the kitchen counter as I got the broom to clean up the glass and broken frame. By the time I was done it was time to pick up Vic and I dropped everything in the trash can before going outside keys in hand.

Standing outside of Vic's school I was thankful for the small blessing sunglasses were. I was still wearing my clothes from this morning and I knew I looked horrible from the crying.

"Mama!" Vic yelled running towards me.

"Hey baby," I said forcing a smile as I bent to catch him and hug him.

"Look I drew Daddy a picture. Can I take it to him tomorrow?" he asked with a big smile on his face.

"I don't know baby but we will definitely send it to him in the mail okay," I said as I grabbed his hand and we started walking towards the car.

"Are we going for my haircut?" he asked as I opened his door.

"No baby, there's been a change of plans," I told him as he climbed in and I shut his door.

"Do I still get the ice cream?" he asked as I got in the car.

"Yeah, we can get some ice cream," I told him before driving off.

When we got to the ice cream shop I realized I didn't have anything with me, no wallet, no cash, no debit or credit cards, I didn't even have my phone, just my keys.

"Fuck," I yelled hitting the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry baby but Mama doesn't have anything to get you ice cream with. We have some at home though baby," I told him as I pulled out again.

"I want ice cream though," he whined.

"Victor we have ice cream at home. Now I'm sorry I forgot money but shit happens baby," I told him as we waited at the stop light.

"You broke your pinky promise," he said crossing his arms in frustration.

"Baby I'm sorry I really am. But Mama is sick and Daddy's not here to help. So you have to work with me here kiddo," I explained as we turned towards the house.

The rest of the drive was silent. We both just sat there and waited for it to be over.

Pulling up to the house I turned off the car and got out quickly. I didn't want to be outside I barely wanted to be outside my room. Opening Vic's door he ran out and into the house. Slamming his door shut I locked the car and went inside locking the front door after I was in. Not seeing any signs of Vic in the living room I began to worry until I heard the sound of him slamming his door shut.

Sighing I looked around there was still signs of Happy everywhere even though he hadn't been here in seven months. I walked into my room and put my sunglasses on the dresser before sitting on the bed.

Ten years, I had been with him for ten years and I knew everything and I never gave a shit. But this was something I didn't know how to process, I had seen it before but I never thought that it would be us in this situation. It was always supposed to be me having his kids, we both knew it. And after everything that happened before and after Vic I was broken. There was nothing left to give.

Clasping my hand over my mouth I let out a sob. I sat there sobbing till I heard the door open and small feet walking towards me.

"I'm sorry Mama please don't cry I didn't mean to yell," Vic said his tone laced with worry as he tried to hug me.

"Oh baby I'm not mad about that. I think I'm getting sick is all," I told him as I wiped my eyes and brought him closer to me.

"I love you Mama," he said as he laid his head in the crook of my neck.

"I love you too baby boy. I don't think we'll be able to see Daddy tomorrow though," I told him after I kissed his cheek.

"Because you're sick," he asked.

"Yeah baby because I'm sick," I told him.

We sat there together till Vic left saying he wanted a snack. When he came back he came back with a package of poptarts and sat on the floor watching the TV I had turned on while he was gone.

It wasn't till dinner that I finally decided to order a pizza. I didn't eat I just made sure that Vic did. When he fell asleep in bed with me I watched him sleep. At this moment he was everything. Getting up I went and found my phone in the kitchen. I scrolled till I found the number I was looking for.

"Hello?" asked a tired voice.

"Lyla?" I asked as I watched Vic sleep from the doorway.

"Lela? What's wrong?" she asked worry in her tone.

"I know it's late but uh do you think you could watch Vic for me tomorrow afternoon?" I asked her.

"Isn't it visiting day?"

"Yeah but uh something came up that I have to talk to Happy about and I don't want Vic there. I'll explain later but I just really need you to watch Vic for me," I begged.

"Of course sweetie. Are you okay though? You sound like you've been crying."

"It's so bad Lyla. I didn't think it could get this bad, but I just . . . I don't know what to do anymore," I told her as more tears came down my face.

"What happened sweetie? Op's home so I can come there now."

"No it's okay. Stay home enjoy the kids and Op, thank you for watching Vic tomorrow."

"It's no problem. Call me if you need me to come over okay."

"Okay I will, bye," I said hanging up.

I stood in the doorway watching Vic for a little bit longer. I knew I wouldn't sleep much tonight but I went back to the bed anyways. I watched some kid shows in case Vic woke up in the middle of the night like he had been doing most of the nights since Happy's been gone.

It wasn't till I felt Vic shake me awake that I realized I had fallen asleep.

"Mama are you better?" Vic asked from beside me.

"Not really baby. But I'm going to go see someone to get better though, how does spending the afternoon with Aunt Lyla and Piper sound?" I asked moving his curls from his face.

"Okay," he said giving me a smile.

"I love you baby you know that right? I love you so much that I think it surprises everyone," I told him as I continued to run my hand through his hair.

"I love you too and Daddy. Do you think Daddy will miss us today?" he asked.

"Yeah but he has pictures and we can send him your picture tomorrow and then he'll always have something to remind of you," I told him giving him a small smile.

Getting up I made Vic breakfast and put on the TV in the kitchen before I went to the bathroom and started the shower. I cried in it as the steam filled the room, I didn't know what else to do. I had to somehow wrap my head around everything and I couldn't figure out how. After a while I got out of the shower and walked to the kitchen with a towel wrapped around me to make sure Vic was still eating. Seeing that he was I went back to my room and got dressed. I was numb again, I was going through the motions of life.

Looking at my closet I decided on black skinny jeans and a flowy cami with a black zip up sweatshirt and black I got dressed I left the room and went to put on some makeup. My bags had bags, grabbing the foundation I covered it all. I wanted no traces of the restless night from before. I did my usual dark smokey eye with bronzer.

"Vic come on you have to take a shower baby," I yelled down the hallway.

"But Mama," he yelled back.

"Vic come on."

Hearing him run to the bathroom I turned the shower on and left the door open while I went to his room to get an outfit ready.

"Wash your hair Vic!" I yelled.

Setting out a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle tshirt and a pair of shorts on his bed I left his room and went back to the bathroom. Opening the curtain I watched as Vic washed his hair. Grabbing the shower head I shielded his eyes with my hand and rinsed out his hair. When he was clean of soap I wrapped him in his towel and began to dry him off.

"Mama where are you going?" he asked as I tried to get as much water out of his hair as possible.

"I have some things to do. I'm gonna get better okay baby. Now go get dressed I sat your clothes out on your bed and please remember underwear," I yelled the last part as he ran off.

Hearing giggles I walked around the house making sure that I had what I needed. I had my purse, my wallet, keys and phone.

"I'm ready Mama," Vic yelled as he came running down the hall.

Smiling at him I pushed him towards the door and grabbed my purse. It was a short drive to Opie's where Lyla now lived. I parked on the street and got Vic out of the car before we walked up to the house. Walking in I heard the TV and the sounds of kids playing.

"Lyla?" I yelled into the house.

"Kitchen," she yelled back.

"Go play Vic," I told him as I walked towards the kitchen.

"Look at you playing house," I said smiling at her as I leaned against the doorway.

"Shove it," she said laughing.

"Vic is somewhere around here. Probably with Piper, but thanks for this really."

"It's no problem. So are you going to tell me before or after you go see Happy?" she asked putting her hand on her hip.

"After I dropped Vic off at school yesterday some lady came to the house looking for Happy."

"Shit."

"Not even the worst part. She's pregnant and she's saying it's Happy's. I know I should just brush it off like I do everything else, but she left a couple sonograms in the mailbox. Lyla that baby was conceived when I was going through my miscarriage. My baby was dead and he was out screwing some random blonde and they created a child together."

"Oh sweetie," she said before hugging me.

"I need to get going it's already eleven. Thanks again for this," I said pulling back and going to walk out.

The drive to the jail I felt nothing. It was the most heart breaking drive I had ever done. When I got there I sat in the parking lot breathing. After getting my emotions under control I walked inside and waited to see Happy.

When I saw him I felt a new wave of pain hit. He didn't let his face show it but I saw it in his eyes that he was happy to see me.

"Where's the kid?" he asked once he was seated.

"He's at Lyla and Opie's. We need to talk Happy," I told him.


	8. Chapter 8

#8

A/N: Duh Duh Duh Duh it's time for the talk

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When I saw him I felt a new wave of pain hit. He didn't let his face show it but I saw it in his eyes that he was happy to see me.

"Where's the kid?" he asked once he was seated.

"He's at Lyla and Opie's. We need to talk Happy," I told him.

"What about? Something wrong with Ma?" he questioned tone laced with worry.

"Last I talked to her she was fine. I had a visitor yesterday after I dropped Vic off at school," I began feeling my heart in chest and my throat get tighter.

"Who?"

"Her name is Carrie, she's pregnant Happy and she says it's yours. Before you say it could be some random whore at the club I already checked. She's a waitress at a diner outside of Bakersfield and she's not one of the club sluts. The last time you went and visited your Mother is when the child was conceived. Do you remember when that was?" I asked keeping my face blank.

I watched as the realization slowly came to him. He remembered who and when and where I was talking about. When he looked at me his eyes were filled with regret and pain.

"Lela, I'm . . ." he began.

"Don't Happy please just don't. I've spent the last couple of days trying to figure out what to do but seeing you realize that you created a child with another woman while ours was dead. I just . . . I don't know if I can do this anymore Happy," I told him as I felt a tear roll down my face.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I can handle you putting your dick into other pussy because even though we never talked about it we both knew that any of your kids were going to be ours. You always came home to me no matter how late and I diluted myself into thinking that was some sort of loyalty. But this, seeing that woman carrying your child it just broke something inside of me."

"Lela baby I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen, you have to believe me," he begged.

"I do and I guess that hurts more. You didn't even try with this woman and yet you got her pregnant. But we've been trying for years and nothing."

"This doesn't change how I feel."

"That may be true but it's changed a lot about how I look at you. I love you and I always will Happy, but it's just . . . I can't do this anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"The rest of your sentence I'm going to take the time to think about things. I'll have someone bring Vic up when they can, but I won't be coming back."

"Because some gash says I got her pregnant?"

"That and you were screwing someone else while I was having yet another miscarriage and I needed you. I don't ask you for much Happy and I never have, I think that's why we have lasted so long. But I needed you as I sat in that bath tub and just bled out. I needed you to be there to tell me that it would be okay and that you loved me even though I lost yet another one of our babies. So I'm going to go, Vic will be up next weekend," I told him before walking out of the visitation room.

I ignored the pain in my chest till I got in my care. I couldn't believe I had just told him that. I had only been with him since I was eighteen I didn't know how to not be with him.

I spent the silent drive forcing my tears back inside. I didn't need to look like how I felt, not till I got Vic and we went back home. Pulling up to Lyla's house I saw a couple of bikes, sighing I got out and went to the front door.

"Hello?" I called out as I walked in.

"Vic your Mom's here," I heard Opie call out.

"How was the visit?" Opie questioned as he walked into the hallway.

"It was a visit. Why does it matter?" I asked crossing my arms against my chest.

"Lyla told me some of what happened."

"No offense but this isn't any of your business. My marriage and anything having to do with it are mine and Happy's business not yours or the clubs," I told him as Vic came running up.

"Mama," he yelled running up to me.

"Hi baby. Let's go home," I said giving him a smile as I grabbed his hand.

"Tell Lyla I said thanks for watching him for me," I told Opie before we walked out the door.

"Did you have fun baby?" I asked Vic as we walked to the car.

"Yeah, we played video games. Piper and Kenny are better than me though," he said as I opened his door and he got in.

"Well they are older than you baby. Besides you beat me at video games when we play," I told him with a smile before closing the door.

The short drive home Vic told me about his day. It was something as simple as that that made me smile. Hearing my son talk about his day and how he played video games with the boys and house with Ellie. Pulling up to the house I felt a little lighter about my decision with Happy.

"Mama can I play in the sprinkler?" he asked as we walked inside the house.

"Sure go change baby and I'll set it up," I told him as I sat my purse on the kitchen counter.

Hearing him run to his room I grabbed my cigarettes and lighter from my purse and walked to the sliding glass backdoor. Opening it I sat them on the table by my chair and walked to the water spigot turning it on before I walked back inside to get Vic a towel.

"You ready baby?" I asked as I grabbed a towel from the hall closet.

"Yeah!" he yelled running past me to the backyard.

Walking through the kitchen I got a beer and listened as my phone started to ring. Looking at my purse I sighed and grabbed the piece of technology. I saw that it was the prison and pressed ignore.

Going back outside I sat on the chair as Vic ran through the sprinkler and lit a cigarette. Breathing in I let the smoke fill my lungs before I blew out.

"Mama can we have chicken nuggets for dinner?" he asked after an hour.

"Baby it's only four. You still have a couple hours till dinner time," I told him as I lit my fourth cigarette.

"But can we have them?" he asked leaning into me.

"Yes we can. Are you done with the sprinkler?" I asked him as I looked over his body trying to see if he needed more sunscreen.

"Yeah. Can we get a puppy?" he asked as I wrapped him up in a towel.

"Why a puppy?" I asked laughing at his randomness.

"Because Peter from school got one because his Daddy left him too," he replied as I turned him to face me.

"Baby your Daddy is coming back. Peter's situation is a bit different than yours," I told him as I rubbed his shoulders.

"Daddy still left though."

"But Daddy is coming back Vic. He loves you very much and if he could he'd be right here with us. But if you still want the dog I will look into it," I told him before kissing his forehead.

Stubbing out the cigarette I got up and grabbed my phone which had long been turned off and the pack of cigarettes and lighter.

"Let's go inside and you will shower and I'll put some after sun on you," I told him as I opened the door.

After the shower and lotion I turned on some cartoons and went to start the oven. Grabbing the cigarettes and lighter again I went back outside this time leaving the door open so that I could hear the oven go off.

As I took a drag I heard the back gate open.

"Well your alive," I heard Gemma say.

"What do you want Gemma?" I asked after blowing out the smoke.

"People have been trying to call you. Apparently your little chat with your husband caused some shit. Care to explain?" she asked sitting down next to me.

"Why does it matter? You're here to tell me to stop being selfish and to be a good old lady and be there for my man while he's on the inside, am I right?" I questioned with raised eyebrows as I looked at her and brought the cigarette back to my lips.

"Something like that." She said smirking at me.

"Well my husband can go to hell for all care. He's in deep shit and needs to learn to deal with it by himself," I told her as I blew out and tapped away the ash.

"What'd he do baby?" she finally asked after a quiet pause.

"Got another bitch pregnant. So your speech you can shove it, I can tolerate a lot of shit from him and I have over the years. But this, this is something I have to ask myself if I can deal with. Can you take Vic down there next weekend?" I asked bringing the cigarette back to my lips.

"I'll work something out. You know what you're going to do yet about the other bitch and the kid?"

"It happened while he was at his mom's the week I had my miscarriage. I told him I'm not seeing him till after he gets out, I have to think about this shit Gemma. I mean this might just be what breaks us," I told her.

Before she could respond the oven beeped and I went inside to make the chicken nuggets. After the timer was set I went back outside with a beer in hand.

"I'm going to get going baby. Next time Clay calls I'll tell him to let Hap know you're thinking through shit," she said getting up and walking back to the gate.

Hearing it open and close I sat there looking at the single tree in the back yard. I sat there drinking beer and staring till the timer went off again.


	9. Chapter 9

#9

A/N: Just a little babble real quick. First I am so insanely happy that you all love this story. I did not expect this many people to be so into it. Second I was considering some of Lela's outfits up on my tumblr and maybe do Vic's too, I'm not sure I just had the thought pop into my head last night while I couldn't sleep. Let me know what you all think.

Enjoy the story.

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Happy's POV:

Watching her walk away was like a sucker punch. I knew I had fucked up as soon as she said 'Happy', she didn't do 'Happy' it was 'Hap' or 'Big Man'. As the guard took me away I felt the weight of her words _'she's pregnant Happy and she says it's yours'._

There was nothing left in her eyes. She was empty, I had broken her. Of all the stupid shit I could of done I did this.

When I got back to my cell I looked at Tig who sitting on his bunk.

"How was the kid?" he asked looking up at me.

"Didn't come," I answered sitting on my bunk.

"I thought she always brought the kid?" he questioned.

"She's leaving me."

"What do you mean leaving you?" he yelled sitting up and staring me in the eyes.

"What I just fucking said. The bitch is leaving me."

"Hey watch it fucker that's my niece you're talking about."

"Why do you care she ain't your kid?" I asked getting annoyed.

"The fuck does that have to with anything? We both know that doesn't mean shit. You raise them, you love them, they're your kid asshole," he replied forcing his finger in my chest.

We both stood there, neither wanting to give in on the argument. It wasn't till we heard people walking towards us that we both sat back down on our bunks.

Looking at my wall I was forced to look at what I had to loose. They had inadvertently become everything. Now I was losing everything.


	10. Chapter 10

#10

A/N: I know the last one was way short but I thought that I should touch on the whole Happy thing, I mean the man is helpless to try and keep his family together. I may do a longer one later like when he gets out, not sure yet. But back to Lela.

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2 months later:

I woke up to the same thing I had been waking up to for a month. Both of the little pitbull's licking my face to get me up. Groaning I opened my eyes to see a small grey and white brindle puppy and a chocolate and white puppy standing on my bed and I hear Vic giggling from the doorway.

"Did you put them up here?" I asked sitting up.

"Maybe," he replied with a mischievous smile.

"Why are the puppies on my bed baby?" I asked bringing my knees up to my chest as the puppies started to wrestle.

"Because there's someone at the door. You said not to answer the door and to get you or Daddy. The puppies helped," he explained as he crawled on to the bed.

"Okay well get the puppies a chew toy and I'll get dressed and see who's at the door," I told him trying to get him out of the room when I realized I was in a thong and a t-shirt.

"Buzz, Jesse lets go," Vic yelled jumping off the bed and running out of the room.

"Don't run with your socks on," I yelled after him as I got out of bed and walked to the hamper grabbing the first pair of shorts I could grab.

Sighing I grabbed the gun from my dresser drawer and went to the front door.

Looking through the peep hole I saw a blonde man in a kut.

"What?" I questioned with an annoyed tone.

"Pleasure to see you too sunshine," Kozik said with a smile.

"What do you want it's early and I have a kid and two dogs," I told him as I stood in the door way.

"It's been a while since you've been down to see Hap. You coming with the kid today?" he asked.

"No I'm not and I want to shoot you for suggesting I do. I'm guessing you got Vic today?" I questioned as I walked back into the house.

"I did and from what I hear Hap's been real quick on the temper these days. Think that may have something to do with your mystery chat?" he asked after he closed the door behind him as he followed me into the kitchen.

"Coffee?" I asked as I put a new filter in the machine.

"Sure. Care to answer the question?" he asked sitting at the table.

"What we talked about is between us. If he's being stupid again then that's his problem, I'm not always going to be there to pick up after him," I told him as I scooped coffee grounds into the machine and started it.

"So the rumors are true then. You're leaving him?" he questioned in surprise.

"Why do you care? Why is my marriage and the state of it suddenly everyone's concern? It wasn't when I was the one being hurt over and over again, when it was me it was just something I was told to get used to. But him oh as soon as it starts to hurt him everyone wants to know what's going on and what was said," I said as I got the dogs food in their bowls.

"Are you going to see him or not?" he asked rubbing his face with his hand.

"Tell him to kiss my ass. He gets to suffer the consequences for his bullshit. He doesn't like that he should of thought about that before he stuck his dick in that waitress," I said as I poured myself a cup of coffee and stirred in the milk.

"Look we get it. But a guy like Happy he needs something on the outside to keep him in line. That's where you come in, so just see the guy already it's been two months."

"Would you go see your wife if she got pregnant by another man while you were still married and you were happily fucking each other?" I questioned already knowing the answer.

When he didn't answer I smirked and nodded my head before taking a sip. Before either of us could begin to talk again Vic and the puppies came running in to the kitchen.

"Kozik are you taking me to see Daddy?" Vic asked with a smile.

"Yeah buddy. I was trying to get your Mom to come with us."

"Are you Mama?" Vic asked turning to look at me with his big brown eyes.

"No baby. I have to work today and I have to take the puppies to the vet. But I will be here when you get back," I told him kissing his head.

"Work on a Saturday?" Kozik asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah I'm looking at buying a new company, it's just some preliminary shit right now. If you want breakfast there's cereal, some frozen waffles and Vic can show you where the hidden poptarts are if you don't want that," I said before taking my mug and walking back to my room.

Once I was in there I turned on my stereo and changed into the dress I chose for my meeting. A black dress with red roses printed on it and a deep enough v neck to look sexy but clasps just under the breasts to make it still work appropriate. Walking to the closet I put on a pair of simple black lace up heels. After I tied the heels I looked at my wedding ring. As much as a part of me screamed to take it off and thrown it into the nearest lake or in the ocean there was still that bigger part of me, the part of me that still remembered all the good times we've had over the past decade or so that told me to keep it on.

Leaving my stereo on I walked out of my room cup in hand before setting it on the kitchen counter.

"Vic you need to go shower if you are seeing your Dad today," I told him as I watched him watch the TV.

"But Mama the cartoon was just getting good," he whined turning in his chair to face him.

"You heard your mom little man. Go shower for your Dad," Kozik said turning off the TV.

"Oh man I never get to finish my cartoons," Vic mumbled as he got out of his chair and walked past me.

When I heard him close the bathroom door I looked back at Kozik.

"Thanks," I said before walking to the fridge to get a bottle of water.

"What company are you going to buy?" he asked when I turned back to him.

"Why do you want to know?" I questioned crossing my arms against my chest.

"Just figured Hap would like to know what his old lady is up to."

"Like I said he can kiss my ass. Keep my kid safe and remember he's not to be on any motorcycles just cars or trucks and he better have a seatbelt on and his booster seat."

"I know the rules you made it very clear the first weekend."

"Well he's my baby and I need to know he'll be safe," I said with a sigh.

"He will be. You sure you don't want to come? I'm not talking about to see Hap I mean for Vic."

"I'm sure Kozik. This is a fucked up mess he got himself into and I have to consider a lot of shit now than before. Just tell Hap I said to keep safe and be smart, Vic needs him around," I told Kozik before walking out of the kitchen.

Grabbing a clean towel from the hall closet I went into the bathroom and placed it on the counter for Vic. Going into his room I went through his dresser to pick out his outfit. Laying out a plain white t-shirt and a pair of dark denim shorts I began looking for his little sneakers when I heard small wet footsteps walking down the hall and into the room.

Looking at the doorway I saw a naked Vic standing there wearing the towel like a cape.

"Vic baby the towel is to dry off with not to wear as a cape," I said walking over to him and closing the door behind him.

"But I'm superman Mama," he replied with a smile his wet hair sticking to his face and neck.

"Well right now you have to be dressed and ready to go see Daddy. So come here," I said sitting down on the floor leaning against his bed.

"Do you not like Daddy?" he asked as I dried off his legs.

"Why do you say that baby?" I asked stopping.

"You don't go with me to see him no more."

"Baby there's a lot of complicated adult stuff going on. Besides I usually work when you're with Daddy so that when you aren't at school I can be free to do whatever with you. Now get dressed so that Kozik can take you to go see Daddy," I told him before standing up and walking out of his room.


	11. Chapter 11

#11

A/N: So I wasn't originally going to write this but while working on this other chapter I had the idea so I thought why not.

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I couldn't be happier with Vic being in school. I needed time to think, time to figure out if I could still be with Happy.

I had always known he cheated, I mean the man was twenty years older than me. He'd been fucking around longer than I had been alive. But this, this was different than screwing some other woman.

Getting up from the couch I walked to the kitchen and got a beer. Looking down I saw Buzz looking at me with begging eyes

"Sorry buddy but you can't have this."

Before I could go back to my spot my cell phone started to ring.

"Hello?" I asked annoyed at someone interrupting my thinking.

"Hey Lela it's Tara."

"Uh hi. What can I do for you?" I asked confused.

"I just thought that you should know the woman Carrie Brady, she was brought in a couple days ago."

"And why are you calling me about her Tara?"

"Gemma told me about her and Happy. I just thought that you might want to know she had the baby the other day. She wanted to do a DNA test yesterday and with Happy being in the system."

"She doesn't need him to consent to it. Do you know when the results are going to be in?" I asked feeling the tears start to form.

"That's why I'm calling. I was put in charge of her case and I have the results. I already told her and she said it was okay to tell you, that you'd find out sooner or later."

"Jesus. Uh sure yeah tell me. Why not find out if my marriage is over," I said sitting down on the floor.

"I'm so sorry Lela. But the baby is Happy's. Do you want to come down and see her?"

"Her? He had a little girl?" I asked feeling the tears roll down my face.

"Yeah. Look I can call the prison and see if they'll tell him. You don't have to."

"No, no. He call's after Vic gets home from school, so in an hour or so. So I'll just tell him then. Thanks I guess, uh talk to you later Tara," I said before hanging up.

I sat there silently crying. I knew it was coming but nothing could prepare myself for it. I just choked on sob after sob.

That was it final nail in the coffin. I couldn't do it, I had nothing left to give the man. He had officially taken everything I had.

Getting up I left the phone and the beer on the kitchen counter. I walked into the bedroom and opened the closet. I was face to face with Happy's clothes. I grabbed them all and threw them on the floor.  
by the time I had his stuff in pile and packed into boxes Vic was running inside home from school.

"Has Daddy called?" he asked with a smile as he came into the room.

"Not yet baby. The phone is on the counter in the kitchen though, so you can go wait for him to call while you have an apple."

Smiling he ran off down the hall.

Not five minutes later I heard the phone ring. Walking into the kitchen I smiled as I saw Vic smiling as he talked to his Dad. After a bit I went to let the dogs outside. When I came back in the kitchen Vic smiled at me with the biggest smile he could get.

"Mama Daddy wants to talk to you," he said handing me the phone.

"Hello," I said as Vic ran off.

"Hey."

"I got a call today about that waitress. She had the baby Happy, it's yours she already ran the DNA. Congrats you have a little girl."

"Shit babe. I'm sorry."

"I don't need your apologies Happy. Just have Gemma look into an apartment for you when you get out, I already packed up your stuff and Vic nots staying with you at the clubhouse and I doubt the waitress will want her baby around all that. Look I have to go Vic needs help with his homework and the dogs want back in."

"So it's over just like that?"

"Yeah it is. Just be safe Hap, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever," he said before hanging up.


	12. Chapter 12

#12

A/N: And it's time jump time with a bit of flashbacks thrown in for a loop.

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Five months later:

"Today's the day today's the day!" Vic yelled jumping on my bed.

"Victor what did I say about jumping on Mama's bed when she's in it?" I asked looking up at the jumping seven year old.

"Not to. I'm sorry but Daddy's coming home today!" he yelled jumping off the bed and running down the hall.

Both dogs jumped off the bed and ran after him barking.

Groaning I used both hands to cover my face as I thought about having to face Happy and the other's today. I had done well and kept busy enough to avoid people when I could and spend time with Vic when I wanted. After the raid at DNA we took the chance to expand and add a couple extra stages, turns out there would never not be a need for strip clubs. Then I decided that I needed to work more to distract myself from my failing marriage so I bought into a porn studio.

I didn't want to be there today. I didn't want to see him with Vic being fatherly and I definitely didn't want him to look at me with that deep stare that left you wondering what the hell just happened because your mind blank outs. Taking a deep breath I willed myself to get out of bed and make some coffee.

Walking to the kitchen I found Vic sitting in the living room on the coffee table watching cartoons with both dogs at his side.

"Off the coffee table Vic," I yelled as I walked into the kitchen.

" 'Kay," he yelled back.

"What do you want for breakfast baby?" I asked as I put the filter and coffee grounds in the machine.

"Waffles."

"What do you say?" I asked annoyed that he had forgotten what we had gone over for the past two years.

"Please Mama," he yelled back.

"Thank you Victor," I said as I walked to the freezer.

Pulling out the yellow box of frozen waffles I looked inside and saw that there was just enough for Vic and myself to have one each today and tomorrow morning. I really needed to go shopping but I hated going especially in this town. You always seemed to run into the people you wanted to see least in the world and right now there was a shit ton of people on my list.

Popping a couple of waffles into the toaster I went back to the freezer and grabbed the bag of mixed berries and put some in a bowl. Popping that in the microwave to defrost them just enough so that they wouldn't be hard to eat but still firm and frozen. Grabbing a coffee mug I poured myself a cup and sat it on the table at my spot. Picking up a couple of the stone plates I put a waffle on each plate and sat those on the table too.

"Vic come eat," I yelled as I went back to the kitchen to get his milk and the berries.

"Mama is Daddy going to sleep here tonight?" he asked as he sat down.

"I'm not sure baby. You'll have to ask him that later," I said hopefully dodging it.

"Do you think Grandpa Tig will sleep here?"

"I don't think Grandpa Tig will. He's been gone a long time, he has some uh . . . things to catch up on," I explained as best I could.

"Like what?"

"You know when you missed school those couple of weeks and you had homework to make up for when we got back? It's like that only the adult version."

"Eww homework." He said before going back to his breakfast.

"After breakfast you have to go shower okay."

"Do I have to?" he whined.

"Yes, you need to look nice for your Dad and your hair is getting gross buddy. So that means you have to shower."

"But do I have to shower?" he asked with a mouth full of waffle.

"Don't speak with your mouth full Vic and yes you do. You want to show your Dad how big you've gotten don't you?" I asked taking a sip of my coffee.

"Yes," he mumbled.

"Well showering is part of that. Are you excited to see your Dad baby?" I asked knowing full well the answer.

"Yes. I'm going to show him my toys and my pictures and we can play with the dogs. Do you think he'd watch movies with me?" he asked with big eyes.

"Baby I'm sure you can get your Dad to do whatever you want to do. He loves you and he's been gone a long time, he'll want to get to spend as much time with you as he possibly can. Now come on you have to go shower so that I can get ready too," I told him standing up.

"Fine," he mumbled before getting up.

Looking at the dogs in the living room I sighed.

"Come on you hairy beasts. Lets eat," I said before walking back into the kitchen and getting their food bowls from the counter.

Hearing the sounds of claws on wood floor I turned around and smiled. Sitting on the floor I smiled as Jesse ignored me and went to the food but Buzz came to me and started licking my face.

"Oh Buzz you're the only man in my life huh?" I asked smiling at him.

My answer to that question was him turning away and licking Jesse's face.

"And even you have a girlfriend. And I'm all alone now," I said getting up from the floor.

Walking into Vic's room I set out his clothes. It was warm already so I picked out a dark blue tank top with a light grey short sleeve button up and a pair of dark denim shorts. Walking back into my room I saw Buzz and Jesse laying on the bed.

"Why don't you two ever lay on Vic's bed?" I asked them.

After Vic was dressed I quickly got into the shower. As much as I wanted to just stay in the shower I knew I couldn't. I had to go out and face the world and my husband.

Getting out I made sure that Vic was dressed and waiting in the living room.

"Did you put your shoes on?" I asked from the hallway with a towel wrapped around me.

"Yes," he said not turning to face me.

"Do they match?"

"Yes."

Sighing I went back to my room. Once I was dry I picked out my outfit for the day. Black high wasted jeans, low cut on the side grey crop top and a red lacey bralette. As much as I hated the man I still wanted to look good. Smiling I put on a pair of black heels with silver lining all around the sides. Walking back into the bathroom I did the dark smokey eye and bronzer. I had to go to the club after Happy got back so I decided on some grey purple lipstick to finish the look.

"Mama lets go," Vic yelled running into the room.

"I'm done, I'm done. Let the dogs back into the house and I will meet you at the front door."

Before I had even finished my sentence Vic was running back to the living room. Laughing I turned off the light and walked to the kitchen being sure to grab my purse and phone from the counter I waited for Vic.

"Lets go Mama," Vic yelled as he ran out the front door.

"Hey slow down," I yelled after him as I made sure the door was locked.

"I don't want to miss Daddy coming home," he said waiting by his door.

"You won't I promise. Buckle up," I said after I opened his door and he climbed in.

The whole way to the garage Vic couldn't stop talking. I smiled at him before I turned into the parking lot.

When we got there I sighed and got out. I saw Gemma and Tara look at me as I let Vic out of the SUV.

"Come on baby. Let's go wait over here for Daddy," I told him as I steered him to a table as far as possible from Gemma.

If only I had been so lucky as soon as we sat down she came over to us.

"Been awhile since I've seen you around here baby," she said smiling at me as she sat down across from us.

"Yeah well I've been busy. What with the remodel and the uh . . . movies," I said trying not so say porn in front of Vic.

"So I've heard. You good?" she asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"I'm working on it Gemma. My decision has yet to be made final. Did you get the apartment?" I asked raising my own eyebrow.

"He said not to get it yet," she replied before getting up and walking back over to Tara.

A few minutes later the bikes pulled in and I had to grab the back of Vic's tank top to keep him from running to Happy. Once the bikes had stopped I let him go knowing full well where he'd be in two seconds. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked towards them arms crossed.

"There's my baby girl," Tig yelled when he saw me.

"Hey Old Man," I said smiling as we hugged.

"How are you baby?" he whispered as we hugged.

Forcing a smile on my face we pulled apart.

"I'm here. That's all I got right now. How are you?" I asked cupping one of his cheeks.

"I'm glad to be out. Where's the kid?" he asked looking around.

"With his Dad. Woke me up jumping up and down on the bed."

"Go see him baby. I know you don't need to be hearing this from me, but go see him he loves you."

"Jesus Tig not you too. I know that you mean well but there's a lot of shit that I'm guessing you don't know about. I'm going to go get my kid, because you have church and I have a meeting later. Come by the house some time Vic was just asking if you would spend the night tonight. I told him that you had some homework to catch up on," I said smiling at him.

"Homework huh? Well I'm gonna go catch up on my homework then. By baby girl," he said gripping my shoulders with a smile before walking away.

Sighing I looked over at Happy. He was standing holding Vic watching me as Vic was talking to him.

Walking towards them I felt my stomach drop. Despite everything seeing him there standing and holding our son I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms.

"Hey baby," I said to Vic when I reached them.

"Mama Daddy says he's coming home tonight," Vic said excitedly with a smile that lit up his whole face.

"Oh he did. Well Daddy has a wedding to go to tonight if I'm not mistaken," I said crossing my arms against my chest.

"I know. Wanna be my date?" he asked with a smirk.

Sighing I looked at Vic and knew I couldn't say no to him in front of Vic.

"Why not. Could use a good excuse to wear this new dress I got," I said smirking back at him.


	13. Chapter 13

#13

A/N: I love that you guys keep reviewing. Please continue to do it, I love reading them it's what I look forward to after I post a chapter. Now it's time for the wedding.

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"Mama where are you going?" Vic asked as he sat on the closed toilet watching me curl my hair.

"I'm going out with your Daddy baby. Lyla and Opie are getting married remember?" I asked him as I turned to face him.

"Oh yeah. Can I go?"

"No baby. Amber's coming over to watch you and the dogs. I won't be there long, I'll be back to tuck you in and read you a story," I told him as I sat down the curling iron.

"I want Daddy to read to me."

"Well I don't know if Daddy will be able to," I told him before I heard the front door open.

Straightening up I looked at the doorway.

"Stay here baby," I told Vic as I walked out of the bathroom.

Slowly walking down the hall I waited to hear the dogs. Not hearing anything continued. Sighing I saw Happy and Buzz staring at each other.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked crossing my arms against my chest.

"It's home. What's with the dogs?" he asked not taking his eyes off Buzz.

"Vic wanted a puppy and I wanted one too so we got two. And why are you here Hap? I told you not to."

"Where else am I supposed to go then Lela?" he asked finally looking at me.

It wasn't till I saw the look on his face that I realized what I wearing. A white cami and a pair of black spandex shorts.

"I don't know maybe the clubhouse?"

"Why when I have a house and a family?"

"You know what I don't have time for this, I got out of my meeting late and I still need to finish getting ready. Your stuff is in the garage, if you can find a nice shirt you can shower and the steam will help take the wrinkles out," I told him before turning back to the bathroom.

When I got in there I saw Vic standing in the doorway with a big smile on his face.

"Go see your Dad baby," I told him with a small smile.

Sighing I went back to trying to get ready. But I kept getting distracted I could hear Vic and Happy talking together and it made me smile. No matter how much I might hate Happy I loved that he was there for Vic. It wasn't till I heard Happy clear his throat that I realized I had zoned out.

"Why are you putting that crap on your face?" he asked from the doorway.

"Because it makes me feel pretty. Why ask now I've been putting this shit on since before we dated?" I asked as I went back to touching up my makeup.

"You don't need that to be pretty," he said wrapping an arm around my stomach.

"What are you doing Hap?" I asked putting down my eyeshadow.

"I'm saying nice things to my wife what's it look like I'm doing?" he asked before kissing my cheek.

"Happy. This is not a tell me I'm pretty and shower sex kind of make up. I'm going to go start getting dressed while you shower," I said patting his hand before pulling away.

"I'm trying here Lela. I'm really trying. I don't want to lose you and the kid," he said grabbing my hand.

"I've had to deal with a lot of shit from you Happy. I don't know what's going to happen. But it means a lot that you are trying. I just have to try and figure out how I feel about everything. I mean if this had been me would you be so all for use getting back together and playing happy family?"

"No one's touching my shit Lela. I don't care what happens, no one's touching you or replacing me," he said in a low voice that would of made any other person shrink.

"That is not what I'm talking about, believe it or not you're still the only man I've been with since I was eighteen. What I was talking about is that you wouldn't know what to do with the fact that I had something so deep as a child with another man, that no matter how much you loved me you wouldn't know if you could get past that little fact. I have to go get my dress on and finish my hair," I said before walking to back to my room.

Closing the door behind me I held my breath as I waited to hear the shower turn on. When I heard the water start running I breathed a sigh of relief and let my head rest against the door. Walking over to the closet I pulled out the red wine colored double slit maxi dress.I had originally bought it to wear to a party at the studio but Vic had come home from school sick that day so I stayed with him, now I figure a porn star biker wedding was just as good a place as any to wear it.

Sighing I hung it on the doorway before I looked in the mirror on top of the dresser. Shaking my head I tried to make the curls as messy as possible before I started to braid them into a short braid that was enough to keep the hair at bay but still have it over the shoulder.

"Mama," Vic said from behind the door.

"Yes baby," I said walking to the door.

"What's for dinner?" he asked as I opened the door.

"I'm leaving money for Amber to call for some pizza. Anything else?"

"Can I have poptarts?"

"No it's bad enough you are having pizza baby. If you're hungry have an apple or an orange they are in the fridge."

"Never mind then," he mumbled before walking away.

Sighing I closed the door only to have it opened again by a half-naked Happy walking into the room.

"Can I help you?" I asked as I took off my shorts.

"No just getting dressed," he said from his spot on the bed.

"Why are you getting dressed in here?" I asked turning my back to him before I took my shirt off.

"Because I like the view. That what you're wearing?" he asked raising an eyebrow at the dress.

"Yes it is. I bought like a month ago for an event and never got to wear it," I explained as I got the dress off its hanger.

"Can't wait to see it on you," he said smirking before he started to get dressed himself.

"You say that now," I said smirking back at him.

We each got dressed in silence neither saying anything. This was the closest to any type of normality that we had experienced since before he went inside. I both loved and hated it, I loved it because it meant that he was back and I hated it because it meant that he was back.

After I slipped the dress on I walked back over to the mirror to make sure everything was in its place. Satisfied I went to the bed and sat down as I put on the gold strappy heels I chose to go with the dress.

"I always liked that color on you," Happy said as he watched me.

"What?" I asked looking up at him confused.

"The dress," he pointed at.

"Oh, thanks. You ready?" I asked standing up.

"Fucking hell your killing me Lela," Happy said with a smile as he checked me out.

"You don't look so bad yourself Big Man," I said smiling at him as I fixed his shirt collar.

After Amber got to the house I kissed Vic goodbye and got into the SUV. I waited to pull out for Happy to leave first. The drive to the reservation was a nerve wrecking and calming experience. Pulling up I saw the police outside the reservation and sighed. When I parked I made sure my makeup was still in place before grabbing my phone and keys and getting out of the car. As I was locking it Happy came up to me and wrapped an arm around my waist. I knew it was just a sign to the other people there but it still had a conflicting feeling happen. Shaking my head I sat down and tried to not let the confusion that was my marriage come into the wedding.

After the ceremony we all walked to the reception and couldn't keep a smile off my face. But that soon disappeared when I saw Happy leave. Sighing I stood up and went to find Lyla.

"Hey Lyla," I said smiling at her.

"Lela, I'm so happy you and Happy came. How is everything?" she asked with a smiled bigger than one I had ever seen on her face,

"It's all so beautiful sweetie. I'm so happy for you and Opie. I hate to go but Happy just left and I figure Vic should have one parent home. Who knows when or if Hap's coming home tonight. But I just wanted to stop by before I left," I said before pulling her into a hug.

"It's okay I get it. Tell Vic I said hi and that Piper misses him. Excuse me," she said before walking to someone else.

Looking around I smiled. Everything seemed so calm and that was a scary thing. Shaking my head again I walked back to my car and left the reservation.


	14. Chapter 14

#14

A/N: And here is the long awaited news about the baby.

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After I had put Vic to bed I stood in the hallway trying to decide if I should wait up for Happy. It was hard to break away from something that I had always done. I knew that I shouldn't, that I needed to make it clear to him now that he was out that I wasn't just going to forgive him so quickly if ever. But I still had a part of me that loved him, that wanted our family to stay together because Vic deserved that much.

Sighing I walked to the bedroom and took off my dress. Sitting on the bed I took off my heels and breathed a sigh of relief when they came off. No matter how much I loved them the feeling of taking them off was almost orgasmic.

After I changed into the cami and spandex shorts from earlier I crawled under the blankets and tried to sleep. It didn't work, I laid there staring at Happy's side of the bed waiting. I didn't know if I was waiting for sleep or for him to come home.

I woke up to the bathroom light being turned on the door closing. Shifting in bed I figured it was just Vic till I heard the water running in the shower. Getting up I walked down the hall and opened the door. After being briefly blinded by it my eyes refocused and I saw Happy's clothes laying on the floor. Shaking my head I closed the door and went back to bed.

I was half asleep when I felt the blankets being lifted and a dip in the bed. I smelled his body wash and breathed it in, it had been a long time since I had smelled it. When he brought his arm back around me I opened my eyes.

"You good?" I asked as my eyes focused in the dark.

"Yeah."

"Vic has school tomorrow so we can talk tomorrow," I told him.

"Come on," he said rubbing my hip before getting up again.

"Where are you going?" I asked as he pulled me up and out of bed.

"Just move it," he said before holding my hips as we walked down the hall.

Sighing I continued to walk. When we stopped he moved the coffee table and walked over to the stereo.

"Hap what are you doing?" I asked as I watched him look through the cds on the shelf.

"Just wait," he said as he put a cd in.

Walking back over to me he grabbed the remote and pressed play. It wasn't till the beginning notes of the guitar started to play that I realized what song was playing.

"Hap," I said with a sad smile.

"Come on," he said grabbing my hand and pulling me to the middle of the floor.

Smiling I looked up at him as Jayson Belt's voice began to come through the speakers.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he took my hand and we started to sway in our spot.

"I'm showing I care."

"Babe you've never done this before. Hell I don't think I've heard you listen to this song since our wedding," I told him as I moved my arms to wrap around his neck.

When he moved his hands to wrap around he look down at me and sighed.

"I know I fucked up Lela. But I meant what I said earlier. I'm not giving up. We are what matters."

Sighing I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to talk about this right now Hap. We will talk about this in the morning okay?" I asked.

"Yeah whatever you want," he replied nodding his head.

"Do you wish we had done it differently?" Happy asked after the song started over again.

"Done what differently?" I asked confused.

"The wedding, I mean ours was nothing like Ope's and Lyla's."

"No. Ours was us Hap. I loved that it was us and your Mom and Tig," I said smiling.

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 _I was pacing the living room of Happy's mom's house waiting for Tig to answer his phone. When I got his voicemail for the tenth time I sighed._

" _Alexander you had better get your ass here. This is my wedding you fucker and I need you there like you promised. Don't you fucking miss this moment you dickhead," I yelled into the phone._

 _Closing the phone I heard a chuckle from behind me. Turning around I saw Happy leaning on the couch smiling at me._

" _What are your laughing about?" I asked crossing my arms against my chest in frustration._

" _He's gonna be here babe don't worry," he replied._

" _Oh yeah well why isn't here then? We have thirty minutes Hap and he's not here. He's all I have, I need him here for this."_

" _He's gonna be here. But if you want to leave more threatening messages then go ahead," he said before sitting on the couch._

" _How do you know he's going to be here? I haven't heard from him since last night when he promised he'd be here. I get we don't talk a lot but still he raised me, I need him here," I said feeling the tears start to form._

" _Don't start crying now okay? He'll be here," Happy said getting up and hugging me._

" _Fucking kid messing with my hormones already," I said laughing at myself as I wiped the tears._

" _At least it's a good reason," he replied as we pulled away._

" _I still don't have to like it. I guess I should start get ready. We're gonna do this even if Tig doesn't get here in time."_

 _Before anyone could say anything we heard a bike pull up. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. Walking to the front door I opened the door and waited for Tig to come on the porch._

" _About fucking time asshole," I said throwing my arms around him._

" _Whoa. Hey there pregers. Did you not think I'd be here?" he asked chuckling as he wrapped his arms around me._

" _Well we start in thirty minutes and I hadn't heard from you since last night. I didn't think you were going to come," I told him as new tears were forming as we pulled away._

" _Hey I wouldn't miss my baby girl's wedding for anything. Now go get dressed and fix yourself up," he said before kissing me on the forehead._

" _God you're an asshole," I mumbled as I walked away from him._

 _Walking into the kitchen I smiled as I saw Happy's mom Nora standing at the stove._

" _What are you making?" I asked walking in._

" _Just some soup. Your Uncle here?" she asked turning to face me._

" _Yeah he just got here. I just wanted to thank you for letting us do this here Nora."_

" _It's no problem baby. I will admit I wasn't too excited when he brought you home, with the age difference and all. But seeing you two together over the years, it's made me proud to be his mother. You've changed him baby, it may not seem like but you have. Now go get dressed the preacher will be here any minute," she said smiling at me before turning back to the stove._

 _Walking into Happy's old bedroom I got the long white flowy maxi dress out of the closet and laid it on the bed. After I put it on there was a knock on the door, scrambling I hid behind the door._

" _Who is it?" I yelled._

" _I need my shirt," Happy replied from the other side._

" _Hold on a sec," I yelled as I went looking for it._

" _Just let me come in and get it," he yelled as he opened the door a little._

" _Happy Victor Lowman you open that fucking door I will shoot you. I have your shirt now close the damn door and I will hand it to you," I yelled with his shirt in hand._

" _Jesus woman. It's just a damn dress," he yelled as he closed the door._

" _It's bad luck to see the bride asshole. Now here's your shirt," I told him as I cracked open the door._

" _Yeah if you were so superstitious then we wouldn't have done what we did last night," he mumbled taking the shirt._

" _Fine do you not want to see the black lacy thing I got for tonight?" I asked poking my head out from behind the door._

" _You're evil," he said smirking before we kissed._

" _You love it. Now go I have to finish getting ready," I said smiling as we pulled away._

 _I sat on Happy's bed waiting for Tig to come get me. I could hear Nora yelling at Happy to get dressed._

 _When there was a knock I sighed._

" _Happy I swear to god I will not put on that black lacy thing you like so much," I yelled as I walked to the door._

" _Jesus kid ever hear of too much information?" Tig asked smiling at me._

" _I've said worse and I know you've done worse. Is it time?" I asked leaning against the door._

" _Yeah baby girl it is. You ready?" he asked._

" _Yeah I am. Jesus we need to get this over with before the kid makes me cry again," I said feeling the tears form._

" _God you really are pregnant," Tig said laughing at me as we walked down the hallway._

 _We stopped at the back door._

" _You sure about this kid? I mean we can make a break for it if you want, you don't have to do this," Tig said turning to me._

" _I'm sure Tig. I love him, god help me I love him. Thanks though, for everything. But especially for walking me, it means a lot," I said smiling at him._

" _Not a problem baby girl. Now lets get you married," he said as we stepped outside._

 _When we got to the lawn Tig gave me to Happy and I kissed him on the cheek. As we stood there the sun went down. It was perfect, just the two of us and the most important people in our lives besides each other. After our vows we said 'I do' and he pulled me into kiss so deep I felt it everywhere._

 _Pulling a part we both smiled as we put the simple silver rings on each other._

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"Hey you there?" Happy asked as we stood in the middle of the living room.

"Yeah big man. I was just thinking about our wedding," I said smiling at him.

"Yeah anything good?" he asked smiling back at me.

"Do you remember that day?" I asked him.

"Everything about it baby. Why?"

"I hadn't thought about it in a while is all. I don't regret that day Hap, I mean we did a lot of shit wrong but not that. I don't think I could ever regret it," I told him as I felt the tears start to roll down my face.

Silently we stopped where we were and he used his thumbs to wipe away the tears. Holding my face on either side he brought my lips to his. The kiss held so much in it. Anger, fear, passion, and love.

After a beat I kissed him back. His hands moved lower as he went past my butt and grabbed my thighs. Not missing a beat I jumped and wrapped my legs around him.

I don't know how but we made it to the bed without making any noise. When we landed on the bed he moved to my neck and brought a hand to my waistband.

"Either do something or move that hand big man," I gasped.

He let out a throaty growl a nipped at my neck before moving his hand.

"That enough movement for you?" he asked as he dipped a finger in.

"Fuck," I mumbled as he brought his lips back to mine.

"It's gonna be a long night baby," he said with a smirk.


	15. Chapter 15

#15

A/N: the wrong note was put on the last chapter. So sorry but here is when we find out about the baby.

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The next morning I woke up to my alarm going off signaling that I had to get up and start getting Vic up and ready for school. I laid there thinking about the events of last night and silently cursed myself. I didn't want to sleep with Happy, well I mean I wanted to, but not now not when he had just gotten out and had left me at the wedding.

Getting up I looked around for my clothes from last night and quickly put them on. Walking out of the room I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I was holding. I couldn't believe that I had been so stupid, I mean I was still hurt over the fact that he had a baby with another woman. Turning on the lights as I walked to the kitchen I was still confused. I made the coffee as I put a waffle in the toaster for Vic.

Walking back down the hall I opened Vic's door and looked at him as he slept in his bed. His limbs spread out and the blanket half kicked off on to the floor and half covering him. Sighing I walked towards him. Since school had started he had begun to become more like me in the mornings, meaning it always took a good portion of the morning to get him actually ready for school.

"Vic baby come on time to get up," I said softly shaking his shoulder.

All I got was some mumbling and him moving his head.

"Come on little man I have a waffle in the toaster and some juice in the fridge. You have to go to school today."

"No wanna," he mumbled.

"No one wants to go to school baby but we all have to. So either get up now or I will carry you into the kitchen," I told him before turning on his bedroom light.

Mumbling he just moved his head lower into what blankets he had left on the bed.

Shaking my head I went back into the kitchen and put the done waffle on a plate before spreading peanut butter on it and cutting it up. Setting it on the table I went back to Vic's room.

"Okay Vic come on," I said as I picked up the blanket and put it at the end of his bed.

"I don't want to," he whined.

"I know, but come on," I said picking him up out of his bed and setting him on the floor.

"To early Mama," he whined again as he stood there.

"Trust me baby I know. Come on lets go eat breakfast," I told him as I put my hands on his shoulders.

As we walked into the kitchen I heard Happy start to wake up. Pushing Vic into his chair in front of his waffle I handed him a fork and began to make my coffee. By the time Happy had emerged from the bedroom with a pair of light grey sweatpants hanging low on his body, Vic was dressed and ready for school and about to leave for the bus.

"Daddy you're here," he said excitedly when Happy walked into the kitchen and threw himself around Happy.

"Hey kid," he said wrapping an arm around Vic.

"I have to go to school but are you going to be here when I get out?" Vic asked looking up at Happy.

"Yeah kid, I'll be here. We'll go out after you get home okay," he promised looking down at the little boy.

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now go catch the bus, you aren't missing school two days in a row," Happy said patting Vic on the back.

"You heard your Dad baby. You better go before you miss the bus," I told him before taking a drink of coffee.

"Bye Mama, bye Daddy," Vic said smiling before running out the door.

"The kid have lunch?" Happy asked as he poured himself some coffee.

"Yeah he gets lunch at school. Why are you making promises to him again Hap?" I asked leaning against the counter as I watched him.

"What do you mean?" he asked as he leaned against the counter across from me.

"I mean you just got out and you're already telling him that you are going to be here when he gets home and that you'll spend time with him."

"And where am I gonna be Lela?"

"Not here Happy. I told you while you were inside that you need to find some other place because you can't be here."

"So what was last night?"

"What it doesn't feel so good being used as a cheap sex toy? A trip down memory lane isn't going to make everything better. It was a nice lay but that doesn't mean we're getting back together, you still majorly fucked up."

"Fuck Lela. I don't know what to do anymore then," he said putting his coffee cup on the counter.

"What are you going to do about your little girl Hap?" I asked quietly.

"Fuck if I know. The bitch wants to move to Oregon or some shit," he said rubbing his face with both hands.

"Do you know her name at least?" I asked almost regretting it as soon as I had asked.

"Yeah she named her Mia. So you're really kicking me out?" he asked looking up at me.

"What else do I have to do Happy? Besides I want you to get to know your little girl we both know what it's like not to have a dad around and I don't think I could have her around if you were still here."

"Your too good for me you know that?" he asked pushing himself off the counter.

"Yeah big man I do. Your stuff is in the garage pick it up whenever you find a place. You can come by for dinner whenever and you can have Vic on the weekends," I told him as I wrapped and rewrapped my hands around the coffee cup.

"I'll start looking then," he said before kissing me on the cheek.

"I'm going to go shower and get ready for work," I told him before walking out of the room.

Locking the bathroom door behind me I waited till there was hot water pouring out of the shower head. Once I was inside I let all the tears I had been holding in free. It was the end, the end of my family, the end of my marriage, the end of everything I knew and loved.


	16. Chapter 16

#16

A/N: So the last two chapters where kind of everything just coming together. Lela's had the seven months to kind of process through everything. But that's processing alone and not with Happy there trying to fight for her in his own way. I thought that them sleeping together the night of the wedding was a perfect way for her to realize that she still does love him and in a way always will but she still needs to be firm in her decision to kick him out of the house. And now back to our regular scheduled programing.

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Happy's POV:

It'd been a month since I had moved out of the house. Lela kept things very calm, there was no yelling or crying after the night of the wedding. There were no words spoken about anything other than Vic and when or if I was going to see him that day or the next. I wasn't used to having this little contact with her when I was on the outside. Sitting on the couch in the small two bedroom house I had rented I looked around. There wasn't much a couch, a chair, a TV, some toys for when Vic came over and a play pen for Mia for when her Mom dropped her off which was becoming more often than not the past couple of weeks.

Sighing I rubbed my face I was tired but I hadn't seen Vic in a few days and was looking forward to seeing him. He didn't ask many questions about Mia after the beginning, he mostly wanted to know why I wasn't home with his new baby sister.

When there was a knock on the front door I looked up and grabbed the gun from next to me. Keeping it at my side I went to the door and looked out the peephole. I smiled when I saw a smiling Vic and Lela standing there, slipping the gun in the back of my pants I opened the door.

"Daddy!" Vic yelled when I opened it.

"Hey kid," I said smiling down at him and hugged him.

"I passed my spelling test. I passed my spelling test," he repeated holding up a piece of paper in his hand.

Taking it out of his hand I looked at it and smiled.

"Apparently all the studying you guys did last weekend helped him a lot. Thanks Hap," Lela said smiling.

It was the first time I had really seen her since I had moved out. I had seen her briefly when she'd stop by the garage to drop Vic off or to see Tig for lunch but never this close. I frowned when I realized she looked tired and worn out, before I could say anything though Vic was pulling me towards the living room.

"Daddy can we have pizza and watch movies?" he asked as he threw his back pack on the ground.

"Put you backpack up kid," I told him.

"Okay," he said before grabbing and running down the hall to his room.

"He's been looking forward to this Happy. If you have to leave please call me and I'll come get him," Lela said when I turned to look at her.

Before I could answer she was already to the door and Vic was running back towards us.

"Mama don't forget to let Jesse on my bed for bed time okay?" Vic asked running up to her.

"I know baby. I will, and don't forget to what your Dad tells you and to brush your teeth before bed. I love you little man," she said bending down to kiss him on the cheek.

"Can I call you before bed?"

"Of course you can kid," I said looking at them.

"Daddy will make sure you call me before bed. Now be good and listen to your Daddy," she said one final time before kissing him again and standing up.

"Wait," Vic said before running back to his room.

"Vic what are you doing?" she yelled after him.

Chuckling I turned back to Lela.

"How are you Lela?" I asked leaning against the hallway wall.

"I'm fine Hap. Getting by, bring any sluts here?" she asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"No I haven't actually. No sluts at all, just work and kids."

Before she could respond Vic came running back into the room holding some stuffed animal. The kid sure knew how to interrupt moments.

"Mama, is this a stuffed animal for a girl?" he asked holding up a small grey elephant with a light pink bow around its neck.

"I guess it could be why?" she asked looking between me and Vic with a confused look on her face.

"Because I got for Mia," he said with a proud smile on his face.

And there it was. The flash of hurt coming across her face before quickly covering it up so that nobody would notice, but I knew her well enough to know that look.

"How 'bout you go put that in her bed kid," I said so that he wouldn't notice Lela's loss of words.

When he ran out of the room I waited till I heard him open my bedroom door where Mia's crib was currently placed. Looking back at Lela I tried to think of something to say to her.

"Lela, I'm sorry. I should of seen it coming," I said stepping closer to her.

"No, no. It's fine. She's his little sister after all. I'm going to get going. Have him call me before bed?" she asked before opening the door.

"Yeah, I will. I love you," I told her before she stepped outside.

"Please Hap, just don't," she said before closing the door.

Sighing I rubbed my face and walked back to my room.

"What are ya doin kid?" I asked as I watched him standing on my bed and trying to climb into the dark brown colored crib.

"Sissy needs this elphant," he said trying to reach inside.

"Let me help," I said walking up to him.

Grabbing him by the waist I picked him up so that he could set the stuffed toy inside the crib.

"Did Mama leave?" he asked as I set him down.

"Yeah kid. You'll call her tonight."

Later that night after a dinner of pizza and a Disney movie Vic was getting changed into his pajama's when there was a knock on the door.

"Stay in here kid," I told him before closing his door.

When I opened the door I saw Carrie standing there with a crying Mia in her carrier.

"What are you doing here Carrie?" I asked crossing my arms against my chest.

"Take her, she won't stop crying and I can't get her to stop. It's been two days of this Happy. Just take her," she said thrusting the carrier towards me.

"Jesus Carrie I had her for four days," I said grabbing the white handle before she had a chance to put it on the ground.

"Well then you make her stop crying. I can't do this right now. Here," she said setting a black and pink diaper bag on the step.

"So what you just drop her when you are tired of being a mom? That's not how being a parent works Carrie," I told her as I sat Mia inside.

"Oh go fuck yourself. You were with me when you had a wife and kid at home. You don't get to lecture me about being a fucking parent. I'll be back," she said before walking to back to her car.

Sighing I picked up the diaper bag and shut the door. Picking up the carrier I walked into the living room and sat her on the couch. Her face was red and blotchy from crying.

"Your mom not taking care of you kid?" I asked as I unbuckled her and picked her up.

She had dark brown hair and was pale like her mom. As we walked to Vic's room she started to calm down some. Opening the door I saw a smile appear on Vic's face.

"What's Sissy doing here?" he asked excitedly from his bed.

"Looks like she's going to be staying with us kid. Go brush your teeth then you can call your Mom okay?" I asked as I tried to get Mia to calm down.

"Okay Daddy," he said before running off to the bathroom.

Sighing I continued to walk around the house in an attempt to get Mia to stop crying. When Vic came running back I dialed Lela's number and handed it to Vic. Walking back into the living room I tried everything I could think of to get her to stop crying. This was one of the many times I regretted not being around when Vic was born.

After Vic hung up with Lela. I read him a story closed his door in an effort to keep him from being kept awake by Mia's crying.

By Midnight both kids were up now and I was close to losing it. Sighing I knew that I had to get help.

"Come on kid we're goin on a drive," I said getting up from my bed.

"Where we goin Daddy?" Vic asked tiredly.

"Goin to your Mom's. See if she can help with Mia," I said as I packed a diaper bag Mia still in one arm.

"Okay Daddy," he mumbled as he got out of the bed.

Not bothering to grab his backpack I put Mia in her carrier and grabbed the keys to the SUV I bought after I left. Locking the door I bucked both Mia and Vic into the back seat before getting inside.

The drive seemed to only make Mia angrier. Speeding to Lela's house I hoped that she was still home. I had a feeling that she was starting to date and that pissed me off but there was nothing I could do.

Pulling up to her house I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw a light still on and just her SUV in the driveway.

"Come on Vic wake up," I said as I turned off the car and unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Sleepy," he replied.

"I know kid. I am too, but I really need you to be a big kid and help me with your sister right now," I told him as I opened his door.

"Mhmm," he said as I helped him out.

Grabbing his hand we walked to the other side of the car to get Mia out. Picking her up I left her carrier in the car and made sure to grab her suitcase.

When we got to the door I began to regret it. It was a dick move coming her begging her for help with a kid that was conceived while we were still married. But I was desperate and she was one of the best mother's I knew and I was lost when it came to trying to figure out what was wrong with Mia. Breathing in I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer.

I could hear dogs barking and Lela telling them to shut up or they'd be outside all night. I couldn't help but smirk at that. When she opened the door I saw confusion written all over her face.

"What are you doing here Hap?" she asked before opening the screen door.

"I need your help," I told her before Mia started screaming again.

"Jesus, how long has she been like that?" she asked looking down at the little girl.

"Not sure. Her mom dropped off at about eight thirty before the kid called you. I can't get her to stop and she woke up Vic," I told her as the little boy flung himself at her.

"Fucking bitch. Okay come in. I'll put him to bed, you set her in the bedroom and I'll be right there," she said before walking off with a sleeping Vic in her arms.

Breathing a sigh of relief I stepped inside the house and noticed the Jesse had followed Lela and Vic into his room but Buzz was still standing there staring at me.

Shaking my head I walked down the hall to our . . . _her_ bedroom and grabbed the first pillow I could before setting Mia on the bed. When I had gotten pillows on both sides of her I sat her diaper bag down at the end of the bed and waited anxiously for Lela to come back.

"Hey big man," she said walking up behind me.

"Get a beer or some water I got this," she said patting my back and giving me a sad smile.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. She's probably just teething, Vic was the same way. I must of gone to the ER a for the first four teeth. They just cry and cry because it's new and they don't know what's happening," she explained as she picked up the crying baby.

"Well I can take her back now if you don't want us here."

"No, it's okay Hap. I got this, come on there should be some left over food in the fridge," she said before walking out of the room.

Silently I followed her to the kitchen, the only noise in the house was her quietly talking to Mia and the sound of claws on wood floors. I stayed in the doorway of the kitchen as I watched her walk around with Mia in her arms. I had missed this part with Vic, I hadn't realized how beautiful she looked with a baby in her arms before.

"What are you doing?" I asked when I saw her take out a frozen waffle.

"Frozen waffle, lick it so that it doesn't stick to their lips and then give it to them. It helps trust me, this is why your son always has to have frozen waffles. I always had at least two boxes in the freezer when he was teething," she explained again before licking the waffle and giving it to Mia.

Right away Mia stopped crying as she sucked on the waffle.

"Jesus that really works," I mumbled in disbelief.

"I know," she whispered smiling down at Mia as she just stood there slowly swaying side to side.

"You know I knew I missed a lot when Vic was a baby. But till her I never realized how much," I said as I walked closer to them.

"I'm glad you get this Hap. I really am," she whispered again as she smiled up at me.


	17. Chapter 17

#17

A/N: I've been talking about this chapter with my two new baby guinea pigs for like an hour and they are like lady chill we just want our god damn hay. So here we go a chapter filled with new territory for everyone. Enjoy!

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The next morning I woke up in bed to whimpering and snoring. Looking around I saw Buzz sleeping at the end of the bed with his head on top of the pillow that we had placed at Mia's feet last night. Looking at the other side of the bed I saw Happy sound asleep and the source of the snoring. And next to me I saw the little girl that had started this whole mess, I knew she looked more like her mother but when I saw her all I could see was Happy.

I got up slowly and picked her up so that she wouldn't wake up Happy. When I moved her Buzz's head shot up and when he saw that I was leaving the room he got up also and stretched before walking out of the room before me.

"We're just gonna let Daddy sleep for a bit. I bet you keep him up at night huh?" I asked the little girl as we walked down the hallway.

It had been a long night. I tried to explain to Happy what to do to make her stop crying but he would get so frustrated that I made him go to bed and I took care of her. Walking into the kitchen I quickly made her a bottle before starting the coffee maker. As she sucked away I walked into the living room and turned on the TV. Sitting on the couch I watched the news silently not really paying any attention just watching the little girl in my arms.

"You're hungry huh? Are you going to be calm now?" I asked her.

All she continued to do was look up at me with her big dark eyes and drink her formula. I didn't notice that Happy had woken up till I felt someone grip my shoulders and squeeze.

"You good?" he rasped sleep still evident in his voice.

"Yeah we're good. There's coffee in the kitchen if you want some," I told him looking up at him.

"How long you been up?" he asked looking down at us.

"Not long, she's just hungry. Which I'm not surprised if last night was any indication of how she's been."

"Thought that you'd be sleeping still," I said watching as he walked into the kitchen.

"Just needed a few good hours. You can go back to sleep, you were up with her more than I was," he said walking back into the room with two mugs of coffee in hand.

"You going to be okay with her tonight?" I asked taking the mug from him.

"Yeah," he replied before taking a sip from his own mug.

Nodding my head I thought about my next question very carefully knowing what it'd lead to.

"You still taking Vic this weekend?" I asked as I handed him Mia.

"If you'd let me. Haven't seen the kid in a bit. Why?" he asked as he took the little girl into his arms after setting the mug down on the coffee table.

"I just have something to do tonight," I said before bringing the mug back up to my lips.

"Yeah like what?" he asked a bit more stress evident in his tone now.

"I have a date if you really want to know," I told him setting the mug on the coffee table and crossing both arms against my chest.

"A date really? We aren't even talking about divorce and you're already out there opening your legs for everyone else," he said through gritted teeth.

"Really you want to go there. How'd that baby get in your arms Hap?" I asked him.

Before he could answer Vic walked into the room rubbing his eyes.

"Mama I'm tired," he said as he climbed onto my lap.

"Then go back to bed baby," I said wrapping my arms around him.

"It's light outside. Can I have poptarts?" he mumbled.

"Yeah baby go get a package," I said kissing the top of his head before he ran off into the kitchen.

When he was gone I turned to Happy and saw his jaw was tense.

"If we have to we will talk about this later. But not in front of Vic," I told him.

Before he could answer Vic came back into the room carrying two packages of poptarts in his hands.

"Vic how many did I say you could have?" I asked as I picked up my coffee mug.

"One's for Daddy," he said setting one of the packages on the coffee table.

"Go eat in your room kid. Your Mom and me need to talk," Happy rasped.

Sighing I nodded my head at Vic and watched as he went down the hall.

"Okay what do you want to talk about?" I asked getting annoyed.

"A date? Really? You were on my back about screwing other women and now you're going on some date."

"Oh fuck you Happy. I have never even thought about another man since we have been together and now the one time I go on a date since I was a teenager you're pissed. I'm not you Hap I know how to keep my shit in my god damn pants. As far as I'm concerned I've been in some sort of shitty limbo stage for the past nine months because you got another bitch pregnant."

"And I've apologized. I don't know what more you want me to do here Lela. I'm trying but you got to give me something. We have sex then the next morning you're kicking me out of my house, we're civil for a month then you help me with my kid even though she's the reason we are in the shithole."

"Don't blame her Happy. Don't you fucking blame her for your fucking mistakes, it's not her fault that her parents are whores."

"I'm not. I'm just saying this shit is getting real old Lela."

"Did Tig ever tell you why I came to live with him?" I asked after we sat there silently for a few minutes.

"Not really. Just said that your mom dropped you off one day."

"I was the product of her affair, just like Mia. Mac's dad left her and took Mac with him. He didn't trust my mom to have Mac alone during the summer, figured she'd be crazy enough to run off with Mac. I mean he was right she was a crazy hateful bitch. But when they came for the summer I had to leave, so I jumped from relative to relative till I was about ten. Tig had enough of his sister's shit. He wasn't any better most of the time but he was some place to call home, he cared enough to make sure that I had clothes for school and I had some money for when she left. When I was seventeen and we had started whatever the fuck it was back then, Mac's dad decided he wanted to try it out again. He had one stipulation though," I told him as I watched his face go blank.

"You couldn't be there."

"I couldn't be there. She dropped me faster than a sack of potatoes."

"What does this have to do with us?" he asked after a few minutes.

"I don't want you to have to choose between me and Vic or Mia. She was born into this shit show, she doesn't deserve to suffer because of the decisions the adults made. I know what it's like to be that kid to have your parents blame you for everything falling apart. You can't do that to her, it makes shit real hard in life."

"I don't blame her Lela," Happy said getting up and walking towards me.

When he sat down next to me he used his free arm to wrap around my shoulders.

"I was stupid and did a lot of stupid shit. Not gonna say it's never gonna happen again. But Mia she's about as one in a million as you get."


	18. Chapter 18

#18

A/N: So don't kill me but for now I'm skipping Lela's date. I'll get back to it because she'll talk about it, but honestly I have no clue what to do for it at the moment so we go to the morning after. Again don't kill me, thank you.

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Groaning I woke up and randomly started to try and grab for my phone. When I couldn't find it I sat up and looked around. I didn't recognize the night and looking next to me I saw the tan tattooed man sleeping next to me still.

"Fuck fuck fuck. Where the fuck are you you piece of shit," I muttered as I stood up and started looking around the room for my phone.

Finally finding my bag I dumped it and found my phone.

"Thank you Jesus," I yelled as I opened it.

"What?" I asked answering it.

"Where the fuck are you?" Happy asked as I began to put my things back into my purse.

"Why the fuck does it matter?" I asked him standing back up.

"Because your fucking kid wants you bitch," he growled into the phone.

Turning to face the bed I saw that my date from last night had woken up and was now sitting up in bed and lighting a cigarette.

"Well you're his father Hap. So be a father and comfort him. I'll be home in a few minutes. Make that an hour," I said as I looked at the long black haired man's toned body and remembered last night.

"Are you still out?"

"Oh fuck off Happy," I said before hanging up and throwing the phone on top of my purse.

"That your ex?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yeah. Some bullshit about my kid needing me," I told him as I got back into the bed.

"What if he does mi amor?" Daniel said as he handed me the cigarette.

"He spent fourteen months inside baby. Feeling helpless about what to do with his kid will help him grow as a person," I told him before taking a drag.

"Go see your son Lela. We can always get back to this later," he said smiling at me.

"God damn it. Fine call me when you want to go out again," I told him as I gave the cigarette back and leaned over to kiss him.

Sighing I pulled away from the kiss and began to get dressed. Pulling on the black and white high waisted, high thigh slit tie dye skirt on I began looking for the black partial lace fitted crop top.

"You seen me shirt Danny?" I asked looking around.

"Right here," he replied with a smile before throwing it at me.

"Thanks. See you Monday?" I asked as I put it on.

"Yeah Mami I'll see you Monday," he said nodding his head.

Nodding my head and smiling I picked up my phone and purse in one hand and my black stiletto's in the other. Walking out of the room I slowly found my way out of his house. Walking outside I was blinded by the sun and felt the hangover.

Pulling out the car keys I started it and waited for the AC to turn on while I searched for my sunglasses. Not finding them I decided to say fuck it and drove away. Most of the time I hated that I worked so close to Charming but now I was thankful for it.

As I pulled up to the house I saw Hap's SUV parked in the driveway. Sighing I pulled in and turned off the car before stepping out and grabbing my shoes and purse. Opening the door I could hear the TV on in the living room and the sounds of breakfast being made in the kitchen.

"Hello," I called out into the house.

"Mama," Vic yelled running towards me.

Putting the shoes and purse on the ground I smiled as I picked him up.

"Hey baby. How was your weekend with Daddy?" I asked as I picked him up.

"It was fun. But I wanted to come home. I missed Jesse," he said wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Really just Jesse?" I asked faking hurt.

"I guess you too," he mumbled before wiggling out of my arms.

Smiling I picked up my purse and walked into the kitchen seeing Happy standing at the stove.

"What are you doin' Hap?" I asked crossing my arms after setting the purse on the counter.

"Kid wanted to come home. You weren't here so I let us in," he said never looking away from the stove.

"Where's Mia?" I asked knowing he wouldn't say anything more.

"In with the kid. Watching some kid shit," he said this time looking at me.

I watched his face as he looked me up and down. Smirking I leaned back against the counter.

"Like what you see big man?" I asked with a smirk.

"You wear that shit on dates now?" he asked before turning back to the stove.

"I like it. I think I look hot and my date thought so too," I said smiling at him before I walked out kitchen.

As I walked into the living room I heard various items hitting the kitchen floor in a loud crash and knew that I had gotten to him. I couldn't help the laugh that came out as I sat down on the black fabric couch.

"What was that Mama?" Vic asked as he sat next to me.

"Nothing baby. Your Daddy is just making you breakfast," I told him as I wrapped my arm around him and kissed the top of his head.

"But you don't make that much noise when you make breakfast," he replied.

"It's been a while since your Daddy's had to make breakfast. How you feeling?"

"I'm hungry," he said before getting off the couch and walking out of the room.

Smiling I looked at the little girl partially sitting up in the middle of the floor surrounded with pillows. Getting up I walked over to her and sat in front of her. I couldn't help but smiled bigger when she smiled at me.

"Hey little girl. Did you give your Daddy a hard time last night?" I asked as I picked her up.

Her answer was a seriously of sounds and a smile.

"I'm going to take that as a yes. Did you have fun torturing him?" I asked her still smiling.

As she laughed again I heard Happy come into the room.

"Breakfast is ready if you want some."

"I'm good. She keep you up last night?" I asked him as he sat on the couch in front of us.

"Not really. The waffle thing works," he said giving me a half smile.

"That's good. If it gets worse there's creams and stuff you get her, but a nice frozen waffle usually does the trick. Yes it does," I said as I smiled at Mia more.

"She likes you."

"I like her. She's really beautiful Hap," I said as I put her back in the pile of pillows.

It was silent for a few minutes as we both looked at each other. As he moved forward on the couch. Before he could say anything Mia started to whine.

"You like being the center of attention?" I asked the little girl smiling at her.

"I'm sorry. I know I've said it before but, this time it's different," he whispered still looking at me.

Taking a deep breath I looked back up at him.

"I know Hap and I know that this has something to do with me being out all night. Let's just play the long game, see what happens and where this all leads. I don't want you to think that what happened is okay because it's not, it hurt so much. That wall was full of pictures of us as a family but I threw them all at a wall because I was hurt," I said pointing to the wall behind him.

He nodded his head at that.

"But I also don't want to throw this away. I mean I love you Hap and I always will and I loved our family and the life we built together. But I don't think I can do the whole knowing you screw other women and turning a blind eye to it anymore."


	19. Chapter 19

#19

A/N: Time jump, just thought that I would let you lovely people know. This is an idea I've been playing with and I feel like now is the perfect time to introduce the situation.

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I sat in the parking lot trying to breathe. This couldn't be happening, it was just some fluke. I had cancer or I was just going crazy anything but what I felt it was. But this couldn't be happening not now. Everything was in a careful balance that seemed like it could fail at any time. Me and Happy where good, he would occasionally stay at the house. Danny was becoming something, but I wasn't sure just exactly what it was yet. Life was already unknown and I didn't need to add this to the mix.

Finally getting the courage I needed I grabbed my purse from the passenger seat and got out of the car. The walk into the hospital was spent trying to numb myself, I needed to be prepared for what was going to happen.

Standing in front of the elevator I kept pushing the up button till the doors opened. Stepping inside I began pressing the floor number. Before the doors could close someone stopped it with their hand. Stepping inside was a tall black guy in a sheriffs uniform. He politely smiled at me before pressing the same button I had.

"Having a nice day?" he asked after a few moments.

"Just peachy keen sheriff," I said forcing a smile on my face.

"Your Mrs. Lowman if I'm correct."

"So now you're stalking wives to their doctors' appointments? Glad to see my tax dollars at work."

"No actually I'm meeting my wife for a doctor's appointment. Glad to hear you pay taxes though," he replied as the doors opened.

Stepping out I headed straight towards the nurses station.

"Can you tell me where Dr. Knowles office is?" I asked the first nurse I saw.

"She's right down the hall first office on the left," she said before continuing down a different hall.

Nodding my head I walked down the hall. I stood outside her door and took a deep breath before knocking on her door.

"Come in," she replied through shuffling papers.

Opening the door I saw her putting things in folders.

"Hey Lela, what can I do for you?" she asked smiling at me.

"I uh . . . I need a favor. And I need you to keep it between us," I told her after I closed the door.

"Sure what is it?" she asked concern evident in her tone.

"I think I might be pregnant. I'm not sure but it's just this feeling I have and with my history I need to know," I told her as I sat down in a chair in front of her desk.

"Wow, does Happy know?"

"No. It could possibly not be his and even if it was I wouldn't tell him. There's enough shit going on that he doesn't need to worry about me loosing another baby. I just need a blood test to know if I am or not."

"Okay. We can go to an exam room and I get take some blood and put a rush on it. Are you sure you don't want to tell Happy? The wait alone can be hard?" she asked standing up.

"The last time I had a miscarriage he threw himself into a bender and the club. I didn't see him for a week. He really wanted that one to survive Tara, we never told anyone but we had a small stash of onesies for that baby. That's something we hadn't done since the first one when I was twenty three. I don't want to get his hopes up and especially if this baby isn't his, it'll just make it worse and possibly be the final nail in the coffin for my marriage."

"Okay. Well I'll wait with you then. I guess you know all your options then?" she asked as we walked towards an exam room down the hall from her office.

"I've known them since I was thirteen, Tig made sure from a very young age that I knew my options. Didn't need them till I was fifteen though," I said giving her a small smile.

"My speech came from the school and Gemma so consider yourself lucky. Okay sit down on the table," she said opening the door.

She left me there for a few minutes as she got what she needed for the blood test. When she walked back into the room I saw that she had pamphlets in her hands too.

"What are those for?" I asked as she sat everything down behind me.

"Just some information. There's one about dealing with pregnancy after miscarriage, another on trying to conceive after miscarriage. Just making sure that you have everything," she said with a smile before tying the plastic around my arm.

"Thank you for doing this," I said after she poked the needle in.

"I hope this works out for you how you want it to. Whether that be with Happy or the other guy, but I hope you get this baby Lela."

"I guess one of us has to have hope."

"What do you mean?" she asked looking confused.

"After a miscarriage you kind of don't know how to react to being pregnant again. I mean the first time you get pregnant its tears and excitement and then you lose the baby and you are divested. Then with the second pregnancy you're more anxious than anything and then you lose another baby. By the third I didn't know how to feel, I didn't really feel anything towards the baby at all but I didn't want Happy to worry so I faked it. And now with this, I'm kind of hoping I'm wrong, that I'm not and it's some trick in my mind. But I have this gut feeling that I am and I don't know how to feel," I explained as she prepared the blood for transport.

"I get that. Not really knowing how to feel about something that is supposed to be special and happy," she said as she opened the door.

Sitting there again I looked around the room. It was a clinical white and there was posters of pregnant women everywhere. When she walked back in she sat on the stool.

"Do you know what you are going to do if it comes back positive?" she asked after a few silent minutes.

"Keep it I guess. Hope this one doesn't end like the last three," I replied with a shrug of my shoulders.

"I don't mean to pry but is Vic actually yours and Happy's? I'm only asking because he would have had to have been born when you were twenty three or so and you said that you had a miscarriage."

"Oh yeah, my little miracle baby. Yep he's all mine and Hap's, he was one of a twin or triplet. I had found out I was pregnant a little before we moved to Tacoma, it was too early to really justify spending the money on going to the doctor's and we were broke from getting a house and moving again. But when we got to Tacoma and I started bleeding Hap freaked and he forced me to go to the doctor. I lost the other babies but Vic held on, I don't know how or why but he held on and he became our little miracle."

"Well he seems like a really happy boy," she said with a smile.

We spent the rest of the time talking about our kids. It was something we had in common and it kept us busy enough while we waited.

When there was a knock on the door we stopped talking and both looked at the door. Holding my breath I watched as Tara got up and opened the door to get the test results. When she closed the door she opened the folder and read them.

"It's positive Lela. You are having a baby," she said before looking up at me.

"Fuck," I said as I ran my hands through my hair.


	20. Chapter 20

#20

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I didn't know what to do with the news. Standing outside of Vic's school didn't help any either. I waited for Vic to come running out of the building like he did every day. When the bell rang and all the kids came running out I looked for Vic among the small bodies of running and screaming little people. Not seeing him I began to worry as I walked into the school.

Walking to his classroom I looked inside the little window on the metal door and saw Vic sitting at a table as his teacher sat at her desk.

"Hey baby," I said smiling as I walked into the room.

"Mama!" he yelled when he saw me and got up to run to me.

"Vic sit back down," his teacher said not even looking up from the papers on her desk.

"Why is my son in here alone? School's over," I asked the teacher from my spot by the door.

"Vic was disruptive during class. Foul language and making crude comments. I don't know what you allow at home Mrs. Lowman but that kind of behavior is not acceptable in my classroom," she said finally looking at me.

"I don't allow him to curse at home either that's why we have a swear jar. As for the crude comments he's seven I don't know what he could have said. So I will be taking my son home now. Vic get your backpack," I told him.

"Okay Mama," he replied with a smile.

"Mrs. Lowman this is his punishment. You can't just come in here and undermine me."

"He's seven years old and I'm his mother. I can do whatever I damn well please. This situation called for a note home not keeping my kid after school, now if he had hit another kid then I would get it but he just said some things he shouldn't have which is what kids do. Come on Vic let's go home," I told him as I reached out for his hand.

When he took my hand I opened the door and let him out first before following him and making sure the door slammed shut.

"What'd you say?" I asked him when we were walking outside of the school towards the SUV.

"Nothing. I just said the test was stupid and then I was telling my friend James a joke that Grandpa Tig told me."

Sighing I opened his door and waited for him to sit down.

"Victor we talked about telling jokes you hear from Grandpa Tig," I told him as I handed him his seat belt.

"But I didn't get it and James has older brothers so I thought he'd know."

"Then you ask me or Daddy. Now you get to tell your Father why you were held after school," I told him before I closed his door.

Getting inside I looked at the pouting little boy sitting behind me.

"What's the matter baby?" I asked as I pulled away from the school.

"Do I have to tell Daddy?"

"Well you're the one that decided you had to tell James Grandpa Tig's joke. So now you get to tell Daddy."

The rest of the drive was silent except the soft sounds coming from the radio. Pulling up to the house I saw Happy's SUV parked in the driveway.

"Looks like you get to tell him now," I told Vic as I pulled out the keys and turned around to look at him.

Getting out I opened his door and took his backpack as he jumped out of the back.

"Can I have a snack?" he asked as we walked to the front door.

"Yeah baby I'll cut you up an apple. Just sit at the coffee table," I told him as we walked inside.

Walking in the kitchen I saw Happy leaning against the counter and Mia sitting in a high chair as he fed her baby food.

"I see your taking advantage of me saying you can come by whenever," I told him as I sat my purse on the counter.

"Left the high chair here," he said simply as he gave Mia the spoon.

"She throws it your cleaning it up big man. I have to make your other devil spawn a snack," I told him.

"She won't throw it. How's the kid?" he asked.

Before I answered Mia proved me right and threw her spoon on the ground and started to giggle.

"You were saying?" I asked smiling at him as I walked past him to get to the fridge.

"Your makin' me look bad little girl," he muttered as he bent down to pick up the spoon.

Before either of us had a chance to clean up Buzz came into the kitchen and started to lick up the food.

"Well you still get to give her a bath," I told him with a smile as I began to cut up the apple for Vic.

"What took you guys so long?" he asked as he wiped Mia's face.

"You devil spawn decided to call a test stupid then he asked his friend James what Grandpa Tig's joke meant. So I'm currently waiting for some angry phone calls from parents and you get to listen to your devil spawn tell you the story," I told him as I plated the apple slices and put some peanut butter on the side.

"Jesus Grandpa Tig," Happy mumbled as he lifted Mia up and walked out of the kitchen.

Shaking my head I walked into the living room and sat the plate in front of Vic.

"You got any homework baby?" I asked him as I ran my fingers through his curls.

"Yes I have to read. But Mia's here so I will read to her," he said as he picked up an apple slice.

"Do you like being a big brother?" I asked sitting on the couch behind him.

"Yeah. I get to teach Mia things. She doesn't get a lot of it but Daddy says she still likes it when I do."

"You're a good big brother Vic," I said with a sad smile on my face.

Before he could answer I heard a string of curse words and loud yelling coming from the bathroom where Happy was with Mia. Sighing I got up and walked into the bathroom.

I found a shirtless and soaked Happy sitting by the bathtub holding a smiling Mia.

"Having some problems?" I asked smiling at him.

"She's learned splashing," he grumbled before handing me the wet and smiling baby and walking out of the room.

"Are you giving your Daddy a hard time?" I asked smiling at the little girl.

She gave me a toothy smile and laughed again. Walking to the bath tub I sat her back in and began to wash her again guessing that Happy didn't get very far. Wrapping her in a towel I walked back out into the living room and watched as Vic told Happy what had happened at school as he sat on Happy's lap.

"But I still don't get Grandpa Tig's joke," Vic whined at the end.

"And you won't till you're fifteen or at least thirty if your Mom has her way. Just remember you don't repeat that shit at school kid," Happy said looking Vic in the eyes.

"Okay Daddy," he mumbled as he got down and sat back in front of his plate of apples.

"Hey Daddy you want to get your daughter a diaper and maybe a shirt?" I asked walking into the room.

Getting up he walked up to me with a smirk on his face before putting his hand on my hip and pulling me close.

"I like when you call me Daddy," he whispered before kissing me on the cheek and walking away.

"You're a dirty man," I yelled after him with a smile and walked into the living room.

"Why's Daddy dirty?" Vic asked as I sat down on the couch.

Feeling my face heat up I tried to come up with an answer.

"No reason baby he just got dirty at work so he needs to shower. Eat your apples baby," I told him as I moved Mia around.


	21. Chapter 21

#21

A/N: Sorry it's been a bit since I've uploaded I wasn't sure how to approach Happy finding out about the baby. Then it came to me right before I was supposed to go to an all day festival where I got so burnt that I started calling myself a Neapolitan ice cream sandwich because one part of my arm was dark like chocolate the skin under my shirt was white as vanilla and then where I was burnt I was bright as fucking strawberry. But here it is I hope you all enjoy.

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Three months that's how far along I was. It scared me to no end knowing that I was close to possibly loosing another baby, but I was beginning to have some hope that maybe I wouldn't lose this one that maybe I would be able to have a baby.

Walking into the house I smiled when I saw Vic sleeping on the couch and Mia asleep next to him. It was becoming more of a regular thing for Happy and Mia to be at the house. In an odd way we had become some sort of a family. I would have moments of regret in not telling Happy about the baby when I saw him with Mia, but then I would see Danny at work and I knew that it was for the best at the moment for our family and the precious sense of peace we had made.

Walking past them I went into the bedroom and found Happy siting on the end of the bed in a pair of dark grey sweats and a wet grey towel next to him.

"When did you and Mia get here?" I asked as I slipped off the black pumps I had worn for the day.

"Before Vic came home from school. We need to talk about a couple things little girl," he said looking up at me with dark eyes.

"What happened? I didn't get any calls from anyone today," I said feeling the dread build a pit in my stomach.

"Everyone's fine. This is about us," he said before grabbing his towel and getting up.

I wrapped my arms around myself as I watched him walk to the light blue plastic laundry basket and throw the towel in before closing the door behind me.

"First things first, Mia's Mom came by the garage today," he said walking back to the bed.

"Shit, babe why didn't you call me?" I asked as I began taking off my loose deep V neck white t-shirt.

"She wanted to see Mia. Told her no she said that she would call the cops if I didn't give her back."

"Fuck," I groaned as I leaned against the dresser in my black lace bra and light blue ripped jeans.

"I need to figure out how to keep her. Her Mom is crazy and she doesn't deserve to grow up with that shit," he said rubbing his face with both hands.

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes for a few seconds then opened them again to see Happy with his head in his hands.

"Alright I've got this, I learned a few things from Tig when I was a kid," I told him before I began taking off my pants.

"If I thought that killing her would work I would do it myself."

"Not what I'm talking about Hap. Women like her that just drop their kids for months on end with nothing, they are very easy to pay off. She's just like my Mom, that's how Tig got me. He got Clay and Gemma to help him a bit but he paid her off. It's what's best for your little girl Hap," I told him as I walked towards him.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. Just starring into each other's eyes. Leaning down I kissed the top of his head and walked back to the dresser grabbing a pair of black running shorts and a white flowy workout tank.

We stood in silence for a few minutes I had been with him long enough to know when he was thinking hard about something.

"What's got you thinking so hard big man?" I asked from my spot against the dresser.

"I found something earlier, well Mia did. She knocked over some boxes in the closet when I was getting Vic a snack."

There it was the thing that made my heart stop. It was one of two things that I had hidden in the closet and I prayed it wasn't the information Tara had given me about the baby.

"What'd she find?" I asked trying to hide the strain in my voice.

"When were you going to tell me you stopped taking your meds?" he asked standing up.

"Is this what had you thinking so hard?" I asked trying to hide the laughter that was forming.

"This is serious shit Lela."

"No it's not Hap. It doesn't matter why I stopped taking them okay? I just did now we can drop it."

"There's at least two month's worth of pills in that box Lela. I'm not coming home to a crying kid and you passed out and bleeding in the bath tub, not again."

"Fuck you. I'm not that person anymore Happy. I regret what I did every day and I hate that you had to find me like that. That I couldn't keep my shit together," I yelled at him.

"Well what the hell else am I supposed to think when I find two month's worth of pills in your damn closet like some teenage bitch?" he yelled back in a deep gravely voice.

"That I know what the fuck I'm doing. Just fucking trust me."

"Then tell me what the fuck is going on. The only time you've ever stopped taking these is when you were pregnant and you sure as hell aren't pregnant."

I couldn't help the laughter that came out and the smile that appeared on my face. There it was the little voice in my head said not to but I felt the over whelming need to make him drop the pill thing.

Sighing I looked at the floor then back at him still with a smile on my face.

"Jokes on you then big man. I am pregnant. For some god forsaken reason I got myself knocked up again and I'm a week away from when I lost the last one. So go fuck yourself," I told him before pushing past him and walking out of the room.

I made it as far as the end of the hallway leading into the living room before I felt a hand grip my arm and pull me into the bathroom.

"What the hell do you mean you're pregnant?" he growled.

"I mean I'm pregnant. If I were to pee on a stick right now it would be a big ol' positive."

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

"You want the truth?" I asked crossing my arms against my chest.

When he didn't answer I knew it was now or never,

"I didn't tell you because there's a chance the baby might not be yours. I also didn't tell you because I didn't see the point in blowing up what was left of our marriage if I lost a baby that possibly wasn't yours."

Instead of answering he punched the wall behind me then punched the bathroom mirror. I brought my hand up to my mouth as I watched him grip the counter. As much as I wanted to comfort him I knew it wasn't the time.

After a few minutes he turned on the faucet and started to wash his hand. When he winced in pain as the water hit the various cuts on his hand. Reaching around him I grabbed the bottle of hydrogen peroxide and grabbed his hand from the water.

I felt him tense up as I began to clean his hand with cotton balls.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I worked.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked.

"I needed to feel good about something, about myself I guess."

"That's my job."

"Do you know what it makes me feel like when I know you screw other woman? Not only that but they are skinny blonde girls with fake tits. I am the complete opposite of them Hap. So why them and not me? Why are you with me?" I asked him.

"Because I love you."

"I don't think you know how to Hap. As much as you might think you do. Repeatedly screwing women that are the exact opposite of me shows that in some fucked up way you don't."

"I. Love. You."

"Jesus will you stop saying that? We are lying to ourselves here Happy. I can't do that anymore, I don't know if I can do this anymore," I said dropping his hand.

"So what you want to leave?"

"I don't know Hap. I love you despite everything I love you and I love your little girl and I love this fucked up family we have. But I don't know if I can keep living in a lie."

My words just hung there in the air. I moved to sit on the floor and after a few moments Happy followed me. We sat there side by side against the cabinets.

"I think I'll go to the trailer for a bit," I finally said.

"No stay here. I still have my place."

"That's not the point of me going to the trailer. I need a place to think and to figure out what's going to happen."

"Go to my Mom's."

"She's your Mom Hap. I'm not going to stay with her while I decide if I want to stay with her son, that's a little fucked up even for us."

"We both know she likes you more than me."

Nodding my head I grabbed his injured had and placed it in my lap again. We still sat there no words spoken. Placing my head on his shoulder I felt him kiss the top of it. I smiled.


	22. Chapter 22

#22

A/N: And it's new character time. Along with flashbacks. Please comment I love reading what you guys think. Enjoy

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Four days later I was helping Vic pack a bag while I held Mia as she babbled away. I had decided that today was the day we moved to the trailer. It excited the little boy to no end, to him the trailer was a place where his parents where always with him and there was no interruptions from the outside world. As much as I hated to crush that illusion I needed a place to think, a place that was far from what life had become.

"Mama are we going to go swimming?" Vic asked pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yeah baby we can. You want to play in the water with your sister?" I asked him as I moved Mia to my other hip.

"Do I have to bring my books?"

"Yes. Just because it's break doesn't mean that you can't keep reading it's good for you baby. You know your Daddy used to read to you?" I told him.

"How?"

"Well when he called every night I would hold you and the phone and he would make up stories to get you to sleep. It worked every time and if he missed a call you wouldn't sleep that night," I told him with a smile.

"Like what I do with Mia?"

"Exactly like what you do with Mia. Are you done?" I asked him.

"Yes. Is Daddy coming with us?" he asked as he zipped up his little suitcase.

"Not this time baby. It's just us and your sister," I told him as he walked past me.

"Why not?" he questioned as he walked into my bedroom and climbed up on the bed.

"He has work. Watch your sister while I pack real quick okay?" I asked as I sat Mia on the bed.

Nodding his head he turned to the little girl and began to play peek-a-boo with her. Smiling I turned to the closet and grabbed the first duffle bag I could find.

The first thing I grabbed where all the important papers for the family, including Mia's adoption papers.

 _Sitting at the small diner off the highway I waited for Carrie to show up. I smiled at the young waitress as she sat a glass of apple juice and a plate of toast in front of me. Hearing the bell over the door signaling that someone had come into the diner I looked up and came face to face with the blonde woman that had blown my life apart. I watched as she looked around for me. When she saw me she tried to force a smile on her face._

" _Carrie," I told her before taking a sip of my juice._

" _I thought that I was meeting Happy. Is he in the bathroom?" she asked sitting down across from me._

" _He's not coming. You get me today. So where have you been the past few months?" I asked her as I watched her squirm in the metal chair._

" _Where's my kid?"_

" _You can stop the worried mom act Carrie, I know woman like you. Hell I was raised by one. So here's the deal, you sign these papers giving away your rights over Mia and we won't have a problem," I told her pushing a manila envelope towards her._

" _I'm not going to do shit. I'm her Mother," she spat back at me._

" _Really then what's her favorite food? When did she say her first word? What was her first word? Has she walked yet?"_

 _When she didn't answer and just looked down at the table, I smiled and leaned back into my chair._

" _Her favorite food is pureed peaches. She said her first word two months ago and it was 'Mama', she said it when I walked into the house after work. She tries to walk every day but she hasn't yet. You aren't her mother Carrie, you're an egg donor a mother knows all this about her kid."_

" _That doesn't mean shit I still have a right to see my kid."_

" _I have thirty-thousand in cash right now. You get it if you sign these papers, for once in your daughter's life do something right."_

" _Why are trying to buy a kid that's not yours?"_

" _Because she is mine. Just because I didn't give birth to her doesn't mean she's not. I've been there for her when you decided you didn't want to be a mom. So sign the papers and take your money and never come back."_

" _Thirty-thousand?" she asked before picking up the pen._

 _Nodding my head I watched as she opened the envelope and signed where I marked. When she was done she put the papers back in and I smiled at her._

" _This is what being a mom is about. Doing the right thing for your kid, no matter how hard it is. Here's your money," I told her as I handed her the black bag._

" _You'll tell her that I did this for her?" she asked scratching at her arm._

" _Of course," I said before standing up and grabbing the envelope and my purse._

 _Putting some cash on the table I walked out of the diner and straight to my car. As bad as I felt for Carrie I knew I was doing the right thing for Mia, even if I left Happy she would still have a stable parent and not someone that would just come in and out and leave them to protect themselves._

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard Mia start to cry. Shaking my head I looked over at the two kids and saw Vic and Mia both looking upset.

"What happened?" I asked as I walked over and picked up Mia.

"She wasn't playing right," Vic grumbled as he crossed his arms.

"Baby she's still too little. She doesn't know how to play. Do you want to help me pack?" I asked him knowing that they both needed a break.

An hour later we were walking out of the house with both dogs walking beside Vic. Smiling at Vic I opened the side door for Vic and both dogs jumped in before him. I watched him buckle up before I closed the door and walked to the other side to put Mia in her seat.

"Mama can we get food?" Vic asked as I sat Mia in her seat.

"Yeah baby we are going to stop along the way. Are you hungry now?" I asked.

"No."

Nodding my head I made sure Mia was secure before looking back at the dogs. Seeing that they were laying in the back I got out and closed the door before walking to the back.

As I put the bags in the back I heard a car pull up to the house. Turning around I saw Tara coming out of her car.

"What can I do for ya Doc?" I asked as I went back to putting the bags in the SUV.

"We need to talk about something," she said walking up to me.

"Okay like what? I kind of have a schedule to keep here," I said motioning towards the full car and the bags in the back.

"I went ahead and requested your medical records from up in Tacoma. Somethings don't add up Lela."

Sighing I closed the trunk and looked at her.

"Have you told anyone?" I asked feeling the panic build inside.

"Why are telling people a lie? This could blow back into some serious shit for the club."

"I know what I'm doing here Tara. Now who did you tell?"

"No one. But anyone can request them."

"Jesus. You just can't leave shit alone can you?" I yelled at her.

"Not when it could land my husband in jail for being an accessory. Now explain"

"I don't have to tell you anything. The people that need to know, know and if you don't know then obviously you don't need to."

"How'd you get Vic Lela? Because all your records say none of the fetus's survived your miscarriage."

"Vic is not your concern."

"Tell me or I go to Jax with everything else I found out. I'm sure your Father would love to know about you."

"You don't know what your talking about Tara. Now leave before you get into anymore shit that you nothing about."

"I have the files in my car Lela. It's not that far of a drive to the clubhouse."

Sighing I looked back at the kids in the car and looked back at Tara. Feeling the tears prick my eyes I took a deep breath.

"Fine. He's not mine and Hap's. But everything is legal, we have all the papers. Just please Tara don't use what's in that file, my family is barely hanging on I don't need this to come out."

"I want to see the papers,"

Nodding my head I opened the trunk again and dug through Mia's diaper bag till I found the folder labeled Victor.

"Here, these are copies. My lawyer has the originals."

I waited as she looked through them. When she was happy she handed them back to me and I put them back into the diaper bag.

"Why the story? If it's all legal why hide it?"

"Because I promised that I would love him like my own and after we moved Hap went inside and I had the miscarriage. It was just easier to go stay with his Mom especially when I got Vic. Are you happy now?" I asked her.


	23. Chapter 23

#23

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Two days later I found myself alone in a trailer with both kids. We started the day with Vic wanting to play in the lake first before breakfast so here I sat on a rock in a black bikini with a dark grey loose V-neck t-shirt on over the top as I held Mia between my legs as she splashed the water around us and I watched Vic pick up rocks that looked interesting.

"Vic you getting hungry baby?" I asked him.

"No," he said before turning his back to me and looking down at the water.

"I think Mia is getting hungry though. We can come back out here later on if you want," I told him as I picked up Mia and stood up.

"Fine," he grumbled before walking back towards shore.

Sighing I walked behind him as he walked back to the trailer.

"Da," Mia said clapping her hands with a squeal.

Looking at where she was looking I saw Happy leaning against his bike smoking.

"Vic look who's here," I said knowing that it would make the small boy happy.

"Daddy!" Vic yelled before running off to Happy.

I felt Mia squirming in my arms when she watched Vic run off.

Walking a little faster up the path I put Mia down and watched as she tried to run to Happy. I watched as his face broke out in a smile as he watched both kids run to him. Smiling I stayed back as he hugged both kids and picked them up.

"When'd she start that?" He asked when I got closer.

"When we got here. First time she's ran though. What are you doing up here Hap?" I asked him as I walked to the front door and opened it.

"Had a few free days," he said as he sat Vic down before they walked in.

"Well you are just in time for some cherrios. Vic sit down at the table while I get your food," I yelled at the running child from the kitchen.

"Wash up first kid," Happy said following into the kitchen.

When he ran off Happy sat Mia on the counter and watched as I made Vic his breakfast.

"You want something or are you just going to stare at me?" I asked him.

"You know the answer," he grumbled before looking down at Mia who was babbling.

We were silent till Vic came walking back into the kitchen.

"Daddy are you going to say with us?" he asked as I sat his bowl at the small two person table one of the windows in the small kitchen.

"For a few days kid. Where are the dogs?" he asked noticing that Buzz and Jesse weren't around.

"In my room they stay there in the morning till I get the kids fed," I told him as I walked back in and picked up Mia.

We stood there again silently.

"You get the papers in?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah I did. My lawyer got Carrie's papers pushed through and tomorrow he's going to file the adoption papers. You sure about this?"

"I should be the one asking you that?" he replied putting his hand on my hip.

"This isn't like it was with Vic though Hap, this is different."

Sighing he walked into the living room and I followed him still holding Mia.

"How is this different than it was with Vic?"

"Because she still wanted Mia Hap. I mean yes she's a shitty mother but what are we going to do when she finds out Carrie wanted her but I paid her off? I was pissed as hell when I found out that Tig did that. It didn't matter that I knew I was better off with him, my Mother still wanted me and he paid her off to keep her away from me."

"You grew up with her Lela. You're the only mother Mia is going to know and now it's going to be official. So stop thinking that shit and just be a god damn mother," he said before walking out of the room and down the hall.

When I heard the door slam and the dogs barking I knew he was in our room and I sighed. Looking down at Mia who was looking up at me with a smile I kissed her cheek.

"You'll still love me when you find out I paid your mom off right?" I asked the little girl.

When she just smiled I kissed her again and walked back into the kitchen to see Vic putting his bowl into the sink.

"You all done baby?" I asked him.

"Yeah can I watch cartoons now?" he asked.

"Sure. Watch your sister for me while I go talk to your Dad," I told him as we walked back into the living room.

"Okay," he said simply as he grabbed the remote and sat on the couch.

I sat Mia on the floor on her pink blanket covered in toys. Doing one last check on the kids I walked down the hall and opened the door to the bedroom. Seeing Happy sitting on the edge of the bed with both dogs laying behind him.

"Out," I said while snapping my fingers.

Both dogs got up and stretched before jumping off the bed and walking out of the room. Closing the door after them I looked back at Happy and crossed my arms against my chest.

"You're a real asshole you know that? Telling me to be a god damn mom, like that's not what I've been doing for months now. I love that little girl Hap I want her just as much as you do. But I am telling you that this can blow up in our faces. You think Tig ever expected me to find out what he did?"

"You done?"

"Fuck you Happy."

"Don't piss me off little girl."

"What are you going to hit me? Hit me I dare you, see what the fuck happens or if I even give a shit anymore. You've already broken me why not give me a few bruises on the outside to match the damage you've done on the inside."

"I'm not going to fucking hit you no matter how much you deserve it."

"So what being the ever so obedient wife the past eleven years means I deserve to be smacked around? Fucking try me asshole."

"Jesus what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Your questioning me as a mother. I may be a lot of things and done a lot of shitty stuff that I pray to god our kids don't ever find out I did but I'll be damned if some asshole who has spent half his kids lives locked up, tell me that I'm a shit mother."

"I never once said that you were a shit mother, I told you to start acting like you were because you were questioning your place in Mia's life."

We both stood there and let the words hang in the air. A few long silent minutes later I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. A few more silent minutes later he followed and sat down next to me.

"I haven't lost the baby yet. I keep waiting for it to happen because it happened with all the others but it hasn't and I don't know whether to be excited or scared," I whispered laying my head on his shoulder.

Wrapping his arm around me he brought me closer and kissed the top of my head.

"Be happy mi amour. This is your chance," he whispered back.


	24. Chapter 24

#24

A/N: I love how excited you guys are for my updates. Sorry they have been lacking I recently got back into college and well yeah. Please review and comment and whatever else your little heart's desire. Also remember that italics are flashbacks.

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That night as we laid in bed with Vic asleep in his room and Mia asleep in her pac'n'play at the end of our bed. I knew Happy was asleep when his arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled my closer. Looking over at him I realized how much older he actually was. It was something that I never usually noticed when we were together because it never mattered when we were together. I saw the worry written in his face and remembered that last time I saw so much worry written in his face.

 _Seven years ago_

" _Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked looking at me from his spot across from me at the metal table._

" _They don't want him Hap. She's just some random chic he fucked when he was high off his ass. It's either us or he ends up in the system. I really want this baby," I told him._

" _That's not what I'm asking Lela. It's real close to when you would have had the baby. Are you going to be able to do this?" he asked again._

" _I am. I know its close but this may be our only chance for a while baby and I really want this."_

" _If you think you are going to be able to handle it okay. I'll sign the papers when I get out. Where are you going to stay? I don't want you to be alone."_

" _I talked to Nora about it before I came here. She offered to let us stay there while you're inside. I think it's the best option, she's not feeling to good these days and she can help me."_

 _Before he could answer a bell rang to signal that visitation was over._

" _I love you Happy, be safe please." I told him as he stood up._

 _Nodding his head he walked back towards the guards._

 _One week later. . ._

" _Are you his new Mom?" an older nurse asked me as she held the bundle of blue blanket in her arms._

" _Yeah I am," I said nodding with a smile on my face._

" _He's very healthy. Has all ten fingers and toes. He's very beautiful, fullest head of black hair I've ever seen," she said as she placed him in my waiting arms._

 _Smiling I took him in my arms and looked down at the new tiny human in my arms. This was it, he was my son, he was mine. I couldn't help the tears that slipped down my cheeks._

" _Is he okay?" a voice asked from behind me._

 _Turning around I saw Mac standing in the doorway of the room we were in._

" _He's absolutely perfect," I said with a proud smile._

" _Thank you for doing this. I know it's a lot to ask."_

" _This is the biggest gift anyone has ever given me Mac. But are you sure? Because there is no going back after this."_

" _I'm not ready to be a parent and I'm not going to be Mom. Besides you and Happy are the best options for this kid to even have a chance in this world."_

" _I love you Mac," I told him before the tiny baby began to cry._

" _I think someone is hungry," the nurse said from behind us._

 _Turning back towards her I smiled as she handed me a bottle. Sitting down in a rocking chair I looked down at him as he drank from the bottle._

" _Was that his father?" she asked after we heard the door close._

" _The birth father yes. My husband is away on business for the moment, so it's just me and this little guy for a bit."_

" _I will leave you two alone then," she said with a smile before walking out of the room._

 _Sitting there in the empty room I watched as the tiny baby ate._

" _Oh sweet boy you are the greatest gift I could ask for. I'm going to be your Mom and you are my sweet baby boy. You want to know your name?" I asked him as I sat the bottle on the floor._

 _Slowly getting up I walked around the room rocking him in my arms._

" _You my sweet boy are named Victor. Victor Anxo Caymen Lohman, I know it's a big name. But you my love are a very big and important piece of my life and your father's. Now your Daddy he's not going to be around for a while but he loves you little man. You are something we have wanted for so long and here you are."_

 _By the end of the night we were walking out of the hospital and I couldn't stop smiling._

 _Pulling up to Nora's small house I saw that she was still awake. With baby carrier in hand I walked up to the door and before I could even touch the door knob Nora had it open and wore a smile on her face._

" _Is this him?" She asked looking down at the sleeping baby._

 _Nodding my head with a smile I walked into the house. Sitting the carrier on the faded floral couch._

" _What's his name?" she asked following me into the living room._

" _This is VictorAnxo Caymen Lohman. He was born this morning," I told her with pride in my voice._

" _Oh sweetie he's beautiful. Does Happy know?"_

" _Not yet. I'm going to tell him when he calls tomorrow, I couldn't take his call at the hospital."_

 _After a few silent minutes she spoke again._

" _What about your brother?"_

" _He saw us after the nurse gave me him. He knows that he can't go back after this."_

" _That's not what I meant Lela."_

" _You sound just like your son you know that?" I asked her._

" _Answer the question."_

" _Fine. We talked before he left. He knows that he's in no shape to be a father and the mother was just some random girl he had sex with. From the papers she's not even nineteen. This is his best option and I'm willing to make him my own."_


	25. Chapter 25

#25

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The next morning as I was feeding the kids Happy came walking into the kitchen in dark grey sweat pants and a white t-shirt. I didn't say anything to him as I placed the bowl of oatmeal in front of Vic and Happy kissed the top of Vic's head and sat down in the chair across from him.

"Do you want something?" I asked as I made Mia a bottle and heated up her cereal.

"What do you got?" he asked looking at me for the first time since we talked last night.

"I have fruit and oatmeal for breakfast," I told him as I placed Mia on the kitchen counter and handed her her bottle.

"Oatmeal," he replied before looking at Vic.

We continued in silence through breakfast. The only real conversation happened between Happy and Vic. I sat at the table feeding Mia and not talking. I didn't know what to say after last night. The fight and the confession left me drained and not sure where we stood together. Not that I had been sure about that before but now it was an even bigger question than before.

"Mama can I watch cartoons?" Vic asked turning away from Happy.

"Yeah baby go put your bowl in the sink first," I told him with a small smile.

With a smile and a nod of his head he ran up to the sink and put the bowl inside before running out to the small living room.

When I heard him turn on the TV I looked at Happy as he ate his oatmeal in silence.

"I think you should go back," I told him before wiping off Mia's face.

"Why?" he questioned not looking up from his bowl.

"Because you don't want to be here and I'm not sure if I want you here right now."

"Don't tell me how I feel Lela," he replied with a small thud of his spoon being slammed into the table.

"I know you Happy. You want to want to be here, but you can't help how you feel. You want to be back in Charming with everyone else and I don't want to go back. I'm thinking about moving here."

"When were you going to let me in on all this shit? You think I'm going to let you take my kids away from me?" he growled.

"Damn it Happy I'm not taking them away from you. It'd be just like before but I would have Mia. Your heart isn't here, it's with your brothers. I knew what I was signing up for when we got together and now I'm trying to do what's best for us and our kids."

"Whatever you have to tell yourself. But you're not taking my kids."

"Just please trust me on this?" I begged him.

"Why? I trusted you before and look where that got us," he replied before picking his spoon back up.

Taking a deep breath I tried to think of what to tell him.

"My dad called me. He said to get out of town, that something was building and he didn't want another kid caught in the crossfire. I believe him Hap, he's never even acknowledged that I was his before this call and he sounded desperate."

"Your dad's a crazy old man Lela. He spends more time drinking than actually giving a shit about his kids."

"I know that, probably better than anyone. But I need to trust him this time."

"So you're going to trust some crazy old man to keep you away from your home?"

"What home Hap? It'd just be a house where we would fight and if this pregnancy progresses what then?"

The conversation ended with silence. The only sounds were Mia's random babblings and the sounds from the TV.

"Would you still be around if this baby wasn't yours?" I whispered.

He took a deep breath and put his spoon back down on the table. Before looking up at me.

"Why are we talking about this?"

"Because there's a very real chance that this baby could not be yours Hap and we haven't talked about it."

"Why would I want to talk about my wife screwing around on me?" he questioned.

"You think I wanted to talk to talk about my husband screwing around on me and having a kid with someone else? Karma's a bitch Hap," I told him getting up and picking Mia up.

"So is that why you screwed him? To get back at me for a mistake that I made over a year ago?" he questioned.

"Just leave Hap," I told him before walking out of the room.

Walking into the bedroom I began to undress Mia. When she was left in her diaper I walked into the bathroom and started the shower.

"Come on little girl lets go shower," I told her as I sat her on the counter and began to get undressed.

After putting my hair up in a high bun and testing the water I took off Mia's diaper. Stepping into the spray while holding her with one arm, using my other I cupped my hand and let it fill with water. Slowly letting the water fall from my hand and on to her hair. There was a giggle before the bathroom door opened.

I ignored him as he closed the door behind him and began to get undressed. Opening the glass door he stood there.

"Give her to me," I said holding out his hands.

"I'm trying to shower her," I told him as I continued to use my hands to get her wet.

"You didn't eat. So give her to me and go eat," he said simply before taking Mia out of my hands.

"Fine," I told him before stepping out of the shower.

Wrapping a fluffy white towel around my body I watched as he stepped into the shower and started to wash Mia.

Turning back around I opened the door and walked out to the bedroom. Drying myself off I put on a sports bra and a pair of black compression pants. Walking to the kitchen I stopped off in the living room to make sure Vic was okay.

"How ya doin baby?" I asked running my fingers through his curls.

"Mom," he whined.

"What?" I whined back at him.

"Stop playing with my hair," he whined back.

"I'm your mother I can do what I want," I told him before bending down to kiss the top of his head.

Walking into the kitchen I made myself some oatmeal and topped it with berries. Leaning against the counter I ate in silence.

"Mama," Vic said walking into the kitchen.

"Yeah baby?" I asked him as I ate.

"Is Dad taking Mia and leaving again?" he asked from his spot in the doorway.

"Why would you ask that?" I asked him as I sat my bowl on the counter.

"Because I heard you guys talking," he replied.

"Baby your Dad isn't taking Mia anywhere. Your Dad is just going to go back to Charming," I told him.

"But I don't want him to go back. Why can't we just stay here together?" he asked.

Sighing I squatted down so that I was at his eye level.

"Baby your Dad has a job to do. And that job is in Charming."

"Why can't we go back with him?"

"Because we are moving here for a bit. It will be me and you and Mia."

"I don't want to move here though. I want to go home with Dad," he yelled before running off.


	26. Chapter 26

#26

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The next two days were spent with Vic not talking to me. He clung to Happy when he walked out the door the afternoon after our fight, but he forced Vic off of him and I had to carry him into the house kicking and screaming as Happy drove off.

Vic not talking to me was a foreign thing, he was always talking even when he couldn't say words he would babble. The silent treatment he gave me had created a deafening silence in the small trailer.

So here I was sitting in the living room watching a kids show with Mia while Vic was in his room playing with his toys. I had hoped that the bribe of going into town and getting ice cream would bring him out of the silence but it did nothing. Looking at the clock on the wall I saw that it was almost bed time when I heard someone knocking on the door. I knew it was real when both Buzz and Jesse started barking. Feeling the fear bubble a little I picked up Mia and walked down the hall to Vic's room.

"Someone's at the door. Keep your sister in here," I told him as I sat her on his floor next to him.

Closing his door I walked back out to the living room and turned off the TV. There was a more urgent knocking as I walked up to the pale red door where both dogs still stood barking at whoever it was. Taking a deep breath I opened it.

There he was the last person I had wanted to see today or ever. I stood there frozen in the door way for a few minutes.

"You okay there?" he asked with a half smile.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked him stepping outside of the house and closing the screen door behind me so that the dogs couldn't get out.

"I got worried. You disappeared on me there Lela."

"How did you find me Danny?"

"I asked around. Seems I wasn't the only one looking for you either babe."

"Jesus does anyone know you're here?"

"Not that I know of, but why are you all the way out here?"

"Me and Hap are taking sometime apart. I'm up here with my kids and the dogs," I explained.

"Did he hurt you?"

"Jesus no Danny. God Hap's not that type of guy."

"I've heard stories about those guys Lela. If he hurt you I know some people that can help."

"Just stop Danny. You want to know why I'm up here? I'm fucking pregnant you asshole."

"Your what?" he asked looking like he had been sucker punched.

"I'm pregnant. There's a bun in the oven and all the other shit people say. You happy now?"

"Jesus is it mine?"

"I'm not sure. It's either you or Hap, but we won't know just yet or ever. I'm not sure if I want to know."

"Jesus, I don't think I can be a father Lela," he said running a hand through his long dark hair.

"I know. I was there for your divorce, both of them remember? I'm not asking for you to do anything or to have any part of the kid's life. In fact I'd be okay if you weren't a part of anything."

"You sure? I can help or something if he's not willing to."

"It's fine Danny. Even if he doesn't want to help I still make enough with the clubs and the studio to be okay. So why'd you come out here really?" I asked him.

"There's been some talk floating around. A couple guys were asking around about you and I've heard some stuff about what Happy's club is getting into. Just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said while pulling a cigarette carton out of his pocket.

"What did the guys want?" I asked not missing a beat.

"I guess you were some party entertainment a few years back for them. Said you were real good and that they had another party they wanted you to do for them," he said while lighting a cigarette.

"Fuck. Has anyone talked to them?" I asked feeling my heart race and rubbing my temples with both hands.

"Not sure. I know that some people told them that you could be reached through Happy."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I muttered closing my eyes and leaning against the screen door.

"Why are they looking for you?" he asked blowing smoke out.

"I did some shit a while back I'm not exactly proud of. I haven't even told Happy about this."

"What kind of shit?"

"The kind that I could have gotten arrested for if I had gotten caught. Look thanks for uh coming by and telling me but you should go now."

"Okay, call if you need anything?" he asked as he stubbed out his cigarette and stepped off the small patio.

"I will thanks. Look if those guys come back around, don't tell them where I am or anything. I wasn't exactly in the best of company when I made those decisions."

"Course. I'll always lie for you," he said with a smirk before walking back to his car.

Smiling I watched as he drove away. When I couldn't see his car anymore I went back inside and closed the door. Making sure it was locked I turned around and saw Vic and Jesse standing in front of me.

"Hi baby," I said giving him a small smile.

"Are you having a baby?" he asked while gripping Jesse's light purple collar.

"Why do you ask that?"

"I heard you talking to that man outside."

Sighing I turned him around.

"Come on little man lets go sit down and talk," I said placing my hands on his shoulders and pushing him towards the couch.

Sitting down I looked at him.

"Well are you?" he asked again.

"It's more complicated than that baby," I tried to explain.

Before we could say anything I heard a motorcycle pull up to the house. Both dogs started to bark as a key turned and opened the door.

"Vic go take the dogs back into your room with your sister," I told him before Happy opened his mouth.

"Yes ma'am," he said before grabbing hold of Jesse's collar and walking back to his room.

I stood up and hugged myself waiting for Vic to close his door or for Happy to say something. finally Vic had closed his door and I looked from the hallway to Happy and back again making sure that the kids and dogs were in the room.

"What do you know?" I asked him.

"What the fuck did you do with those guys?" he yelled.

"We needed the money Hap. You were inside and we had a new baby and your Mom's money was going to doctor's bills. I was desperate," I said in an attempt to explain.


	27. Chapter 27

#27

A/N: I know this probably won't be a favorite secret that's coming out but I looked at it realistically and well this seemed like the best option considering Lela is a stripper and she was basically hiding out till Happy got out.

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"What do you know?" I asked him.

"What the fuck did you do with those guys?" he yelled.

"We needed the money Hap. You were inside and we had a new baby and your Mom's money was going to doctor's bills. I was desperate," I said in an attempt to explain.

"Then why the fuck didn't you go to the club Lela, that's what the fuck they are there for when I'm inside," he yelled.

"Because I didn't need their help Happy. I had shit under control but Vic had gotten sick and your mom had just been diagnosed and we needed to pay the god damn doctors. So I took a couple pills and did what I had to do to provide for our family."

"Jesus you were getting high too?" he questioned.

"Oh don't act all surprised Happy. You knew about the pills, you've always known about the pills. Your just pissed that there was a secret you didn't know about," I said walking into the living room.

"How many where there?"

"For what? The party or how many times did I do it?" I asked as I picked up the kids toys.

"How many times did you whore yourself out saying it was for the good of the family?"

"Don't even go there, I know what you do Happy. So you want to talk about doing irresponsible shit for the family then let's go there honey," I throwing one of Mia's stuffed yellow fuzzy ducks at him.

"Don't throw shit at me bitch," he growled.

"Then don't say moronic shit dickhead."

"How many times?" he said again while gripping the back of the small navy colored cloth couch.

"It was a couple times and then I started referring them to other girls. You happy now?"

"A couple times? You fucked other men for money a couple times and you're saying it like it's nothing."

"Oh please Happy the first time we fucked I had just gotten done filming a movie for Luann. So please honey don't act like it's some huge surprise that I've screwed other people for money. The only difference between then and now was that you didn't know about it."

After a few minutes of silence he looked up at me.

"Where are the kids?" he rasped.

"In Vic's bedroom why?"

"Because I'm taking them back with me," he said before starting to walk down the hall.

"What do you mean you're taking them back with you? You aren't taking my kids Happy," I said following him.

"Well they sure as shit aren't staying with your whore ass," he replied as I grabbed his arm and tried to turn him around.

"You take those kids and I'm calling the cops. I'm sure your new sheriff friend would be happy as hell to throw your ass in jail on kidnapping charges."

"They are my kids too Lela."

"I'm the only one on Mia's birth certificate. Your name was never put on there, her mother was smart about something. And you aren't on Vic's either. So take your chances, but in all legal sense you are not those kids father."

"You stupid bitch," he said punching the wall by my head.

"You wanna hit me Hap? Wanna feel like you're a big strong man, then go ahead and hit me. But you just remember that you fuck up one more time, just one more time and I'm gone for good. I will take those kids and we will disappear and you and your little club will never find us," I whispered to him.

Before he said anything I felt the back of his hand brush along the side of my face before he stopped at my neck and I felt his fingers wrap around it. I stiffened as I felt his fingers wrap around and he leaned in close so that he was talking into my ear.

"Don't threaten me Lela. You won't like me when I'm backed into a corner. I won't take them now, but don't test me," he whispered.

Pulling away he kissed my cheek and walked back down the hall and opened the door to Vic's room.

Taking in a deep breath I closed my eyes and held it for a minute.


	28. Chapter 28

#28

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The rest of the night was spent in silence. We didn't say a word till Happy put Vic to bed and he came out to the front porch baby monitor in hand. I felt his dark eyes on me as I watched the dogs sniff around the yard and driveway.

"Why did you marry me?" I whispered.

He didn't answer for a few minutes just continued to stare at me.

"Because I love you, that's why," he replied.

"That doesn't answer the question Hap, you can love someone but not marry them. Seriously why? Was it the baby or your Mom? Why'd you agree to this?"

"Why do you want to know Lela?"

"Do you know what it's like to spend every day for over a decade wondering why the one person you've loved for all your adult life is with you? Its pure hell Hap," I told him.

"Why are you still on this Lela?"

"Because we've been together for over a decade and I don't know why your with me. The girls you cheat on me with are nothing like me, they are the girls that work for me. I mean what am I supposed to think when you go around fucking fake blondes with fake tits and then you come home to me?"

"Why's this a big deal now?"

"Because I'm at a point where I need to start thinking about the future, for us and for our kids and for this baby," I said whispering the last part.

"Honestly?" he asked.

Nodding my head I looked at him.

"I'm not sure. Everything with you was a gut move, never steered me wrong before."

"So what you regret it now?" I asked.

"You don't want the answer to that. Mia's waking up," he said before standing up and walking back in the house.

Sighing I whistled for the dogs and stood up. I opened the door as both dogs came running up the porch and into the house. Walking back inside after they came in I closed the door and locked it. Turning off the lights I slowly made my way to the bedrooms. I looked in on Vic who was sound asleep and left the door open for Jesse to go in. Walking into the bedroom I left the door open a little for Vic and saw Happy standing by the window.

"I thought Mia was awake?" I asked him.

"She was," he said before turning around and took off his shirt.

"I love you Happy, I always have. I'm not proud of the shit that I did while you were inside, but I did what I had to make sure our family survived while you were gone."

"There was never a time that I regretted us. Not when Tig got pissed and not when you told me who your Dad was. But that shit tonight," he said stopping before he could finish the sentence.

"You were going to take my kids from me Hap. When you decide that you need some time from playing husband and father they are all I have. I'm sorry that I said they weren't yours, but I was scared. Hell I still am."

"We aren't talking about this go to sleep," he said while taking off his pants and throwing them at the hamper in the corner.

Sighing I looked down at Mia and saw that she was sleeping in the bassinet. Slowly I began to change out of my clothes and into a loose grey v-neck and got in bed. Sitting in bed I watched as Happy left the room. I heard him walking around the trailer and checking the doors and windows. When he came back in he closed the door a little and turned back to look at me.

"I'm scared Hap, I'm really scared. There's just this pit of dread in my stomach and I don't know what to do next or what's going to happen. I just know that anytime someone comes up here or I hear my phone ring I begin to panic because I think something's happened to you or Tig or my Dad," I told him feeling my throat constrict and my voice break.

"There's always going to be something Lela. That's the life we live," he said getting into bed next to me.

"I know. And I've never had this feeling before because I knew that you'd try to make everything better. But whatever's happening with us I just."

"Nothing's going to happen. You moved out here to make sure of that. You left your life and businesses and uprooted our kids because of it."

"What if all that was a mistake? What if we just slowly break away because I moved our family out here?"

"Where's all this coming from Lela?" he asked laying down.

"Us, this is coming from us. I don't want us to end up hating each other because of this or the baby."

"Is this about the baby?" he asked sitting up.

"It's about everything not just the baby. But it does play into it."

"Why are you worried about the baby?"

"Because I'm scared we won't be the same after this baby. And I need you in my life Hap, our kids need you in their lives."

"I'm not leaving the kids. Now go to sleep," he said before laying back down and turning of the lamp on the side table.

Sighing I turned off my lamp and laid down next to him. I stared at the black ceiling till I felt Happy turn. I knew he was still awake but we both said nothing and laid there in silence.

I felt his hand move my shirt up. He stopped at my stomach and laid his hand on my little bump. Smiling I turned my head to face him and looked at his calm face.


	29. Chapter 29

#29

A/N: holy shit chapter 29 and I'm not even close to done with this story. Leave comments of what you would like to see happen I'm always open to knowing what you guys would like to see happen in this. I love your comments.

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It was a month before anyone came to see me after Happy left the morning after our fight.

I had just put Mia down for a nap and Vic was working on his school work. I decided to homeschool him while we were at the trailer, there was a need to keep my kids close to me at all times. I heard the bike pull up but I didn't pay any attention it thinking that it was just Happy here to see the kids.

"Baby girl!" Tig yelled from outside the house.

That was enough to make both dogs start barking madly.

"Jesus Christ Tig don't yell like a god damn maniac," I yelled walking out the front door.

"Sorry baby girl. How are ya?" he asked smiling at me before pulling me into a hug.

"Just peachy unless you woke up Mia. Then I'm going to be pissed as hell," I said smiling at him as we pulled away.

"Look at you growing another human," he said with a smile putting his hand on my growing bump.

"Yeah, this one's a kicker. How are ya old man?" I asked him as we walked inside the trailer.

"I'm doin' fine. Just came up to see you and the kids," he said sitting down in the living room.

"Tell me the real reason Tig. I've known you long enough to know you don't just stop by," I said sitting down in the recliner next to the couch he was sitting on.

"Shit just got a little crazy baby. So your old man told me some stuff."

"Jesus what'd he tell you?" I asked getting annoyed.

"Really you hooked yourself out?" he asked looking at me.

"He wasn't supposed to tell you that Tiggy. Hell he wasn't even supposed to know."

"Why'd you do it baby? If you needed money you could of come to me," he replied.

"I didn't know where you were Tig and I just had Vic. I didn't want it getting back to Hap while he was inside that we were struggling when he had enough to worry about. So I did what I had to do," I explained.

"Still baby girl. Of all the things you could of done you chose that?" he questioned.

"Look it's in the past. I haven't done it in years and I won't ever do it again. So can you drop it please?" I pleaded.

"Mama can I have lunch?" Vic asked coming into the room.

"Yeah baby. Maybe Grandpa Tig will make you something?" I questioned giving Tig a smile.

"Please Grandpa?" Vic questioned giving him his best puppy dog eyes under his mop of black curls.

"Sure kid," Tig replied with a smile before picking him up and walking into the kitchen.

Smiling I sat there listening to them laughing and talking in the kitchen. A few minutes later they each walked in with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"You happy baby?" I asked the little boy.

"Can I watch cartoons?" he asked through a mouthful of sandwich.

"Yes and don't talk with your mouth full," I said getting up and turning on the TV for him.

"Grandpa who gonna stay in here and watch TV?" I asked.

"Maybe for a bit," Tig said not looking back at me.

Smiling I left the room and went out front. Sitting down on the front steps. I was there for all of five minutes before I heard another bike pull up. Looking up I watched as Buzz ran out of the open door and stood wagging his tail waiting for the bike to stop. I watched as the rider took of his helmet. I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face as I saw Happy scratch Buzz behind the ear and walk towards me.

"What's up Big Man?" I asked.

"Just came to see you and the kids," he said leaning forward to kiss me on the lips briefly.

"Two big bikers in one day whatever is a girl to do?" I questioned laughing at him.

"Tig here?" he asked sitting on the step below me.

"Yeah he's inside with Vic watching cartoons and eating peanut butter and jellies. "You want something to eat?" I questioned wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Nah I'm good. Got something in town. How you feelin?" he asked wrapping a hand around my own clasped hands.

"I'm okay. Tired, sore. This baby kicks a lot so that's fun. How are you?" I asked kissing his head feeling the stubble.

"Tired. Lot of shit happening, stopped by Ma's for a bit. She say's hi misses you and the kids."

"Maybe you can take them one of these days. They'd really like a trip with you," I said watching Buzz sniff around the yard.

After a few silent moments Buzz came back up to the porch and laid down next to me.

"How long you here for?" I whispered.

"Couple days," he answered.

"Think you can watch the kids for a couple hours tomorrow?" I asked.

"Why?"

"I uh have an appointment tomorrow for the baby. I get to find out whether it's a boy or girl," I whispered.

After another few silent moments I felt him take a deep breath before kissing my hands still around his neck.

"Can I come?" he questioned in a whisper.

That took me by surprise.

"You really want to come?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I mean we never got this far with the others."

I smiled against his head kissing it and fighting the tears.

"I'd really like it if you went with. Maybe we can get Tig to watch them otherwise it's going to be a big family event," I said still smiling.

"Baby girl the little girl is awake," Tig said from the doorway.

"Okay I'm comin'," I said before kissing Happy's head again and using him to stand up.


	30. Chapter 30

#30

A/N: So I made a tumblr for this story. I am working on getting pictures of outfits and Vic and Mia up but I do have a picture of Buzz and Jesse up . Here's the link I hope you all enjoy!

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I don't think I'd ever had a more sleepless night than that night. As much as I was looking forward to knowing what the sex of the baby was I was nervous as hell about Happy being there. I didn't know if it was the fact that for once we were experiencing something totally and completely new together or if it was the looming threat of the baby not being his. Before I knew it, it was seven thirty and Mia was starting to wake up. Sighing I got up and walked over to the pac-n-play she was sleeping in.

"What's the matter baby girl? Are we hungry?" I asked as I picked her up.

Looking at her it was hard to believe that she was almost a year old. Her hair was getting darker and curlier, it seemed the older she got the more she started to take characteristics of Happy. She was definitely his daughter, she gave you a mean look when she was mad.

"What do you want to eat? Do we want some oatmeal to throw around or maybe some fruit to throw around?" I asked her as we walked down the hallway.

The only sound in the house was the sounds of both Happy and Tig snoring and the birds outside.

Sitting her on the counter I started the coffee pot, being pregnant had forced me down to one regular sized cup of coffee a morning.

"Mama," she said clapping her hands together.

"What baby girl? Want some milk?" I asked as I got her pink and purple sippy cup from the drying rack and walked to the kitchen.

I listened as someone woke up and went to the bathroom and as the dogs came walking into the kitchen as I filled her cup with milk. Twisting the purple lid on I closed the door with my hip and handed the cup to Mia before setting her on the ground.

"Mornin' baby girl," Tig rasped walking into the kitchen wearing a pair of black sweat pants and a grey wife beater.

"Morning. What do you want for breakfast?" I asked as I filled up my coffee cup.

"Coffee and scotch."

"I only have one of those," I replied smiling as I grabbed him a cup and filled it.

"How are you doin baby?" he asked taking the coffee from me.

"I'm okay. Didn't sleep much, which reminds me can you watch the kids for a couple hours?" I asked.

"Sure why?"

"I . . . uh have an appointment for the baby and Hap wants to go with."

"Wow kid how ya feel about that?" he questioned.

"Honestly I'm scared shitless. I mean besides this pregnancy actually seeming to go smoothly I could still lose my husband."

"He's not going to leave you kid, he loves you to much."

We stood there drinking our coffees and watching as Mia pulled things out of cabinets.

"You remember when I was younger and I had told you what my goal in life was?" I asked him.

"Yeah, why?" he questioned.

"My one goal in life was to not be my mother and here I am at twenty-nine and I am her. I cheated on the man I love who I have a beautiful little boy with and what was it all for? A few moments of good sex?"

Before he could answer Happy clearing his throat from the doorway where he stood drew our attention.

"Da," Mia squealed when she saw him and started to waddle towards him.

"Give us a minute?" he asked Tig as he picked up Mia.

"Yeah, gotta have a smoke anyways," Tig replied nodding before walking out of the room.

Waiting till we heard the front door open and close Happy looked at me.

"Is that what you think? That your like your mom?" he asked walking towards me still holding a smiling Mia.

"I know the facts Hap and they match up. You want some coffee?" I asked hoping to change the subject.

"No and look at me Lela," he said grabbing my arm.

"I know what I am Hap it's just a matter of time before I become her. I mean I hated the idea of Mia," I pointed out as I ran my hands through her soft curls.

"And now you're her Mother. Hell last month you threatened to call the cops on me if I took her. You aren't your mother, if anything your more some twisted form of Tig and my mom," he said with a smirk.

"Better not let your mom hear you say that," I said laughing at his joke.

"When's your appointment?" he asked going to sit down at the table.

"In a couple hours. Tig said that he would watch the kids while we were at the appointment."

Nodding he put Mia on top of the table to watch as I walked around the kitchen. A few minutes later Vic came into the kitchen rubbing his eyes with both of his little hands.

"Hey little man," I said smiling before bending down and kissing him on the cheek.

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A/N: So I was totally going to make this chapter way longer but my non morning person self has to wake before the sun comes up, so yay me Anyways what do you think the baby will be? A boy or girl? Leave your thoughts please and thank you.


	31. Chapter 31

#31

A/N: Just a reminder I have created a tumblr for this story. So far I have a picture of Buzz and Jesse up, Lela's outfits and hair for chapters 1-5. I have some pictures I plan on putting up also that are just random but I feel like fit with the story but not enough to write them in. Here's a link to the tumblr:

As always enjoy the story and please review! Now back to our regular scheduled programing.

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A few hours later we sat in the small waiting room of the doctor in town. I don't know who was more nervous me or Happy. There we were sitting together in waiting room and were confronted with the truth of everything.

"I've already been a shitty mom Hap," I whispered to him.

"What?" he questioned stopping his shaking leg.

"This is the first time I've been to a doctor since Tara told me I was pregnant. What kind of shitty person does that? I mean can't they take your kid from you for that?" I asked getting scared.

"Lela Caymen," a nurse called from the door beside the reception desk.

Forcing a smile on my face I stood up with the help of Happy and grabbed his hand as we followed the nurse to the back.

"Just going to weigh you real quick and get some vitals," she said with a sweet smile as she led us to a small room off the hallway.

Stepping on the scale I held my breath and refused to look at the number. After she wrote it down she proceeded to take my temperature and blood pressure.

"Okay right this way to your room. The doctor will be in in a few minutes," she said with another sweet smile.

Smiling and nodding my head we walked into the room and I sat on the table. After leaving us I turned to Happy.

"What if they take the baby Hap? What if they take Vic and Mia?" I asked.

"No one's taking the kids or the baby. With your history it's not exactly uncommon to not want to go to the doctor's every week. And you have the other two kids to take care of, just breathe," he said cupping my face with both his hands before kissing me on my forehead.

"Knock, knock," came a cheery voice as the doctor entered the room.

Pulling away I forced a smile on my face.

"I'm Dr. James, I'm guessing you're the mom to be and your dad?" he asked as he sat down on the small rolling stool.

"Lela and this is my husband Happy," I said as we shook hands.

"Nice to meet you guys. So how are we feeling?" he asked.

"A little achey and anxious. I just need to know if everything is alright with the baby," I replied stroking my bump.

"Well lets lay down and I'll take a look. How are you Dad?" he asked standing up and walking to the ultrasound machine in the corner.

"He's away a lot for work. It's usually just me and our two older kids," I answered squeezing Happy's hand.

"Okay well unbutton your pants and lift up your shirt and we will see this little baby," he said with a smile.

Nodding my head I unbuttone my light blue destroyed low rise boyfriend jeans and pulling my light grey V-neck t-shirt up and over the bump.

"Lay back please. Now this might be a little cold," he said as he put a towel around my open jeans and shook the gel.

Feeling the cold gel hit my skin I instantly jumped a little and goosebumps formed.

"How far along are you?" he asked as he moved the probe.

"I should be about five months," I replied feeling the fear build inside.

When he didn't say anything after I held my breath and continued to squeeze the shit out of Happy's hand. Even when the sound of the heartbeat filled the room and the tears formed in my eyes that didn't make me feel any better.

"When was your last ultrasound?" he asked typing things into the pictures.

"When I found out I was pregnant. So I guess around two months. Why is there something wrong?" I asked my voice laced with fear.

"Actually it seems you are further along than you thought," he said freezing the screen.

"What? How? I went to a doctor, she's in prenatal surgery."

"You ma'am are six months along. Sometimes these things happen when you're early in the pregnancy. But it seems your baby is right on track, little big but babies come in all sizes. Would you like to know the sex?" he asked with a smile.

"Are you sure the baby is alright? I mean I was smoking and drinking, and I have a history of miscarriages. Are you sure this baby is okay?" I asked again.

"Your baby is just fine. You two will have a beautiful baby. Now would you like to know what your having?" he asked again with a smile.

Smiling I nodded and wiped away the few tears that had slipped by with the sleeve of the navy blue cardigan I was wearing. The room was silent except for the wooshing of the baby's heartbeat as the doctor looked. I looked back at Happy, his eyes trained on the screen and his jaw tense.

"Here we are. Seems your little one is very happy to be showing us themselves," he said freezing the screen again.

"So what are we having?" I asked feeling the anxiety build.

"Congrats parents you guys are having a little boy. Would you like a picture?" he asked with a smile.

"Yes of course," I replied feeling my face stretch into a smile.

"I'll print these out and wipe you down," he said as he started to press some buttons before wiping the gel off my stomach.

Sitting up I pulled my hand from Happy's and finished wiping the gel off as the pictures printed.

"Here you are Mom. I will see you guys in a month, my secretary will call you to schedule an appointment. But unless something feels wrong, or just not right you should have a perfectly healthy pregnancy," he said smiling as he handed me a few pictures.

"Thank you so much. This, these mean a lot to us," I told him holding up the pictures.

"It's my pleasure Mrs. Caymen. I'll let you two have a moment alone," he said before walking out of the room.

When the door closed I looked up at Happy who was stone faced.

"Are you okay?" I questioned in a whisper.

"Did you think it wasn't mine based off of what Tara told you?" he asked staring at the screen which still held the baby's image.

"Yes," I replied with a slight nod.

"So if your further along than she told you?" he questioned.

"Oh my god," I whispered my hand covering my mouth.

We stood there in the room digesting what had been figured out.

"That fucking bitch," I whispered.

"What?"

"She almost destroyed my marriage. Our lives together, our kids lives. All because of some diluted scenario she thought of when we were teenagers. I'm so sorry Hap, I let her do this to us," I sobbed into his chest.

Wrapping his arms around me we stayed like that as I cried.

"We're having a little boy," he whispered into my hair.

"What?" I questioned pulling away from him.

"Me and you are having a boy. A tiny human with an even tinier dick," he rasped laughing at the end.

"Jesus Hap," I said laughing at his comment.

"Don't think about the bitch okay? This is about me and you now, and our two boys and little girl."

"Jesus, we are going to have two boys," I said in surprise as I got off the table, my strappy black heels hitting the ground.

"You okay with that?" he asked smirking at me.

"You're just eating this up aren't you?" I questioned with a smile on my face and we walked out of the office.

"Bet your ass I am," he whispered coming up behind me and squeezing my ass.

"Not now Happy," I squealed as we walked to the SUV.


	32. Chapter 32

Okay third times the charm hopefully. Fingers crossed you guys that it works this time!

blog/markersandclubsofficial

And if that doesn't work we can always go old fashioned and put this in and just take the spaces out.

markersandclubsofficial. tumblr. com

Fingers crossed this works now!


	33. Chapter 33

#32

A/N: Just thought that I would put this out there. I did not mean for this story to rip off other stories and if you feel like I ripped off your story I do apologize because that's always a dick move to take someone else's work. But this is my first SOA story I usually write ones for a soap opera so there's always a mess and I enjoy those types of stories. And if this story isn't for you it's no big deal that's the beauty of fan fiction though, there's a bunch of stories out there that have your favorite characters and you aren't just stuck with one story.

Sorry for the rant now back to our regular scheduled programing.

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That night I sat in bed playing with Mia as Happy put Vic to bed.

"What are we going to do little girl? This place is small and you don't even have your own crib. You are in a pac-n-play and your brother is on a mattress and a box spring. And with your little brother coming what's going to happen?" I asked brushing some of her dark hair away from her eyes.

"Kids finally down," Happy mumbled before walking into the room and getting into bed.

"I think I'm going to move," I replied after a few silent moments.

"Where the fuck now?" he questioned before turning over to face me.

"I'm not sure but we don't even have a crib for Mia Happy. She sleeps in a fucking play pen in our room, at a year old she deserves to have her own room or at least a decent fucking bed," I told him as I got up and put Mia to bed.

"Then move back home," he replied sounding annoyed.

"I'm selling that place," I told him as I covered Mia with a hot pink and cheetah print blanket.

"What the fuck do you mean you're selling the place?" he yelled sitting up.

"I mean I'm putting that house on the market and I'm going to be getting a new one. What a part of that don't you understand?" I asked getting annoyed.

"The part where your selling our fucking house," he yelled out again.

"How about I'm not a moron Happy. I know that you've been fucking women left and right since I've been up here. I also know that you guys are getting into some deep shit. So yeah I'm going to sell the damn place, it's all built on lies anyways."

"Jesus fuck is this what that's all about the other women?"

"I've never given a shit Happy, never. Hell I loved that about you because it meant that I had some freedom still and that I wasn't going to be some dumb fuck cliché. But here I am with two kids and another on the way and I'm still with the same guy that's been fucking around on me. Somehow my life became all about you and then it became all about you and Vic and now it's all about you and Vic and Mia."

"So what you're just going to run away like your Mom did? Or are you just going to take Vic and split with the new kid?"

"Fuck you dick. I would never walk out on those kids. I told you I would try and you being here just part of the time and sometimes being with the kids it doesn't work for me or them. You need to focus on being their father and just being present for them. I had you for ten years and I loved every moment of it, but I think it's their turn," I told him before getting back into bed next to him.

"You sure?" he asked after a few minutes of us sitting next to each other in silence.

"I was watching you watch the screen at the ultrasound earlier. I saw something in you that I have never seen before Hap. I saw fear and I don't like seeing that look in your eyes. I don't care what you voted Hap but I can't have everything that's happening come back to me and the kids. Seeing you afraid showed me that it was more serious than I thought," I told him as I watched his expression change from hurt to stone before he laid back down.

Silently following his lead and laying down next to him.

"Do you hate me?" I whispered as he turned off his lamp.

"Don't think I could if I tried," he whispered back wrapping and arm around me and bringing me to his side.

Sighing I laid my head on his chest.

"I'm so sorry Hap."

"You're just doing what you have to do. Are you going to go far?" he asked.

"Not really. I don't even have a place lined up yet."

"Did you just get lost in it all?" he asked as his fingers danced on the side of the bump.

"I think I did. I was considering selling the clubs and my share of the studio and then seeing him move around I remembered why I bought them. I don't want to be twenty-three year old me or even eighteen year old me where I have to strip or fuck other guys to make ends meet when shit gets tough for us. I want our kids to have one parent not in and out of jail their whole lives. I don't want my son's to come home from school one day hating me because their friends or some dick at school saw my tits or saw a movie I was in, and now with Mia. I don't want that future for her Hap, I want her and the boys to do better than we ever thought was possible."

"You know we're just trying to make shit better right?"

"I've heard that my whole life. Sometimes you just have to take things into your own hands and do what you can to protect your kids."

"So what does this mean?" he asked after a few silent minutes.

"It means we be parents to our kids and see where and if that takes us somewhere," I explained before kissing his chest a couple times.


	34. Chapter 34

#33

A/N: So I am back. I felt like I needed a break, to get some ideas figured out because I love this story. Reading all of your comments brings me so much joy especially about the last chapter I was in tears, but in a good way. Thank you so much for still reading and enjoying the story it means the world to me that people other than myself enjoy this story. I have some big things planned so stay tuned my friends

Now back to our regular scheduled programming

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Two weeks later we were attempting to drive back to Charming for Mia's birthday. Sighing I went over the list again as I looked at the piles of clothes on the bed.

"What are you doing?" Happy asked as he slipped his boots off by the bedroom door.

"Well your wanting us to stay down there for a week so I'm trying to make sure we have enough clothes to last that long," I replied leaning forward to count through Mia's onsies again.

"You're over thinking this Lela," he told me as he placed his hand on my bump.

"Do you realize how many times I have to change your daughter? She tries to keep up with your son and the dogs, she's very active. So I have to pack extra things for when she gets dirty. As for your son if he ends up seeing some of the other kids he will try to keep up with them so I have extra clothes for him also," I explained.

"So what's with the pile of your clothes?" he asked pointing to my own clothes.

"I've been reading and just because I'm not that big now doesn't mean that I won't just wake up one day and be the size of a whale. So if that happens while we are down there then I would like to have some clothes that fit myself and your huge ass child."

"Not just my kids Mama," he sighed as he laid down on the bed forcing a pile of my own clothes to fall on top of him

"Get the car packed?" I questioned.

"The dogs shit is in there so is the pac'n'play. You sure you want to come down with both of them and the dogs?"

"Don't go asking me that now Lowman. You deserve to spend your only daughter's birthday week with her," I told him as I packed the two duffle bags.

"We could have another girl you know. We have the boy coming, so the next one could be a girl,"

That simple statement stopped me from closing the bags.

"The next one?" I questioned placing them on the floor.

"This isn't going to be our only baby Lela."

"You want more kids?"

"I already said that."

"It's taking me some time to catch up here Hap. When did you decide you wanted to have more kids?" I asked sitting on the bed.

"Been thinking about it awhile I guess. Thought that you wanted more too."

"I mean at one point yes, but it's been years since I've actually thought that I could have any. The fact that this is even happening still surprises me. I just always saw our family being content with just us and Vic. Don't get me wrong I love that Mia is with us now, but I never thought that we could more kids past Vic."

"What about now?" he questioned.

"Now I just want to get through this pregnancy and see if we actually get a baby at the end of this."

"You scared the kid won't make it out of this alive?" he asked.

"I just know my history and I know that I won't be okay till I have an actual baby in my arms. Why the sudden interest in making plans?"

"Just thinking that's all. You good?"

"I'm good. I uh. . . also wanted to say thank you."

"What for?"

"For talking me out of selling the houses. I know how much I wished that I had stayed in the same house when I was growing up or at least the same two houses. The only house I ever really stayed in consistently was Tig's and that didn't last long. I guess the weight of having the baby a whole month sooner than I planned freaked me out a bit."

"You think the kids are asleep yet?" he asked

"Mia at least is. I might just have to start the drive down with Vic awake but he'll be asleep not long after. And the dogs will fall asleep eventually, or they'll stay up till we get home then pass out."

"Grab your bags and I'll get the kids ready," he replied getting up.

Smiling I finished zipping up the bags and slipped a light black jacket over my white t-shirt and long grey leggings. Walking out to the living room I saw a half asleep Vic trying to put on his shoes as Happy held a sleeping Mia.

"Where we go Mama?" he asked when he looked up at me.

"We are going to go stay with Daddy for a bit. Come on baby," I replied picking him up.

"Don't he need shoes?" Happy asked.

"No he's just going to fall asleep I'll have them up front with me so they are out but he's good."

Nodding his head he turned off the TV and made sure the back door was locked. Slipping on a pair of plain black flip flops I whistled for the dogs and waited for them at the door.

"You ready?" I asked Happy when he came up behind them

"Yeah. Lets go," he replied as he moved Mia's cheetah print blanket over her.

Opening the doors I let the dogs out and picked up Vic's space blanket. Walking up to the car I opened the back door and carefully placed a now asleep Vic in the car. After buckling him in and tucking the blanket in I turned to Happy.

"Give me her and get the dogs in the back," I suggested holding out my arms.

Nodding silently he handed her over to be and went to trunk whistling for the dogs as he did it.

"Come on baby girl lets get you in your seat and tucked in," I whispered as I walked to the other side of the car.

Carefully placing her in her seat and buckling her in I placed her blanket on her tucking it under her legs and arms. When she didn't wake up I breathed a sigh of relief and carefully closed the door the same time that Happy came back out from the house and locked the doors.

"Everything off and locked?" I questioned walking towards him to take the bags from him.

"Yeah, you sure you don't want me to ride with you guys?" he questioned.

"I'm okay with driving with the kids and the dogs Hap. Besides you have your bike and you can't exactly be without that."

"Don't stop for anything. Just stay on the road till we get back to the house."

"I know the drill. Now I have to get going before your kids wake up," I said taking the bags from him and placing them on the floor under the kids feet.

Watching as Happy pulled out I waited a couple minutes till I pulled out and followed him. It was going to be a long drive, made even longer by the fact that I was exhausted.


	35. Chapter 35

#34

A/N: I feel like this wait has been way longer than I intended it to be. If you follow the tumblr then I explained some of what's been going on but in case you didn't get it I'll real quick explain. So my Dad (who is already disabled and I take care of him during the day) was in the hospital and was in three different ICU's all in the week before Christmas. Since no one expected him to be out before Christmas we weren't all that prepared for him to come home, then he came home literally the night before Christmas Eve so it was all a rush to get everything ready for Christmas. And of course he was sick during my week of finals and then this all happened at the start of my break.

I'm not telling you guys all this to make you guys feel sorry for me, I just wanted you all to know that I didn't mean to just drop the story I was actually really excited to be done with school because I had a bunch of stuff planned story wise to go up but I never got the time. I love you all and I love that you guys are into this story and I know I hate it when it seems like people just drop their stories.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programing

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I sighed as I was pulling into a driveway that I hadn't been in for almost four months. The whole trip down I had a pit of dread just building in my stomach, I didn't stop the whole drive.

"You okay?" Happy asked as he opened the drivers door for me.

"It's just been a while since I've been down here is all. I'm going to get the dogs inside, stay out here with the kids?" I asked getting out of the SUV.

"They still asleep?" he questioned looking behind my seat.

"Yeah slept the whole way through," I replied as I opened the trunk.

Both dogs jumped down excitedly wagging their tails as they recognized where they were. Buzz led the way to the front door. Taking out my keys I unlocked the door and pushed it open. Walking through the house and turning on lights I noticed it looked the same as it had when I left it, maybe a little cleaner with a more vacant look. All the pictures that I had placed around where gone probably somewhere in a box in a closet, there were no toys laying around to say to the outside world that there were kids here.

Looking at the dogs I saw them waiting at the back door. Unlocking it and sliding it open I let them out before closing the screen door and walking back to Happy and the kids.

A smile crept on my face when I saw Happy carrying a sleeping Mia with her pink and cheetah print blanket securely wrapped around her with one small fist grasping it for dear life and a blue pacifier securely in her mouth.

As I walked towards them a stream of lights and sirens suddenly appeared in front of us.

"What's going on Happy?" I asked my hands grasping at my bump as I fought the urge to reach for Mia.

"You let me see your hands. Hands in the air," an officer yelled walking towards me gun aimed at me.

Slowly I put up my hands looking in the car as Vic woke up and realized that something was happening. While another took Mia out of Happy's hands. Realizing that someone new was holding her and that something bad was happening started to cry.

Before I had a chance to process anything an officer took a now screaming Vic out of the car and tried to comfort him. I watched feeling helpless as other people tried to comfort my kids while I was being frisked by an officer.

"She's clear," the female officer yelled backing away as the sheriff walked up the drive way.

"Give the lady the kids," he said watching as both the officers struggled to calm the kids down.

The whole time this was going on Happy stood there silently in handcuffs. It had been a long while since I had seen the face he wore right then. When they handed me Mia I instantly started to rock her, her face was beet red from the screaming and she only seemed to get worse.

"Mama!" Vic yelled running towards me.

"Oh baby," I whispered as he threw himself at my legs.

Knowing I couldn't have them both in my arms I bent down and starts kissing him all over his face and telling him that everything would be okay.

"Call the lawyer," Happy said as he was led to one of the sheriff vehicles.

As he was placed in the back of the car I turned my attention back to the kids trying to get them to calm down before either of them got sick.

"Heard you left," the Sherriff said as he walked up to me.

"Are you going to bring me in?" I asked looking up at him.

"Not yet. Is there anyone I call for you to take you back?"

"I'll make my own phone calls thank you. Now if you'll excuse me I have to make sure my kids get some sleep tonight," I told him standing up and grabbing Vic's hand.

"Ask him what he did to get arrested," the Sherriff replied before walking back to his car.

Turning back I watched from the front door as Happy was taken away. When they left the street I walked inside and walked back to the bedroom I had once shared with him. Sitting on the bed I tried to get both kids to calm down.

"It's okay babies, Mama's here," I whispered over and over again.

After what seemed like hours of crying both kids were finally exhausted enough to sleep. Silently I picked up Mia and placed her on Happy's side of the bed and went back to Vic. His face was still red and tear stained, fighting my own tears I picked him up and laid him carefully on my side and tucked them both in.

Carefully closing the door I walked back out to living room and saw that the dogs had broken through the flimsy screen door, no doubt trying to make it out front where all the screaming and sirens were coming from.

Sighing I sat on the floor of the living room and pulled out my cell phone. I waited as the ringing continued on the other line.

"What is it?" his gruff voice asked.

"Something happened and I don't know what to do, I'm alone with the kids and the dogs and I need help Jax. I'm scared and alone and I'm to pregnant to be dealing with this," I cried into the phone.

"What happened? Where are you?" he questioned firing one off the other as I heard him getting up.

"I'm at the house. Happy just got arrested and I just got the kids to sleep, they saw it all happen and I don't know what to do here," I cried feeling silly for coming to him for help.

"I'll be right over, call Tig." He ordered before hanging up.

Silently wiping the tears away with fingers I dialed Tig's number.

"Yeah?" came a short clipped answer when he finally picked up.

"I need you Tig. I'm at the house with the kids and I'm alone and I need you here with me," I whispered.

"What's wrong baby girl?" he questioned suddenly sounding alert.

"Hap got arrested Tig and I just need someone," I told him.

"I'll be right there," he replied before hanging up.

Sitting there I rubbed my bump and waited for the sounds of someone coming. I hated this part, the waiting for something to happen for someone or something to signal that it was going to be alright. I felt a small cramp in my side the same time both men came up the drive way. I waited silently still on the floor as they both came in through the front door.

"What happened Lela?" Jax asked sitting across from me on the coffee table.

"He wanted us to be here for Mia's birthday. I had just gotten the dogs in the back yard when they pulled up. He had Mia in his arms and some cop took her from him and I was searched and another took a screaming Vic out of the car. I don't know it just happened so fast and next thing I know Happy's forced up against the car and I can't get to my kids and I'm scared out of my mind," I explained as best I could as Tig sat next to me on the floor and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Did they say anything?" Jax asked.

"No, not till the end when the Sheriff said to ask why he was arrested. But Hap's not stupid he wouldn't purposefully get arrested when all this other shit is happening," I replied looking between both of the men.

When they didn't answer me but instead shared a look I felt sick to my stomach and another cramp. Something had been planned, something that ended with my husband being arrested while I was pregnant and he was on parole.

"What aren't you telling me?" I demanded struggling to stand up.

"It's nothing you have to worry about Lela. You just need to stay calm okay?" Tig questioned standing up after me.

"Nothing to worry about? I am barely seven months pregnant with a one year old and a seven year old. If I'm going to be alone for god knows how long I deserve to know," I yelled at them

"You don't need to know anything. He agreed to this and he's doing what he has to for the club," Jax replied standing up also.

"Right for the club. Well then you can call the lawyer and his mother. I'm going to lock up my house and try and sleep for a couple hours before my kids wake up and the questions start about where their father is and what happened last night. Thanks for coming gentlemen," I told them forcing a smile on my face.

"Lela," Tig started.

Stopping I raised my hand and took a deep breath forcing down a grimace as another cramp came through.

Opening my eyes I looked at both of the concerned men.

"I am going to bed, if you'll let yourselves out that would be wonderful. This pregnancy is starting to kick my ass and my kids are very active," I told them before whistling for the dogs and walking to the back door.


	36. Chapter 36

#35

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A few hours later I was awoken by the feeling of someone snuggling up to me as I laid on my side. Slowly opening my eyes I saw that it was Mia and she was still asleep. Kissing her hair I slowly brushed my fingers through it, knowing that this small moment of peace wasn't going to last that the chaos of last night had tainted the next few weeks of happiness.

Hearing someone in the kitchen and hushed tones I got out of bed noticing Vic's absence from it. Quietly I walked down the hall and into the living room. Seeing a blanket thrown on the couch and the TV turned on I continued on to the kitchen where the whispers where coming from.

"Where's my Dad?" Vic asked from his spot on the counter.

"He's away kid. Where does your Mom keep the food?" Tig asked looking around the probably empty cabinets.

"We haven't been here in four months Tig I doubt there's anything here that they can eat," I replied answering his question as I walked into the room.

"When'd you get up?' he asked.

"A few minutes ago. The Mommy clock never goes away. Vic go lay with your sister you can watch TV in my room," I said helping the little boy down from the counter.

I waited until I heard Jesse following Vic into my room.

"What are you still doing here Tig?" I asked arms crossing against my chest.

"I wasn't going to just leave you here alone with the kids after last night. Besides we need to talk about some stuff."

"I'm not talking about anything Tig. I have to be done with this at least for right now. This baby is too important to me and I refuse to risk my child's life over something as stupid as him going inside again over a parole violation."

"There's things he has to do Lela. We all need something on the outside to keep our heads straight while we are on the inside, you and those kids are it for him. A man like that can't go in there having lost everything. He'll go in and then come right back out as soon as we can get him out of there."

"That's what you all told Luanne about Otto. Your forgetting I was there that summer when he went in. I know how this works and when someone is as good at their job as Hap is at his they rarely get out when you all say he will."

We stood there in silence the only noise was coming from the TV in the living room and Buzz's nails hitting the floor as he walked around.

"Did you cut yourself last night?" Tig asked looking at me with a worried expression.

"No why?" I asked looking down at my legs where he was looking.

There it was a trail of blood going down my leg. Here it was the beginning of the end, I'd seen it happen this way before. I had hope that maybe because I was further along that this wouldn't happen but here it was.

"Um. Okay I need you to call Gemma or Lyla, just someone to come watch the kids," I told Tig never looking up at him.

"What? Oh. . . yeah. Should you sit down or something?" he asked robotically taking his phone out of his pocket.

"No, the cramps aren't that bad yet. I just need you to get someone here to watch the kids. I am going to go get my purse and kiss my kids while you do that. Can you do that Tig?" I asked making sure he was okay.

"Just go get your bag," he replied.

Nodding my head I walked back to my room. Seeing a still sleeping Mia in bed and Vic silently watching cartoons with Jesse lying next to him I smiled. No matter what happened I still had those two, they were my babies, my first ones.

"Vic," I whispered making sure to not wake up Mia.

Turning away from the TV he looked at me with a blank expression.

"I have to go to the doctors for a bit okay? Can you watch your sister and help whoever comes to watch you guys?" I asked him from the door way.

"What's wrong Mama?" he asked suddenly concerned.

"It's nothing baby. I just have to go to the doctor that takes care of babies while they are in Mommy's tummies. But can you be a big boy for me?" I asked him as I walked over to where he was sitting.

Jesse lifted her head and her tail began to thump on the bed. As I kneeled down I scratched her head and looked at Vic.

"I can help," he stated.

"That's my big boy. Mama loves you okay," I whispered wrapping an arm around him and kissing his curly hair.

"Mom gross," he whined and tried to push me away.

"Sorry I forget sometimes how old you are," I said smiling at him.

"Gemma's here Lela. We should get going," Tig said coming into the room.

Nodding my head I went to the dresser by the door and grabbed it along with my phone on the night stand.

"Be good for Gemma and please help with your sister Vic," I told him as I started for the bedroom door.

"Okay," he replied already lost in whatever show was on.

Sighing I walked back down the hall and saw Gemma picking up Tig's mess from the night before.

"Thanks for coming over at the last minute. I just need to make sure this is what I think it is and see what's going to happen," I told her as I slipped into a black zip up not caring I was in a pair of light grey workout shorts and a cami with no bra.

"Everything is going to be fine here. Just focus on you and that baby," she replied smiling at me.

Nodding my head I went to the front door and put on a pair of black flip flops and waited for Tig by the door.

"Come on baby girl," he said giving me a sad smile and placing a hand on my back as we walked to the car.

The drive to the hospital was silent. I spent most of it trying to avoid any contact with the bump and looking outside the passenger window as he drove.

"I thought that I'd get to keep this one," I told him as we hit a stop light.

"You are."

"No I'm not Tig. I've been through this to many times to have that type of faith. After this I'm done, I'm happy with Vic and Mia I don't need anymore."

"Shouldn't you be telling this to Happy?" he questioned as he turned on the blinker.

"We don't talk about this. I mean we get excited and are happy but we don't talk about the miscarriages and if we want to try again. They just sort of happen," I explained turning my head to look at him.

"You should probably talk about that shit baby girl."

"We should probably already be divorced. But we aren't that type of couple. It's always been if it happens it happens and we'll go from there."

After a few silent minutes he stopped the car and turned it off.

"We're here. You okay?" he asked

"No I'm not but I don't have a choice here," I replied picking uo my bag and opening the car door.

Silently we walked into the ER.

"Can I help you?" a nurse at the desk asked.

"Lela?" Tara asked as she walked out of the double doors.

"Hi Tara. Um I need to check in," I said turning back to the nurse.

"What's wrong?" Tara asked coming up to us.

"I think I'm having a miscarriage, I'm not sure though," I told her suddenly feeling nervous.

"Mara I need you to page whoever's on call for OB and I need someone to do her intake papers," Tara said something instantly clicking in her.

I silently followed her into the back as she told other nurses what she needed. Once I got in a bed she closed the curtain behind her and turned to me.

"Are you okay?" she asked looking sincere.

"Honestly I'm trying not to think about it. This would have been the furthest I've ever gotten with a pregnancy."

"That's good though Lela. If there's still a heartbeat there's drugs we can give you to stop labor and we can try to get this baby to stay in longer."

"But what if there isn't Tara. With my history."

"We'll think about that when we get to it. But for now we are going to believe that that baby is alive."

Before any of us could say anything else a nurse came in with an ultrasound machine.

A few moments later I let out a breath I hadn't even realized I was holding when the sound of the heartbeat echoed in the room.

I couldn't help the tears and the silent sob that escaped in hearing that sound.


	37. Chapter 37

#36

A/N: Just a real quick note here. I hope that you are all safe this lovely winter because where I am we got a foot and half of snow in the span of two days. And it stopped for two days and now we are getting more snow. So please be safe out there if you are getting crappy weather!

Also if any info in here is wrong I apologize I just googled it so.

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After five days of being on different drugs the contractions still hadn't stopped. I was scared beyond words and didn't know what to do.

"Hey kid," Tig said walking into the room with a cup of ice cream.

"Please tell me that's for me," I begged him from my spot in the hospital bed.

"Did you want some?" he questioned.

"Don't mess with me old man," I threatened him.

"Knock, knock," Tara said coming into the room.

"So what's the verdict here Tara?" I asked her.

"Well the drugs seem to not be working so we are going to try and do a couple doses of steroids to get the babies lungs more developed. I'd hope to get you to at least 37 weeks but it seems like this baby wants out at 28."

"Is there anything else we can try? Can the baby even survive at 28 weeks?"

"We've already tried our options. Right now it's making sure both you and baby make it out of this."

"But can the baby survive?" I asked again.

"At 28 weeks the chances are definitely higher than they would have been a week ago. The longer we can keep him in there in the better."

"So what do we do now? I mean after the steroids?"

"After the steroids, we go in for a C-section. I don't know how far you got in planning, but this is the safest way for both of you."

"I haven't had the time to make any plans. I didn't think I'd be pregnant long enough to even get this far," I informed her wiping at the tears rolling down my face.

"But you did Lela. And if all goes well you could end up with a healthy baby boy with no long term health problems. You did good Lela," she said smiling at me.

Nodding my head I grabbed Tig's ice cream out of his hands as he stood beside me holding my hand.

"I'm going to get things set up with the doctors. Do you need anything?"

"No, it's just a lot to process," I told her before eating a spoonful of the strawberry ice cream.

After she left I continued to eat the ice cream in silence.

"Do you want me to bring the kids by?" Tig asked after a few minutes.

"I don't know. Why can't I do this Tig? I mean millions of women do this every day around the world and I can't even make it to 29 weeks."

"But you still made it baby girl. That's something to be proud of."

"I'm so fucking scared. I'm doing this alone again and I'm scared."

"You aren't alone Lela," Tig tried to explain.

"But I am Tig. Do you see my husband anywhere? Did he suddenly gain the ability to become invisible and I didn't know?" I asked getting angry.

"If I could get Happy here I would but I can't."

"Would you really though Tig. He's only in there because of some club shit. Can you just leave?" I asked.

"I'm not going to leave you here alone Lela."

"Either get the fuck out of my hospital room or so help me god I will fucking call fucking security," I told him calmly.

"Fine. I have to go to work anyways. But I'm going to be back," he grumbled grabbing his sweater and walking to the door.

When he left I broke down. I wanted nothing more than for this to be some fucked up pregnancy hormone infused nightmare my mind had come up with.

Three magazines and two cups of ice cream later my cell phone started to ring.

"Hello?" I questioned picking up without looking at the caller ID.

"Are you okay?" his low voice asked.

"Looks like your gonna have a new baby in a couple days," I told him.

"What?"

"None of the drugs are working so hopefully I can get a couple doses of steroids done and then I go in for a C-section. By the end of the week we'll have a baby," I told him rubbing the bump.

"I'm sorry I can't be there Lela."

"I know you are Hap. You always are. Look I have to go a nurse is here call the kids if you can," I told him before hanging up.

Rubbing my face I started taking deep breaths to calm myself down.

"Your father is a real complicated guy kid," I mumbled to the bump.

"You okay baby?" Gemma asked coming into the room.

"Yeah uh just got off the phone with Hap. Tig call you?" I asked forcing a small smile.

"Yeah he did. He's worried about you baby, said the kid's coming out a bit early," she replied sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I'm just getting tired of the bullshit. I'm tired of the broken promises and the false hope."

"It's all in the life baby. It's never perfect but it's the life we chose," she replied.

"I know. I just never saw life happening like this. I never thought that I'd be a mom or be married or do anything other than strip and the porn. But then everything changed and now I'm here and family history is being repeated."

"What are you talking about? You've made a life and a family for yourself, something your mother never did."

"She had three other kids after me Gemma. She had me when she was 19, biggest mistake of her life something I heard every day I was with her till I went and lived with Tig. I was there when she ended up in the hospital with the older two. Whether I like it or not I seem to be following in her footsteps. I took care of her and those kids every day to make her see that I could be loved and then I left and I got with Hap and like fifteen years later I'm still trying to prove to someone I love that I deserve to be loved," I told her fighting the tears.

Before she could respond Vic came running into the room with a smile a pictures followed by Tig carrying Mia.

"Mama Grandpa says my baby brother is coming!" Vic yelled excitedly.

"He did did he?" I asked in surprise as I wiped my face with the palm of my hands.

"Are you okay?" he asked noticing them

"Of course baby. Seeing you and your sister always makes me feel better. How was school?" I asked changing the subject as he climbed on the bed.

"It was okay. I have to read though," he replied.

"I always liked reading when I was your age. I'm sure Grandpa can help you find a book you like, I have piles and piles of them," I told him as I ran my hands through his hair.

"Mama," Mia said reaching for me.

"There's my girl," I replied smiling at her as I took her from Tig's arms.

"Truce?" He questioned after I got Mia settled.

"Truce," I replied smiling at him.


	38. Chapter 38

#37

A/N: Quick disclaimer I had to google a lot of this shit so if it's wrong I apologize. If you have any ideas or things you'd like to see please leave me a comment or a PM. I'm also thinking about doing a time jump, but I'm not sure if that should just turn into a story by itself or just keep it in this one because it is a big time jump, like years. I'm also thinking of doing a prequel of sorts. So leave me your thoughts on anything and everything whatever your little heart's desire.

Enjoy loves!

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"You sure you want me here?" Tig asked as he held my hand.

"I need someone and Tara's going to be with the baby. Not what you signed up for when you took me in huh?" I laughed as the nurses put up the sheet to separate us from what they were going to start to do.

"I'm not complaining here kid," he replied.

"I'm really scared Tig," I whispered.

"Everything is going to be fine kid. This kids a fighter."

"Okay Lela you are going to feel some pressure that's normal but if you feel pain tell us immediately," the doctor said from over the curtain.

"Okay," I replied feeling like my heart was about to jump out of my chest.

"You know you're going to have to let people help you now?" Tig asked in an attempt to keep me talking.

"I know, I'll come to that when the baby is here."

A few moments of quiet murmuring and the doctor announced the arrival.

"Congratulations Mom you have a healthy baby boy. Dr. Knowles and her team are going to take him to the NICU now while we stitch you up."

"Tig follow them," I told him as I watched Tara wheel the baby away.

"You sure?" he questioned.

"Yes, I just need to know he's okay," I told him as they disappeared from my view.

After I was stitched and stapled back together I waited in my room for Tig to come back with news. It had been hours and I was getting nervous.

"There you are," Tig said coming in with a smile on his face.

"Where have you been?" I asked him my voice laced with concern.

"I was watching the kid. Tara got some pictures," he said waving the small stack of Polaroid's in his hand.

"I want to see. Is he okay?" I asked stretching out my hand.

"He's a bit over two pounds. Just so you know he's hooked up to a lot of things, but he's fine," Tig said as he handed me the pictures.

Nodding my head I took the pictures. Nothing could of prepared me for the sight of the tiny human in the incubator. He was already hooked up to more IV's than I would of thought possible for someone so small.

"Are you sure he's okay? He's so small and all the IV's," I questioned.

"The doc said he was surprisingly healthy. Someone should be in to talk to you soon though."

"He's actually here," I whispered.

After a few moments of silence Tara came into the room.

"How are you doing?" she asked closing the door behind her.

"Little sore so pain meds are working. How's my son?" I asked.

"So far he's good. We expect some problems but at this stage almost 90% of babies make it. Did Tig give you the pictures?"

"Yeah he did. It's hard to believe he's okay with all the wires and tubes coming out of him. Is he going to have the one down his throat for a while?"

"It's hard to say. It depends on the baby really, but so far he's strong. Depending on how his tests come back and how your tests come back you can see him in a couple days or so."

"Can't I see him sooner?"

"Usually yes but we want to give him the best chance possible so till the tests come back we aren't going to take any chances."

"But he's okay, I have a healthy baby boy?" I questioned again needing reassurance.

"Yes, he is a healthy baby. Did you have a name picked out?" she asked smiling at me.

"Actually yes. His name is Mateo Jedrek Caymen Lowman."

"Okay I'll let the nurses know. Someone might be by to get the information for the birth certificate," she replied smiling before walking back out of the room.

"You sure you want to give the kid his name?" Tig asked after the door clicked shut.

"He's the father. I may not be happy with him and his choices right now but he's my kids father and my husband. I appreciate the concern though. How are Vic and Mia?" I asked him.

"Last I heard they giving everyone hell. Seems your son likes to color on walls and people while they sleep," he replied with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Yeah he does that when new people watch him. You can go home if you want, I'm probably just going to sleep."

"Nah baby girl I'm fine right here. I'm real proud of you, you know that? What you did today was amazing, I damn near cried."

"Aw getting sentimental in your old age there Grandpa?" I questioned smiling at him.

"Those damn kids of yours."

"Tell me about it. From day one they wrap you around their finger and you can't help it."


	39. Chapter 39

#38

A/N: so this has been rolling around my head for a while and I'm not sure if this will turn into something else but it'll just be a flashback chapter for now. As I write this story I always get ideas about things that have happened in their past to shape them into the dysfunctional couple they are and I'm like that'd be a good story so if you all like the flashbacks I will just make them their own book story thing and post as they come. Please leave comments! Also in this she doesn't meet Happy right away but this explains how she gets there.

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I hated when the phone rang early the house was too small for it to be ignored in the state of my hangover.

"Tig!" I yelled hoping that he would get it.

A few moments passed as it continued uninterrupted ringing.

"Tig it's for you anyways just fucking get it!" I yelled again.

Again it kept ringing. Taking the grey comforter with me I got up from my bed and walked into the kitchen to get the phone.

"Hello?" I mumbled as I ended up in a ball of blanket and myself.

"Thank god your home. You need to get to the hospital," Jax replied in a sigh of relief.

"For the last time I'm not forging your mother's signature on documents. I'm like ninety percent sure she's on to me by now get your bitchy girlfriend to do it," I replied upset that he was the reason I was up before two.

"It's not that. Tig was in an accident and they are taking him into surgery at some point."

"What? I swear I just heard you tell me Tig was in the hospital and I'm just now finding out about it after you," I said now standing up not caring that my blanket had stayed on the floor.

"It wasn't my call. Mom was going to call you but I told her I would."

"Fuck uh okay. I'll be there in twenty minutes I have to get dressed and hope the truck starts. Just tell them not to do anything till I get there okay?" I pleaded feeling panic set in.

"I'll try what I can, just get here," he replied hanging up.

Slamming the phone back on the wall I picked up the blanket and ran back to my room. Throwing it in the general direction of the bed I grabbed whatever clothes I could find and started smelling them. Finally finding a pair of black short shorts that smelled decent I put them on and started looking for a shirt.

"Fucking hell where are you," I grumbled as I tore through the closet trying to find a clean shirt.

The best thing I found was a grey shirt that was undoubtedly Tigs at some point and a couple sizes too big I pulled it over the white cami I had slept in. Running out of the room I grabbed my purse and dark blue converses before trying to find the bowl of keys.

"Come on come on. Damn it Tig please tell you put them back in," I prayed as I dumped out the ugly orange plastic bowl on the counter.

Finally finding the keys to the old truck I grabbed my things and ran out of the house not bothering to lock it.

Somehow the truck started on the first try. Not even questioning it I tore out of the street and raced to the hospital. By some miracle I wasn't pulled over as I tried to get to the hospital.

Pulling into the parking lot I saw Jax and Opie standing outside smoking. I quickly parked and grabbed the keys and my purse again not bothering to lock again.

"Is he in surgery?" I questioned as I ran up to them.

"Not yet, I think they have Gemma filling out some paperwork or something," Opie answered.

"Fuck okay. What floor?" I questioned as I pulled my hair into a bun.

"Second floor. Gemma should have the number," Jax answered.

Nodding my head I ran into the building and straight for the stairs. Taking them two at a time I burst through the door and looked around for Gemma.

"Where the hell have you been?" She yelled when I found her at the nurses station.

"What do you mean I got the call like twenty minutes ago? I didn't even know Tig left the house this morning," I yelled back at her.

"I told Jackson to call you two hours ago. Do you want to see him before he goes into surgery?" she asked folding her arms against her chest.

"Yeah. What happened?" I asked following her.

"No idea, the guys aren't saying anything. All I know is that there was an accident and he has a lot of internal bleeding. This is his room," she said stopping outside a closed door.

Taking a deep breath in I pushed open the door and stepped inside. There he was the man I had grown to love, the only family I had ever had.

"If you wanted to spend more time together old man you could of just asked me to breakfast," I told him as I hugged myself.

When I didn't get an answer I really looked at him. He was pale and wasn't breathing on his own, there were tubes everywhere on him.

"Come on Tig you can't leave me. I'm actually graduating, I mean not impressively but still. You told me we'd go party when I graduated. You have to be alive for that, okay? Please just don't leave me here alone, you are all I have in this world. And that's a really shitty sentence but it's true. So please just make it through this," I begged him as tears spilled over my cheeks.

There was a beat of silence and then all at once the alarms started to go off. I didn't know what was happening or what to do but soon the room was filled with people yelling and someone had pushed me out of the room. Standing in the hallway I watched as they all hurried him off somewhere still yelling and alarms still going off. I hadn't realized I was sobbing till I couldn't keep myself standing anymore and I fell to the ground with someone's arms wrapped around me.

"It's okay. He's going to be okay," he whispered.

We moved to up against a wall. I didn't look to see who was holding me until after I felt like I could breathe again.

"I can't go back to her. He can't leave me," I whispered to Jax.

"You won't go back. We won't let you," he whispered back kissing the top of my head.

"Did they take him?" Gemma asked walking up to us.

"Yeah uh all these alarms went off and they just wheeled him off," I told her as I stood up.

"Did you get to talk to him at least?" she asked snapping me back from my break down.

"Yeah I did. I have to go," I told her not bothering to look at Jax before leaving the hallway.

A few minutes later Jax came running after me as I waited for the elevator.

"Do you need a ride?" he asked slightly out of breath.

"Don't talk to me," I told him pressing the down button again.

"Why?"

"What were you doing for those two hours between when your mother told you to call me and when you actually did? Or should I say who were you doing?" I asked as the elevator dinged signaling it was opening.

"I told you somethings came up."

"You are so full of bullshit. If anything happens to him and I didn't get to say goodbye I will never forgive you Jax, never. He is all I have in this world that may not mean much to you since you have your Mom and the club. But he's all I have, the only person in this whole entire world who has ever given a shit about me and you wasted what could be my last hours with him by getting your dick wet. Just stay away from me," I told him before stepping into the elevator and pressing the first floor button repeatedly to make it close.


	40. Chapter 40

#39

A/N: I don't really have anything new to put just thought that I'd say hope you enjoy Also this is not a flashback.

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"You know the last time I thought that I was going to walk out of this hospital alone was when you were in here just before my graduation," I told Tig as we stood outside the NICU.

"No faith," he said smirking at me.

"I was realistic. Still am, something could still go horribly wrong and I could leave here without my son," I told him.

"When are you going to see Hap?" he asked in an effort to change the subject.

"I'm leaving in a bit. Didn't want to go see him till Mateo was coming home or at least I had an idea when he was going to be home."

"You've known about this for a week kid. He's had two practice runs before this."

"Okay so sue me for not wanting to see my husband. I'm not exactly his biggest fan right now Tig. Watch him please while I go talk to Hap?" I asked him finally.

"Of course. You do know that at some point you are going to have to leave the kid alone right?" he asked

"Tell that to me after you see his heart stop," I told him before walking to the elevators.

The drive to Stockton was one filled with anxiety. I was either thinking about if Mateo was okay or if the other kids were okay, I was also thinking about my next move. Would I stay in Charming or would I leave again?

Sitting at a table in the visitation room I fiddled with my wedding ring as I waited for him to sit down in front of me.

"You okay?" he asked when he finally appeared.

"Yeah I'm just fine. Do you want to tell me why you're in here?" I questioned looking up at him.

"They have me on a parole violation. You look tired are you sleeping?" he questioned.

"Jesus Hap really parole violation. So what you're in here on purpose?"

"I can't tell you that Lela."

"So what I'm never going to see you outside of this place again? Our kids will only know you like this?" I questioned in anger.

"At most I'll only be in here a few years, it won't be that long," he replied dismissing it.

"You really expect me to believe that bullshit?" I questioned.

"We're done talking about this. How's the baby?"

"He had a brain bleed about a week after he was born, but his body reabsorbed it. His lungs weren't fully developed when he was born so he's coming home on oxygen. But it's only for a few weeks. Other than that he's perfect," I told him with a proud smile.

"What's his name?"

"Mateo Jedrik Caymen Lowman."

"Just couldn't give up your name could you?" he asked smirking at me.

"Lowman's his only last name Hap. Caymen is just a middle name."

"When's he coming home?"

"Hopefully today. They usually try for ten weeks with how early he was born. But it won't be official for a few more hours. How are you?" I asked looking back down at my ring.

"I'm fine I was just worried when they told me about the baby."

"I was scared shitless. I'll see if someone can maybe bring Vic and Mia up next week, Mateo's not going to be able to come up for a few months so it'll just be those two."

"Do whatever you want. You have enough money? Is everything going to be taken care of?" he asked

"Yeah, I have enough. The clubs are doing decent and the studio is about to release a bunch of movies so we should be good."

"What about the kids hospital bills? Ten weeks in the NICU is a lot?"

"I have it taken care of Hap don't worry okay. I always take care of us when you're inside. Just make sure you make it out okay?" I asked him looking at his deep eyes.

"Ask for help if you need it Lela. Don't pull any of that shit again."

"I'm not a stupid kid anymore Hap, I know I have other options now."

Before he could respond we were informed that time was up.

"Whoever brings Vic and Mia up next week will bring some pictures of Mateo with. Please be careful Hap," I begged as he stood up.

Silently nodding he walked away to where the other inmates where lining up. When they went in I began the process of leaving.

The drive back to the house held more anxiety than the drive to Stockton had. The reality of the entire situation had finally set in. Happy was inside again for who knows how long and I was left on the outside with a premie and a toddler and an eight year old. Pulling up to the house I saw someone's bike and a car parked on the street. Sighing I grabbed my purse and walked into the house.

"Hello?" I yelled out as I closed the door and took off my flip flops.

"Mom!" Vic yelled running up to me.

"Hi baby. Where's your sister?" I asked bending down to kiss him on the cheek.

"She's eating in the living room," he replied

"Who's watching you?" I asked realizing I hadn't seen any adults yet.

"Ms. Tara and Jax," he replied before running off somewhere.

"Well okay then," I mumbled as I walked into the living room.

I saw Mia standing between the couch and the coffee table with crackers everywhere.

"Baby girl," I said smiling at her.

The recovery from the C-section had killed me. I couldn't pick Mia up or do anything on my own. I had to sleep in a recliner for weeks even after I got my staples removed. Even now I still felt like things were tearing when I tried to pick certain things up but I couldn't not hold my kids.

So here I was sitting on the couch bracing myself for the sudden jump of Mia.

"Mama!" the little girl cheered.

"Where you a good girl?" I asked as I hugged her tightly.

As an answer she shook her head up and down with a big toothy smile on her face.

"Sorry I just got the boys down for a nap. I was going to work on getting her down for one after I got them down," Tara replied walking into the room.

"No, no it's fine. I just got back so it's nice to see her before she takes a nap. How were they?" I asked

"They were fine almost had a meltdown about sharing but other than that they've just been asking about Hap. Mostly Vic was I didn't know what you were telling him so I just told him that he was working."

"That's more than I've done. I don't even know what to tell him now. Like before when he was younger just saying Hap was off working or was with one of the guys it worked but he's getting older and he's a smart kid."

"Do you know how long he's going to be inside?"

"No clue. I've just been avoiding it all and trying to focus on the kids. I asked him today but he wasn't sure either and he kind of just avoided my questions. Mateo might be coming home today though," I told her as I ran my fingers through Mia's curls as she laid against me.

"You got everything for that?" she asked.

"I think so. Hap still had Mia's bassinet out so for now I'm just going to use that till he gets a bigger and then I'll probably try co-sleeping see how that goes. I've done it with the other two but that was more I wasn't prepared to have a baby. Where's Jax," I asked noticing the lack of the blonde man.

"I think he's out back. He got a phone call before you walked in. I think I'm gonna put her to bed," Tara replied pointing to a now sleeping Mia.

Smiling I kissed her hair and watched as Tara took her and went down the hall to the bedroom.

After she left Jax walked back into the house. His look of surprise spoke for what had been said during the phone call.

"Jackson," I said nodding my head at him.

"Lela, how's the kid?" he asked sitting down on the small brown love seat.

"He's okay for now. If he behaves today he'll be able to come home tonight. Do you know why my husband is inside?" I asked pushing the question.

"I know as much as you do Lela."

"I highly doubt that. Tell Tara I went back to the hospital to sit with Mateo. I'll call her when I know what's happening," I told him as I stood up from the couch.

Walking out I grabbed my purse and keys again and got back into the car. A part of me had been hoping I could of gotten a quick shower but there was a bigger part of me that didn't want to be near other people that knew more about what was going on than I did.

The racing thoughts stopped when I stood outside of Mateo's NICU room and watched him through the window.

"He's strong," Tig replied from behind me.

"Anything come up while I was gone?" I asked not taking my eyes off of him.

"Not a thing. Everything is still golden kid."

"Am I a bad mother because I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop?" I questioned him.

"No, it just means you've learned from experience. How was Hap?"

"He's closing off again. I mean I know why he's inside and he has to be this person. But it's never happened to us while he was on the inside, when he does close me out it's out here and we work this shit. But this time is different."

"He loves you kid don't forget that. Looks like the doc's want to talk to you," he said as a doctor walked towards us.

Two hours later I nervously sat in the driveway with Mateo in the back seat waiting for Tig to come help me with the oxygen tubes and the other things that came with him. I jumped at the sound of someone knocking on my window, taking the keys and my purse I opened the door and smiled at Tig.

"Is anyone here?" I asked only seeing Tara's car.

"I think it's just Tara. You want other people here?" he asked.

"Not a chance. I guess let's get him inside," I said giving him a small smile.

Carefully I picked up the black carrier and made sure that the oxygen tubing wasn't kinked.

"Do you have the tank?" I asked Tig after I got him out of the car.

"I got it, now let's go inside."

Nodding I took a deep breath and walked to the door. Stepping inside was like a mad house had happened. Kids were screaming and the dogs were barking, sighing I motioned for Tig to follow me into the kitchen where I sat a somehow still sleeping Mateo on the table before walking into the living room.

"Buzz, Jesse outside," I yelled at the two barking dogs.

After I put them outside I saw Tara coming into the room from down the hall.

"Is the baby here?" she asked as she picked Abel up.

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen with Tig. More fighting over toys?" I asked her with a raise of my eyebrow.

"Oh yes. And now Abel gets to sit in the corner for three minutes," she said as she sat him in the corner by the TV.

Smiling I walked back into the kitchen as Tig was leaving to get the rest of the stuff from the car.

Picking up the carrier I grabbed the oxygen tank handle and slowly made my way into the living room before setting the carrier on the coffee table.

"Mama?" Vic questioned as he stood by the couch.

"Yeah baby."

"Is that the baby?" he asked walking towards me.

"This is your baby brother. He's not so scary now is he?" I asked wrapping my arm around Vic.

"What's in his nose?"

"That's to help him breathe. When he was born everything else in his body was really small too, so he needs a little help with everything right now. But in a few weeks he won't need the help. Then he'll just be a baby like Mia was," I explained.

"Can he play?"

"Not yet baby. First he has to sit up by himself, but I'm sure you can play with Abel," I suggested.

"But he's a baby Mom. I can't play with a baby."

"He's older than Mateo."

"But Mateo's different, he's my brother. It's like why I play with Mia she's my sister."

"Wow kid. You are complicated. Do you want to hold him?" I asked noticing that Mateo was starting to wake up.

"Isn't he to small?"

"You don't have to hold him right now if you don't want to. Whenever you want to though just wash your hands really well and come get me."


	41. Chapter 41

#40

A/N: I am hoping to get atleast another chapter out of this story so if there's anything you want to see please leave me a comment! This chapter is not that long, but it is Happy pov so.

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Happy POV:

First visitation since I had been brought in. I couldn't help the fall my face made when I saw Jax sitting in the visitation room instead of Lela.

"VP," I said nodding my head at him before sitting down across the table from him.

"Hey Hap."

"Where's Lela?"

"She's having the baby as we speak. From what Tara told me they put it off for as long as they could without it hurting both of them. She also said to tell you she didn't want to come see ya till the kid came home, something about wanting to be around if something where to happen."

"Fuck," I growled rubbing my head with both hands feeling the stubble.

"As far as I've heard they are okay. You good?" he questioned.

"Don't tell her why I'm here. She already went into labor because I was arrested. She don't need to know about this shit," he replied.

"Are you going to tell her?" he questioned in surprise.

"No. She already knows enough that if we weren't married they'd make her tell, she doesn't need to know about this shit. Just avoid it, she'll respect it eventually," I replied.

I had thought about it for a while, to tell her or not to tell her. But when I heard she had gone into labor so early that made my decision for me.

"So she just lives in the dark the whole time your inside? You know that shit will kill her right? Thinking that you can't even tell her why you're gone and she's left at home with three kids. She'll leave," he countered.

"My decision. She can't know so she won't. That simple I'll deal with the fall out when I get out, but this shit. If she knew it'd change everything anyways," I told him folding my hands on the table.

"It's your decision I guess. I'll try and get Tig to keep her here but no promises. You sure you don't want her to know?"

"She wanted that baby so damn bad. Because of me she had it at 28 weeks. The least I can do is make sure she can have those kids."

"Fuck man. Okay I'll pass it along that no one's to tell her. You sure though, because once this gets out there's no going back."

"It's always been no going back," I told him.

Before he could respond I had to go back. Nodding at him I got up and walked back to the line. Once in the cell I sat on my bunk and stared at the wall. I was all too aware of what was happening around me, the yelling the talking everything.

I could see all the cards on the table. My wife and kids or the club, a choice that I had never thought would even have to be made. We had talked about it in the early years and it had never seemed to change till now.

" _You know you don't have to make that choice?" she told me one night while in bed._

" _What choice?" I asked bringing the cigarette back to my lips._

" _The club or me. I get it you know, I saw it with Tig and I've seen it with Jax when Tara left. The club is a certain thing, it'll always be there unlike people. People leave at a whim."_

" _Shit are you high?" I asked knowing she only dealt with emotions when she was._

 _She laughed a deep laugh that from the look of surprise on her face she hadn't meant for it to be so deep._

" _Just a little. I got some pills from this chic at the club, it's some good shit," she said with a big smile before leaning over and taking the cigarette from me._

" _You're gonna be trouble aren't you?" I asked watching her smoke._

" _All the best things in life come with a little trouble big man," she replied._

After that first conversation they always seemed to follow that set up. I didn't have to choose between her and the club, never changed even when we started having kids.

But here I was feeling like I had to choose and I chose.


	42. Chapter 42

#41

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It'd been two weeks since I had seen Hap and Mateo came home. I hadn't had time to think about anything other than the repetitive schedule I had built. Mateo was now getting to the point where he didn't need oxygen as much as when he had first come home but the doctors were still wary of taking him off of it complete just yet. After I had gotten Mia to sit down and eat a snack while watching a movie the doorbell rang sending the dogs into a frenzy causing Mateo to start crying from the sudden loud noise.

"Fucking hell," I muttered as I picked him up trying to sooth him as I walked to the door.

Opening the door but keeping the cream colored metal screen door closed I saw a well-dressed woman in a black suit with what looked like her dark red hair pulled back into a tight bun.

"I have a sign on the door that says to knock for a reason. Now can I help you?" I asked her as Mateo started to quiet down.

"I'm looking for Lela Caymen," she replied ignoring my comment.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Teressa Bly. I'm an attorney for your older brother Mac Lewis," she replied taking out a card and pushing it up against the screen.

Sighing I nodded and unlocked the door before using my leg to push the dogs back so that she could come in.

"Buzz, Jessie go lay down," I ordered after closing the door behind her.

When they left the hallway I looked at the lawyer and thought how out of place she must of felt in here. While the house was normally a little chaotic it was even more so now that Mateo was home.

"Can I ask what this is about? I haven't seen my brother in almost nine years," I told her.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?" she asked smiling at me.

"Yeah uh through here. Sorry about the house it's normally not this bad but he just came home from the hospital and I have a one and a half year old along with an eight year old," I told her as we walked to the dining room table.

"No it's okay. I know that young kids can be chaotic. So like I said before I am your brother Mac's attorney, I came here to see if you would testify on his behalf in his upcoming trial. Now I know it's a lot to ask considering he's why your husband is in prison right now but I have to explore all his options otherwise I wouldn't be a good attorney," she replied while taking out a file from her briefcase.

"Wait, I'm very lost right now and I'm not sure if it's from lack of sleep or what. But did you just say that my husband was in prison because of Mac?" I questioned feeling my heart drop.

"I'm sorry I thought that you would have known. I know you have visited your husband a . . . Happy Lowman a couple of times since he's been in," she replied looking at her notes on a yellow notepad.

"Yes I've visited him but we didn't talk about why he was in there. What did Mac do?"

"According to the police your brother has been working with some people and your husband was photographed many times talking and meeting with him the months before his arrest. Mac was picked up and he made a deal which ended up with your husband where he is now."

"Shit," I muttered to myself.

Looking down at the sleeping little boy with dark hair I felt tears prick my eyes.

"So my brother who I haven't seen in almost nine years because of this shit got my husband in prison all to save his own ass?" I questioned looking at the lawyer.

"It's more complicated than that but as for what I can tell you yes. Your brother didn't want you involved in this but like I said before I wouldn't be as good at my job as I am if I didn't look at all the options."

"The only thing that makes it complicated is Mac. You can leave now, I'm not helping him. He got himself into this mess without me and I'm not going to bail him out now," I told her standing up and walking to the front door.

"Lela if he is fully convicted your brother could be in prison for a very long time. He has kids and a family, he shouldn't be punished for making stupid mistakes," she replied walking after me.

"Mac is my older brother meaning he's almost thirty five years old. I should not still be cleaning up his messes. He should have thought about his family and those kids before he made whatever deal he made with the devil. I wouldn't help him now even if I actually liked him or thought about him as my brother. So you can leave now and figure out whatever it is you have to figure out now that I'm not doing shit for him. But leave my house," I told her opening the door and the screen door.

I don't know if it was what I had told her or the fact that Buzz had now entered the hallway and was staring at her.

"If you change your mind here's my card," she replied handing it to me.

I didn't take it instead I simply stared at her and waited for her to walk out of the house. When she finally did I watched as she pulled away from the house before closing the doors again.

Stepping back inside I scratched Buzz behind his ears and went to go sit down in the living room with Mia.

"Cookie Mama," she replied with a smile as I sat down.

"Thank you baby," I told her as I smiled before taking the small teddy gram cracker from her.

Smiling she turned back to the movie and ate her crackers. Watching her I smiled and looked back at Mateo who was now asleep. Getting up I gently laid him in his grey elephant print lounger before covering him with a grey plush blanket. Walking away from him on the floor Buzz came over and gently laid his head on the boppy next to Mateo's head.

Walking back into the kitchen I grabbed my cell phone and called the one person I knew would know what the hell was going on.

"Jackson fucking Teller," I calmly said to him when he answered.

"Lela what can I do for you darlin'?" he asked.

"A lawyer came to my house today. She works for Mac and was under the impression that I knew what the hell was going on," I told him leaning against the counter.

"I'll be right over," he simply replied before hanging up.


	43. Chapter 43

#42

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By the time Jax pulled into the driveway Vic had come home from school and was patiently waiting for me to finish his snack while watching a movie with Mia in the living room.

"We need to talk," he replied walking into the kitchen.

"About you barging into other people's houses sure let's talk about that," I told him as I scooped peanut butter onto the small power rangers plate.

"Vic home?"

"Yeah he is, it was a short day at school today. Him and Mia are watching a movie in the living room. We can talk on the patio after I give him this," I replied nodding towards the plate.

"Where's the baby?" he asked taking a slice of apple.

"He's sleeping in the bedroom. I have a baby monitor in there with him."

Nodding his head he started to walk out to the back. Watching him left I sighed and picked up the plate.

"You guys okay?" I asked Vic as I placed the plate in front of him on the coffee table.

"Why's Mr. Jax here?" he asked looking up at me.

"We're just talking about Daddy baby. It's okay, keep an eye on your sister yeah?" I asked smiling at him as I cupped his face in my hand.

Nodding his head he went back to the movie. Making sure one last time they were okay I walked out to the patio with baby monitor in hand.

"So what's the story Jax?" I questioned sitting across from the blonde man as he smoked.

"So the lawyer that came by what's her name?" he asked flicking away his ash.

"Terresa Bly, she thought that I knew what was going on. So you can imagine my surprise when I found out that Hap is inside again because of Mac," I told him whispering my brother's name.

"I don't know the full story, Hap only told Clay the full story and he's on a run. But from what I was told after we got out Mac had reached out to your old man, he had heard about the deals we made while inside and he wanted to profit on it. Apparently your dear old big brother has moved up the chain since you've last seen him."

Shaking my head I took a cigarette from Jax's pack on the table and lighted it. Closing my eyes and taking in that first breath I let it sit in before blowing out.

"I knew it. I knew he was getting into some shady shit when he stopped sending money and asking to see Vic. So what exactly did Hap do for him?" I asked Jax after opening my eyes again.

"We had to do a little running. We kept it to a few guys but only Hap was supposed to meet with him."

"Jesus, okay where's the blackmail? I know Hap, he wouldn't do shit for Mac unless he had something on you guys," I told Jax while flicking my ash into the small stone ash tray on the table.

"He said he'd take Vic away. The man has connections now apparently because Hap took it as a credible threat."

"How, I mean how could I not know this?" I questioned.

"He was going to tell you and then he found out you were pregnant. He may be a dick but he always wants you and the kids to get what you can, he figured you at least deserved this chance."

I sat there for a few silent moments that seemed to drag on.

"Where is he?" I asked Jax finally.

"Last I heard Mac was in a federal facility, but there's also been talk that he's making a deal with the feds. Nothing's official though it's just rumors going around."

"I knew he'd find a way to screw me over after all these years. So I'm going to call his lawyer," I told him feeling the anger build inside of me.

"Why? What could that do now?" Jax asked.

"My family is imploding right before my eyes Jax. I'm here alone trying to keep it all together because that is what I do for him and for my kids, I keep shit together. But I am on the edge right now I need him here so if I have to talk to my pussy of a brothers lawyer and figure out what the fuck is happening then I will."

"Happy's not going to like that Lela. He didn't want you involved in this, that's why he didn't tell you. Don't go getting involved in this shit," Jax replied.

"Right now I have two kids asking where their father is and if he's in as long as he could be with his record, I will end up with two kids that have no memories of their father outside of prison and one who will be a god damn teenager when he gets out. You don't have to answer those questions or deal with the knowledge that those kids aren't going to know what to do if he gets out. I need to know why my brother is doing this, so if I have to ask him I will. Because I can't just sit here and try and lie to my kids for who knows how many years."

"Fine but if you are doing this then someone's coming with you," he conceded.

"I can't fucking believe this is happening again," I told him as I laid my head in my hands.

"You thinking about going into hiding again?"

"I don't know. I guess it depends on how this goes. I mean what else can I do with Hap's past and hell even mine. There's always Vegas for a bit again, I'm always getting offers to help friends out with their clubs."

"You know the club would protect you guys?" he questioned.

"I know but realistically everyone else has their own shit to deal with and club shit. Which is why I left the first time, I can take care of my own damn family. It may not be pretty but I can do it," I told him as I stubbed out the cigarette.

Before he could answer me I could hear Mateo starting to cry over the monitor. Picking it up I stood up and walked into the house, leaving Jax to make whatever phone calls he would probably make in my absence.


	44. Chapter 44

#43

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"Damn it Lela I told you someone was coming with you when you met with the lawyer!" Jax yelled into the phone when soon after I answered it.

"Hello to you too Jax."

"Pull the fuck over and tell me where you are. I'm going to this meeting with you," he told me.

I could hear other people yelling in the background and what sounded like a babies cries.

"And I told you Jax I'm doing what I have to too make sure my family survives this mess. So if I have to meet them alone I will. Look I'm pulling up to the place now, I'll call you when I'm done," I told him before closing the phone and placing it in my purse.

I let out a low whistle as I took in the size of the ranch house I was in front of. It had to be the wrong address she had given me, what lawyer met clients families at their private residence.

Slowly opening the car door I grabbed my purse and got out. Walking up the small set of stairs to the bright red door I took a breath before ringing the doorbell.

A few moments later the door opened to an older looking woman with her hair slightly curled around her face.

"Can I help you?" she asked politely.

"Um sorry I think I might have the wrong address. I'm looking for Teressa Bly, she's a lawyer."

"Oh yes. You're Lela Caymen?" she questioned smiling at me.

"Yes, so I do have the right address?" I questioned.

"Yes dear you do. Come in, come in. She'll be right down, the kids had a rough night, both have chicken pox's. If you'll just wait in the family room I'll go tell her you're here," she replied closing the door after me and leading me down the hall.

"If this is inconvenient I can come back another time," I told her as she opened double doors to a spacious room that seemed like controlled chaos with toys everywhere.

"No, no. I know she wanted to keep this. I'll just go and get her," she replied before leaving me.

Nodding I looked around the room and saw a row of pictures on the fireplace mantel. Walking over I saw them, a happy family filled with smiles and precious moments.

"Lela I'm so happy you came. There's been some developments in your brother's case," Teressa said coming into the room.

"And when were you going to tell me that you're married to him?" I asked her turning to face her.

I watched her as she looked between me and the row of pictures behind me.

"I, I was going to tell you but he said you probably wouldn't talk to me if you knew I was his wife."

"Are you even a lawyer?"

"I am, I'm licensed in a couple different states. I just I fell for your brother and he told me about his history and what he did but I still love him and built a life with him."

"Are you trying to bond with me or some shit?" I asked feeling anger build through my system.

"I guess. I mean we are family, but I do need your help with his case."

"Now it all makes sense. That son of a bitch," I said aloud laughing at myself and the situation.

"I'm sorry what about this situation is funny?"

"My husband only agreed to whatever the hell Mac came up with because Mac had leverage and now it all makes sense. He used you against my family," I told her as I walked towards the door.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?" she asked following me as I walked to the front door.

"Tell me this is he making a deal? Are my kids going to go years without their father while he gets to be out free living like a god damn king?" I asked her.

"I can't tell you that. But what I can tell you is that the feds are willing to work with Happy if he gives them what they want."

"Jesus Christ. You know nothing about how these people work do you? They live and die for the club, Happy will take being in prison for the rest of his life if it means his family is protected. The club is their family, they may get married and have a couple kids eventually but the club is always first. So you can think about what that means while you and your husband are on the run, because believe me when I say he won't live for long," I told her before walking down the stairs and to my car.

"What about your kids? Do you want them to grow up with their father in prison for the rest of their lives?" she yelled coming after me.

"As long as they know their father loves them I don't give a shit where he is," I told her before taking out my keys.

Before I found them a blacked out SUV pulled up to the house and all four doors opened, revealing three men in suits and Mac.

"You have to be fucking with me," I muttered.

I watched as Teressa ran towards him leaving me to get in the car unnoticed.

I sped back to the house where I had left Tig with the kids. I hoped that Mateo was still asleep and that Vic was just getting home. I had tried to plan this as flawlessly as possible, leaving Tig to only watch two kids.

Pulling into the driveway I saw another bike parked outside the house. Grabbing my purse and throwing the keys inside I quickly walked to the door before pushing the door open.

"You mind telling me where the hell you were?" Tig asked from the kitchen.

"I'll explain later. Is Vic home yet?" I asked him as I sat my purse on the counter.

"Yeah he went to go wake up Mia from her nap. What's wrong? You have that look," he asked putting down the apple.

"I have to run again. It's fucking happening. He fucking made a deal, I watched them drop him off at home. I get why Hap agreed to help him and I have to pack up the kids and leave again," I told him as I searched through the kitchen drawers for keys.

"What do you mean you have to run again? Who made a deal? Hey, Lela, look at me pay attention," Tig said grabbing me by the shoulders forcing me to look at him.

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes. Opening them I saw the worry.

"That lawyer that came to the house. She's Mac's wife, they have a couple of kids together. As I was leaving a blacked out SUV pulled up Mac was in there with at least three other feds. He made a fucking deal Tig, Hap is going away for god knows how long because of my brother."

"Shit, okay we'll figure that out. But what about you leaving again why are you running with the kids? Mateo just came home Lela how are you going to handle being on the run with all three kids?"

"I was there when Mac came home with a van full of feds Tig. You think they aren't going to try and get me away from the club? It's not like my record is clean Tig, my business is involved in shady shit. You don't think they can get me arrested for some bullshit and have my kids taken away since both parents are on the inside. Or even worse split them all up and send them to their biological parents?" I asked him whispering the last part.

Before he could answer Jax and Vic came into the kitchen.

"Mama I colored Mateo a picture can I show him?" vic asked when he saw me.

"Yeah baby if he's already awake. Remember he's just a little guy so he needs his sleep to get big like you okay?" I asked him.

Nodding his head he ran off leaving me with Jax and Tig.

"Tig can fill you in. I have to go pack," I told Jax before leaving the room.

A few silent minutes later Jax walked into Vic's room where I was packing his clothes and favorite toys.

"Where are you going to go?" he asked leaning against the door frame.

"There's a place me and Hap used to go to back in the day. I bought it a while ago, under a fake name with cash. But I'm going to go there for a bit. It's Vic's last week of school for the summer so it won't matter if he's gone. I just need to go dark for a while till the heat from this dies down."

"Why are you running Lela? Are you even going to tell Happy that you're taking his kids and splitting?"

"Jax, I'm all alone here. Worst case scenario the feds figure out who I am and they lock me up and take my kids and split them up, Vic would go back to Mac and Mia would end up with a mother who doesn't want her and Mateo would probably either end up with Vic or with the bitch that gave birth to me. I am trying to prevent that from happening. As for Happy believe it or not we are prepared for this, just tell him I went to the orchards and he'll know what it means and that we are safe. I don't want to leave Jax, my kids are happy and alive but I have to keep them with me they are all I have without Happy."

After a few silent moments he finally nodded and grabbed a pile of clothes and placed them in the black duffle bag.

"Okay, I'll help you. What do you need?"


	45. Chapter 45

#44

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"You mind explaining to me why we are packing up the car again?" Jax asked as I handed him bags full of the kids things.

Sighing I decided it was a now or never thing.

"Do you remember the couple of years or so before I permanently came to live with Tig?" I asked him.

"When you'd call from a pay phone, yeah. Gemma was pissed," he said smiling at me.

"When I was sixteen I got pregnant. I was running away all the time and he was just a guy I knew from class that would let me sleep in his basement. I figured if I could just wait till the summer when I would go stay with Tig that he'd help me."

"Does Hap know about this?" he whispered looking around.

"Yes, that's not the point of the story Jax. Look I've already had the state take one kid away from me, I'm not letting that happen to these kids."

"You do realize this is crazy right?"

"I do and I realize that I'm probably paranoid but with Hap's record and what my brother is doing can you blame me? I'm trying to do what I can to keep my family together, I don't want to watch as my kids are taken away from me. I can't go through that again."

"You really should of told me Lela? Why didn't you call when you had the kid back then?"

"Honestly?" I questioned getting annoyed that he kept pushing this.

"Yes. I could of helped, I could of told Tig done something."

"Because I was fucked up okay? My kid got taken away because I high and trying to numb myself from reality and I went into labor and they ran all the tests and it was either give up my baby or go to prison. All I wanted more at that moment was to be invisible and just leave because I still had a week till I was supposed to be at Tig's. So I gave up my kid and it's killing me more now than it ever has because I think about the past ten years of trying with Hap and that I have the kids I have now because I kept trying like hell. And what do I have to show for being a stupid teenager? The beginning of a record and a lifetime of fear that that kid will show up at my doorstep and I won't have anything to tell them other than I'm sorry and that I hope my doing drugs didn't fuck them up to much."

"Are you sure Hap knows all of this?" Jax questioned.

 _._

 _._

" _Where's the scar from?" he asked as we laid in bed and smoked._

" _A long ass story. Nothing that concerns you though," I told him as I grabbed the altoids tin on the bed side table._

" _I've got plenty of time Mami," he countered watching as I rummaged through the tin looking for the pill I wanted._

" _Why do you want to know so bad?" I asked before swallowing the pill._

" _Looks old and from where it is I can guess but I'd rather you tell me where it came from."_

" _Fine. Do you remember last week when I was so fucked up I couldn't even walk and we slept on the bathroom floor because I didn't want you to take me to the hospital?" I questioned before taking a drag from the cigarette between my fingers._

 _Nodding his head he motioned for me to continue the story._

" _Four years ago I had a baby. I was so fucked up when I had her but I ended up having a doctor that gave me the choice of giving up the baby and they wouldn't report me. That's where this scar is from, I had a c-section and there's ones from my mom too but those are other stories," I told him refusing to look at him and instead looking at the ceiling._

" _Why didn't you tell me before? I told you about Maria," he questioned._

" _Not exactly my proudest moment Happy. I was doing drugs all the time and the state took away my kid. Just please don't tell anyone okay? Not even Tig knows about the baby."_

" _Yeah I got you," he said simply before rolling over on top of me._

 _Giggling I stubbed out my cigarette and leaned up to kiss him while taking his and stubbing that one out too._

 _._

 _._

Shaking my head I looked at Jax.

"Trust me Jax he knows. Now don't say a word of this to anyone, it's you and Happy, you're the only ones who know about this. Not even Tig knows," I warned him as I picked up the last of the bags and brought them up front.

"Are you taking the dogs?" he asked changing the subject.

"Yeah. Vic would freak if I didn't and at this point I need to try to keep them all as happy as I can."


	46. Chapter 46

#45

A/N: I'm back and now allow me to explain my absence. I have severe depression and I got hit with a really bad episode which ended with school ending horribly and me having no faith in anything I was doing. But when I came out of it I did realize that I didn't like the chapters I had written already for this story, so I scraped them all and I came up with a new plan which is where all of you lovely people come in. I already have the ending of this story written but I wanted to put some flashbacks into the story before ending it. So if there's anything you'd like to see from their past please leave a comment or PM me!

Now back to our regular scheduled programing

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Six hours later I pulled into a small gas station to let the kids and dogs out.

"Mom where are we going?" Vic asked as I opened his door.

"We're going on a little trip baby. Do you have to go to the bathroom?" I asked him as I unbuckled a sleeping Mia.

"Yes, can I get some Cheetos?" he asked as I walked to the other side of the car to get Mateo.

"Maybe. Do you want some pizza for dinner?" I asked him.

"Can I have soda?" he asked excitedly.

"Maybe if you behave. Come on lets go to the bathroom real quick," I told him as I struggled to carry both Mia and Mateo's carrier in my hands.

"Is Daddy going to stay with us?" he asked as we walked into the gas station.

"Not right now. Maybe in a couple weeks," I offered hoping that he'd let the subject drop.

After changing diapers and making sure Vic washed his hands I let him grab a few treats before going back out to the car. I was thankful that it was starting to get dark so that I could keep Mia and Mateo in the SUV with the windows down while Vic helped me with the dogs.

"Are you and Dad fighting again?" he asked not looking up scratching Jesse's ears.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because we only go on trips now when you guys are fighting. And Dad's gone again," he explained.

"Hey," I replied grabbing his chin and looking down at him, "Me and your Dad are fine baby. I'm just trying to make sure we stay together. Now come on we have to get to the new house before it gets too late," I told him before kissing the top of his forehead.

Once both dogs were back in the SUV I decided to treat Vic to sitting up front with me. Driving through the small city I smiled at the memories there. When we hit the outskirts and saw the mountain range in the distance my heart started the thump louder and louder in my chest. Pulling into the last neighborhood before you hit the mountains I slowly crept through it looking for the house. Finally I saw it, the small house where things had changed for Happy and I so many times. Pulling up to the house I smiled a little, the faded blue and the slightly worn deck made it seem like home.

"Are we here?" Vic asked from beside me.

"Yeah we are. Let's get your brother and sister inside and then we can order pizza," I told him as I grabbed my purse from the inside of the door.

Digging the keys out of my purse I handed them to Vic and told him to go wait by the front door while I got Mia and Mateo. Once he was gone I opened Mia's door and let out a deep breath, I hated that this is where we ended up again. But I had known it would happen at some point.

"Mama," Mia said sleepily once she saw me standing there.

"Hey baby girl, come on. Let's go inside and see what damage you can cause in this house," I smiling at her.

Picking her up I closed her door with my hip and walked over to where Mateo was. Looking into his carrier I saw that he was awake and looking at the toys that were hanging from the handle. Carefully picking it up I again closed the door with my hip and slowly made my way up to the house where Vic was waiting for me. Setting Mateo down I took the key from him and put it in the lock. Opening the door the alarm went off causing Mateo and Mia to start crying from surprise. Sighing I quickly picked up Mateo and walked inside the house setting him down on the coffee table in the small living room. That the front hallway led into.

"Watch your brother," I told Vic as I went down another hallway and found the security pad. Entering in the code I started to bounce Mia up and down in an effort to calm her down.

"It's okay baby girl Mama's got you. Do you want to come with me to get the dogs hmm?" I asked her as I walked back to Vic and Mateo.

Looking in the living room I saw Vic trying to get his baby brother to stop crying by making funny faces and it seemed to be working a little.

"Can you watch him while I get the dogs?" I asked him.

He didn't answer but nodded his head. Smiling at them I went back out to the car with Mia still in my arm.

"Do you want your blanket?" I asked her.

When she didn't answer I looked down and saw that her thumb was in her mouth but she was shaking her head up and down.

Laughing at her I opened her door and grabbed the small blanket from her car seat and closed the door. The dogs were starting to bark from excitement and were pawing at the back window.

"Back," I yelled at them before opening the back.

Once they were both out of the car I let them walk around the front yard for a few minutes till I heard Mateo start to cry again. Whistling for them I opened the front door and they came running in. Closing the door I put Mia down to let her explore a bit and went to pick up Mateo.

"What's wrong with him Mom?" Vic asked.

"He's just hungry baby. I'm going to go make a bottle then order the pizza, why don't you take Mia and go turn on the rest of the lights in the house," I suggested as I walked towards the kitchen with his diaper bag in hand.

Hearing them both run off I sat the diaper bag down and dug out the premade bottle. Rocking back and forth I turned on the water and waited till it was filled. Once the water and formula were mixed I gave the bottle to Mateo who happily accepted it.

"One child fed another to go," I said to myself as I reached for the phone sitting on the counter.

Once I placed the order I walked around the house in search of Vic and Mia and the dogs. When I got to what had at one point been mine and Hap's room I saw that Vic had turned on the TV and they were all sitting on the bed watching whatever it had been on.

"What are kids doing?" I asked smiling at them from the doorway.

"TV," Vic replied.

Shaking my head I walked further in to see what was on.

"This is not appropriate for you guys," I said when I saw that it was Futurama.

Turning off the TV I ushered them all into the living room, and turned on that TV and tried to find something appropriate. Finally settling on some kids show I walked over to the couch and grabbed the pillows to keep Mateo elevated while I went to get the rest of our bags.

Seeing that they were fine I went back out to the car and started to grab as many bags as I could. Two trips later I sat down on the couch exhausted with Mateo sitting up against my thighs as I watched the kids show and let him play with my fingers.

"Mom pizza's here," Vic replied as a pair of headlights shown through the window.

Laughing at him I put Mateo back in the pile of pillows and grabbed my purse for cash.

When the doorbell rang both dogs started barking from their spots by the kids.

Opening the door I thanked the teenage pizza boy and took the pizza while handing him the money.

"Please try not to make a mess," I told Vic as I sat the pizza down on the coffee table.

After a surprising amount of pizza had been eaten by both kids I laid in bed with Vic cuddled next to me while Mia and Mateo where both sleeping in their pac'n'plays next to the bed.

"Mom," Vic whispered.

"Yeah baby," I answered as I played with his hair in the dark.

"Can you tell me a bed time story?" he asked snuggling closer to me.

Laughing a little I kissed his head and began to think.

"Did you know the first Christmas you and your Dad ever had together was here in this house?" I asked him.

"Really? How come I don't remember?" he asked in surprise.

"You were only two at the time. But it was here in this house, I'm sure I have pictures somewhere around here."

 _._

 _I sat nervously on the floor in the living room as I wrapped the last of the presents Santa was going to bring for Vic. I hadn't paid any attention to the sound of a motorcycle pulling up thinking that it was just Tig and he had been able to come for Christmas after all. It wasn't till the doorbell rang that I got suspicious, usually Tig just walked in. Getting up I looked at the small wall clock and saw that it was close to six thirty which was usually the time that Vic got up. Rushing to get up I ran to the door in an effort to keep Vic asleep till I could get the wrapping paper put up and everything set up for him._

" _It's Christmas morning who the fuck rings the doorbell!" I yelled as I answered the door._

" _Want me to leave then?" he questioned with a smirk on his face._

" _Fuck," I said when I saw him standing there._

" _I fucking missed you Hap," I said after a few moments and brought his lips to my own._

 _Feeling him smirk against my lips we walked into the house still kissing as he closed the front door with his boot. He pushed me against the wall and brought his hand up to my chest and squeezed._

" _Fuck, as much as I'd love to continue this babe Vic's gonna be up any second and I still have to clean up the living room and create the illusion of Santa for him," I said pushing against his chest._

" _The kid up this early?" he asked in surprise._

" _Yeah, I'm hoping he grows out of it though," I said giggling a little._

" _You want some help setting up?" he asked bringing his hands down to rest on my hips._

" _If you could just throw the wrapping paper and stuff into our room that'd be great I already have his stocking filled and sitting on the couch with a stuffed animal," I told him rubbing his chest._

" _You got it Mama," he said smirking again before leaning down to kiss me again._

 _After a few moments of that I pushed him away._

" _I'd really like to not scar the kid this early in the morning on Christmas," I said before walking away._

 _Five minutes later Vic came running out of his room with me slowly following behind him cup of coffee in hand. I stood back and smiled at the sight of him running past his stocking to where Happy sat by the tree. Deep down there had been a part of me that feared the visits to the jail wouldn't be enough for Vic to not fear Happy. But apparently they were so I stood back and let them have a moment together before going in._

" _Ready to open presents?" I asked smiling at them._

" _That coffee?" Happy asked as I sat down on the couch behind them._

" _Yep," I replied popping the 'p' before taking a sip._

 _Not saying anything he just held his hand up and I placed the mug in his hand._

" _Vic baby why don't you come open your stocking," I said holding up the bursting Winnie the Pooh red stocking._

 _After a couple hours of opening presents and most of that being Vic playing with some of the gift bags that were bigger than he was, I got up to get more coffee. While I was in the kitchen I heard Happy come in and lean against the counter._

" _You can leave if you want to you know," I told him as I stirred in my creamer._

" _What?"_

" _I mean you didn't exactly sign up for us having a kid and with everything that happened with Maria and when I was a teenager. I wouldn't blame you or even be mad if you decided this wasn't something you wanted after all. He's still young enough where it won't hurt him for you to leave."_

" _I wouldn't of come here if I didn't think it was something I wanted Lela. I would gone any place but here."_

" _Okay but being with him all the time is extremely different than us coming to see you every week or so at the prison. Just please take the day to think about if you can live like this. As much as I'd love for us to be a family I don't want you to wake up one day in a year or ten and regret staying with us," I explained._

 _When I tried to walk out of the room he grabbed my arm pulling me in front of him and placing both hands on my hips using his thumbs to rub the skin under the elastic band of my pajama shorts._

" _I'm here because I want to be here. I want this Lela," he said before squeezing my hips then leaving the room to go help Vic with his new toys._

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"You know there's a picture of you and your Dad asleep on the couch? You wore him out just wanting to play and run around and play. By the time he finally got you to sit down to watch a movie with him you had crawled on his chest and fell asleep," I told Vic.

When he didn't answer I looked down and saw that he was asleep. Kissing his head I brought him closer and looked at all my kids sleeping in the room with me.


	47. Chapter 47

#47

A/N: Ahh hey guess who figured out how to post from her phone! This wasn't the chapter I had originally written but me and my computer are in an argument at the moment so here's this gem. That I was oddly inspired to write about Happy and Lela's past. Because I'm on my phone for this chapter the bold is a flashback.

Enjoy and please review! Love you all! 3

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Waking up I disentangled Vic's limbs from my body and carefully got out of the bed. Making sure they were all still asleep I kept the door open and the lights off as I walked into the living room. Walking to the small bookcase by the TV I picked out a black leather photo album and curled up in a corner of the couch. Flipping on the small floor lamp I opened the book and flipped through the pictures watching as the faces and years went past till I came to one that made me freeze.

It was taken while Tig was in the hospital just before graduation. Jack and I were sitting on the side of the street smoking with Tig in front of the hospital.

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 **"I'm sorry you know," Jax said as he sat next to me.**

 **"I guess I over reacted too. It's just he's all I have Jax, if he dies then I'm left alone. He's not even really my Uncle, he just used to fuck my Aunt and for a few years I stayed with them on and off and then my Aunt died and when he heard I was back with my Mom he paid her off. I literally have no one besides him Jax," I told him as I brought the cigarette to my lips.**

 **We sat there and said nothing to each other just smoking and taking in the sunshine.**

 **"What's going on with you and Hap?" He asked after awhile.**

 **"What do you mean?" I asked confused.**

 **"I mean I've seen you leave his room early in the mornings. There's been some whispers around the clubhouse about you two," he replied with a smirk.**

 **"So we've fucked around a few times. Why is that any of your business?"**

 **"Just wondering what Tig is gonna say when he realizes what's happening with you two."**

 **"If I'm being honest, I have no clue what's happening. It's just something fun I mean the sex is fantastic and there's no judgement about our past. Hell we don't even talk about our past most of the time. I can just be there," I told him ending my ramble.**

 **"Your 18 what past do you have?" He asked laughing at me.**

 **"Oh sweetie you have no idea what my past can hold. I had no supervision for a majority of my life."**

 **"Lela what are you doing here?" Tig asked as a nurse wheeled him outside.**

 **"Seriously old man I leave for a smoke and your up and already flirting your way out," I replied smiling at him as I stood up and hugged him.**

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I was brought out of the memory when I heard Mateo starting to cry. Closing the book I sat it down and walked to the room. Making sure he didn't wake up the other two I picked him up and started rocking him.

"Are you hungry baby?" I asked as he slowly started to calm down.

"Lets make you a bottle and then lets see what's on at five am," I told him as I looked at the clock on the oven.

As I waited for the bottle to heat up I turned on the TV and watched the news.

I sat there on the couch as I fed Mateo and watched what was happening in the world. And that was when it clicked, what I had to do.


	48. Chapter 48

#48

A/N: okay here it is the last chapter. I just wanted to thank all of you from the very bottom of my heart for reading this story and sticking with it through all the insane breaks I don't think I can ever express how much it means to me that you guys have held on. This story has meant so much to me it was so far out of my comfort zone content wise but even through my doubts (and a huge thank you to the people who have helped me through them) I absolutely loved this story. This was originally supposed to be a quick one shot from an unfinished story I had started in my old high school chem class instead of actually paying attention. But then it turned into more and I wanted to show this so very oddly dysfunctional relationship between Lela and Happy, because let's be real here it's dysfunctional af but I loved that. I also wanted to show another version of a side of Gemma I oddly loved. I loved how she did everything she could to keep her family and kids safe, that's something I marvel at because it's not what I grew up with. Yes her plans were crazy as hell and you always ended up face palming but that's life and I wanted to show another character who had that side of her. I've been trying for weeks to get more flashbacks in but nothing felt right to me, but ending this story like this did. I hope that you all love it or at least feel like it's a good ending.

Italics are flashbacks.

So here we go folks. . . All the love 3

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Sitting in the quiet room I couldn't help but notice the irony of it all. I was here where it all began in an interrogation room waiting. There's something about it all that made me smile and think about how I ended up here.

 _Silently I sat on the steps of the old house waiting for the cars to pull up like I knew they would. I knew they'd be watching the house waiting for me to come back because what Mother just runs off from her family and businesses with three kids in tow. Taking in the rising sun I took a slow long sip from the paper coffee cup that warmed my hands. Then there it was the first sign that I was right and my plan actually had a chance at working. I had never prayed so hard for anything in my life than for this plan to work. Those kids had given me something to fight for and I wanted them to go on living the life Hap and I had always wanted for them. Silently I watched as the lone sheriffs car parked in front of the house, still holding the coffee cup I took another sip as another car showed up._

 _"Mrs. Lowman," Roosevelt said nodding at her as he stopped in front of her._

 _"Sheriff. To what do I owe the pleasure of your fine company as I sit on my property drinking my morning coffee and enjoying the quiet. Which with three young kids I can assure you is a rarity," I informed him with a smile._

 _"I'm going to have to bring you in. Are your kids inside?" He asked looking behind me at the empty house._

 _"Don't worry about my kids Sheriff. You going to cuff me or can I finish my coffee?" I asked standing up noticing that behind him a deputy had come out of the second car._

 _"Just come this way," he motioned to his car placing a hand on my arm._

And that brought me here waiting, my coffee long gone.

"Mrs. Lowman it's a pleasure to meet you finally," a scruffy lanky man said coming into the room.

"Well your new," I commented as he sat down across from me.

"We talked to your lawyer about your children, she assured us they were safe but I'd prefer to hear from their current guardian," he replied.

"My kids are safe. Their safety is not something my husband and I take lightly," I informed him.

"Ah yes, your husband. Now that's an interesting match I have to say. Twenty years your senior, one previous marriage on his side along with a child from that marriage and then you came into the picture. I had some old surveillance pictures dug up, you two started when you were very young eighteen if I'm correct," he told her as he laid out documents and pictures to go with them.

"You've done your homework. Is that all or was there a reason you had me brought in?" I asked ignoring the pictures.

"You're older brother Mac was almost killed three nights ago. I don't suppose you know anything about that?"

"No, I don't. But I'm sad they didn't get the job done," I told him as I watched him go through the file again.

"You had a child before you moved here correct? A baby girl?"

"Yes I did. Is there a reason why you're bringing up the past?" I asked feeling the pit grow in my stomach at the mention of the baby.

"I just found it all very fascinating, you and your husband I mean. From what I've heard you are very aware of his indiscretions but yet he's just recently found out about yours."

"You can't charge me for that shit. It's been years since I've done anything like that," I informed him feeling my heart jump at the mention of my past.

"I heard from one of the girls at the club that you say you haven't been with another man since you were 18 but yet you were paid to sleep with men a couple of times."

"There's a difference between being with someone and sex for survival. Is that all or let me guess my husband is behind the window there listening to this or better yet your tapping this and are going to show it to him later," I guessed.

"There is indeed a difference. As for your husband he is behind the glass, I thought that he might like to hear this interview."

Nodding my head I knew what I had to do.

"You want to talk about the past? Ask me anything, there won't be any answers to any questions about what my husband does or what I've done. But you seem to have an interest in our past, so ask away."

"Did you know your mother adopted your baby girl?"

"I did. I didn't hear about it till a month after but I was too high to give a damn. I can only hope that the old bat treated her better than she treated me. Anything else or do you want to talk about my husband's other daughter and how his ex-wife was to bitter at the world to let them try to have a relationship so she hates him and me and she hasn't spoken to him since she was thirteen?" I asked.

"Have you always known he was married before you?"

"Oh honey I was with him when he was still married to her. It took her years to sign those papers," I said laughing at the question.

"Where are your kids Lela?"

"They are far, far away from here. There's one thing you didn't get from your little insider, I am a very paranoid bitch. My kids were always going to come out of this safe, and yes I'm willing to risk my marriage for that simple fact," I informed him before leaning back against my chair watching as he slowly put all the papers and photographs back into his folder.

"What can you tell me about the attempt on your brothers life?" He asked.

"All I can say is I'm sorry they didn't succeed. Mac is nothing but a junkie whore who traded his family for god knows what. I spent years picking up his messes but he went too far. All I can say is that he had better watch his back he's pissed off a lot of people in his time," I told him.

After he left the room I stayed in the room for a total of six more hours. By the time they let me go the sun was starting to set. The eight hours I had given Tara were long up and with any luck they'd be long out of the state. Stepping down the steps of the station I saw Tig leaning against his bike across the street. Slowly crossing the street I was instantly brought into a hug that made my heart break.

"Did they get out?" I whispered.

"Hey just got the phone call they made it to Nevada. Your Dads guys are following them to make sure they get to the border. Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Tig asked as we pulled away.

"If she doesn't hear from me right hours after they get to the house in Texas then she knows I was arrested. I have to do this for them Tig," I told him as I hung on to his sweater.

"Come on let's get you to the club the house is probably bugged to hell by now," he replied before getting on to his motorcycle.

Nodding my head I got on behind him and wrapped my arms around him before he started it and took off.

Pulling up to the clubhouse I felt a tug at my heart. It was always strange to come here without Happy even after all these years.

"Is Jax here?" I asked him as I got off.

"Yeah," Tig replied nodding his head at the direction of the swing set.

There was the blonde in question sitting on one of the swings smoking. Walking over I watched him for any signs of Tara having not told him the plan. But when he saw me I got the exact opposite.

"You know what they are going to do yet?" He asked as I took the other swing.

"Nope and it honestly scares the hell out of me. I could never see my kids again, only one of them has memories of me but I know that I'd rather them be safe than give in to the selfish need to have them here," I replied as I softly pushed my feet off the ground.

"You sure this will work?"

"I'm praying it does. What about you? Tara never really told me how you felt about the plan," I asked knowing that he had to be missing his kids too.

"I think logically it's a good plan, but selfishly I miss them like hell. You get to talk to Hap?"

"No, but they said he was behind the mirror during my questioning. My marriage is probably dead right about now because there's a lot of shit I've hid from him. Did you try to kill Mac?" I asked

"No darlin' I think that was your Dad. Damn shame though his guy missed," he replied giving me a small smile.

"Tell me about it. That new guy the tall lanky guy, he kept trying to get me to tell if I knew anything he'd ask about Mac then bring up the shitty things from the past and then ask again. Apparently there's surveillance photos of me and Hap from back when we first got together," I told him smirking.

"I'm sure they got a lot of use," he replied chuckling at me.

"Your a fucking pervert you know that. Tig said they got into Nevada okay, now we just wait," I told him.

"You did the right thing. It hurts but I feel like you need that outside person to say that," he said after a few minutes of sitting in silence.

"I never questioned myself more than when I had to call Tara. Thank you for helping me Jax," I told him before getting up and walking to the club house.

Happy POV

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There was something to be said for having your mistakes shown to you. And then to have them shown to your wife. I was filled with a stone rage as I heard all that had happened, that my kids were somewhere in the wind.

"Mr. Lowman if you'll follow me," Roosevelt said after Lela was done being questioned.

Silently I followed him with an officer behind me before I was cuffed to a table.

"I just had a very interesting conversation with your wife, which you heard. I have enough witness statements to keep her away from your children for a while. Now we can make a deal and she can be with your kids or you can sit there and be silent and let her take the fall for mistakes you played a part in," he told me as I stared at him.

"You know why we've been together for so long?" I asked ignoring his words.

"No why don't you tell me."

"We're both fucked. You don't get with a crazy paranoid bitch like her unless you're crazy. Whatever you think I didn't know about her, I've know for years. Now I want my lawyer," I told him as I leaned back into the chair.

"You two are very alike. But that doesn't mean you both aren't untouchable. Do the right thing and tell us what we want to know and your wife and kids don't get harmed."

There it was the trigger words. The stone started to crack but I knew I had to keep it all inside. Taking a deep breath I looked at his smug smile and gave him one myself.

"Get me my lawyer," I told him again.

Lela POV

It took five days of quiet and pacing for me to find out if I was going to be arrested or not. Five days of no contact with my kids or Happy, just myself sitting in a room in the club house. I wanted nothing more than to hear Vic and Mia's voices but I knew I couldn't risk it. It was a funny thing hope, you go so long with none of it in sight but then gradually you get some and it's not till it's gone that you realize you even had it. Staring at the picture I had of the kids I felt the tears roll down my cheek as I thought about the last time I had seen them.

 _"Mama are you coming with us?" Vic asked as I helped him put on his Spider-Man backpack._

 _"No baby not this time. You and your brother and sister are going to go on a road trip with and Abel and Thomas and Uncle Opie. Mama's going to try and meet up with you guys, but it might take me awhile. And if it does I want you to know that I love you so much okay? Your Daddy and I are so incredibly thankful you came into our lives and I never want you to doubt that ever," I told him as I cupped his face in my hands and felt tears roll down my face._

 _"Don't be sad Mama," he whispered._

 _"I'm not sad baby. Pinky promise you'll behave for Ms. Tara?" I asked giving him a sad smile as I held up my pinky._

 _"Pinky promise," he replied smiling with me as he wrapped his own small finger around mine and we kissed our hands._

 _"The cars ready Lela," Opie said knocking on the wall of the bedroom._

 _Nodding my head I hugged Vic and kissed the top of his head._

 _"Okay let's go out to ," I said standing up and grabbing Vic's hand in my own._

 _Silently we walked out to the car and I saw Tara buckling in Thomas and Mia into their car seats. When Vic got into his seat I kissed Mia and Mateo's heads and told them I loved them before I closed the mini van's door._

 _"Thank you for doing this Tara," I told her tears still in my eyes._

 _"I should be thanking you. You're getting my boys out of here Lela."_

 _"There's some letters in Vic's backpack for when the kids get older if I end up going inside. There's also money and my Dad said that he will meet you guys in Texas and get you some fake passports. Please just don't come back unless you hear from me or Jax. This is the only chance we have at making sure my kids stay together," I told her as Opie started the van._

 _"I promise. Be careful, please," she said before hugging me._

I was brought out of the memory when a knock on the door came. Getting up I slowly opened the door and saw Tig standing there with glassy eyes.

"What happened?" I asked my voice breaking.

"It worked baby girl. Your plan it worked, they aren't going after you and Mac's off the grid he left the lawyer," he told me as I felt a breath I had no clue was holding let out.

"What about Happy?" I asked.

"He got the five years," Tig said before I hugged him.

"Is Happy okay?" I whispered.

"He's fine, honestly I think this is all going to go much smoother now that you're not going inside. The deal was signed and Clays taking care of Mac once he's inside and Roosevelt is trying to put him there," Tig informed me as I pulled away wiping away the tears.

"I need to call Tara," I said going back into the room in search of my phone.

After the phone call was made I packed what I could and got into the suv Tig had waiting for me in front of the club. I drove as much I could only sleeping for a couple hours and living off of cheap gas station coffee. Pulling up to the small house I swore my heart stopped when I saw Vic and Abel playing outside.

Getting out of the car I watched them till Vic turned and saw me. The dimpled smile on that little boy's face was so big I swore it'd break his face.

"Hey baby boy," I said hugging him tightly against my body.

"You're here Mama," he yelled excitedly as he wrapped his arms around my neck.

"I'm here baby, I'm here," I whispered never letting go of him as I stood up.

Looking at the porch I saw Tara smile as she watched us and Abel went up to her wanting attention himself.

There's was something to be said for being able to hold my kids again. I was beginning to come to terms with it never happening again or at least not while they were still little. But here I was holding them and never letting them go.


End file.
